The Game Oversimplification Thread - Take any game and intentionally make it sound boring

You are a nameless security officer stationed in a space ship, you can only go through terminals to learn more as to what happened, on board are AIs as well.
 
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You amass wealth power and children as you fuck your sister around europe india and africa.
 
You try to convince your brother and friends that isekai is bad by being a fugitive and stealing everything that isn't boots
 
The Shadow said:
Overworked security guard finds a side gig in IT
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Human Revolution, I'm right, right?
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1. Four ne'er-do-wells descend a mountain and break a magic cube.
2. Rich Evans is an amorphous blob of cancer with no friends.
3. Amnesiac slaughters cute critters, eats doritos and leaves his friends to die on an island.
 
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A church near a small village is filled with eldritch horrors and a former mad ruler.
 
You bust a drug fueled orgy disguised as a rowdy costume party.
 
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