The General Thread

~*dank meme*~ said:
There's this girl I used to be friends with from high school that I now hate. She was a snitch and only furthered the gap between one friend I fought with and subsequently got mad at because they talked shit about me and me.

Seeing her being constantly in and out of the hospital fuels my revenge feels enough.

Another friend I had and lost in high school I saw at the anime convention. Things were well with me telling my friends who she was quietly to match a face to the story until she spotted me. Fucking full on nonstop making out with her girlfriend in a line then.

She was wearing ugly sweet Lolita too. ew.
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You're a lezbo?
 
*Asterisk* said:
You're a lezbo?
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...It took me a minute to realize my English skills are 100% ass. Her fucking girlfriend was ugly, hell no. She started making out with her girlfriend when she noticed I had been with my friends and I was so confused.

I still like me some pussy and dick though.
 
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~*dank meme*~ said:
...It took me a minute to realize my English skills are 100% ass. Her fucking girlfriend was ugly, hell no. She started making out with her girlfriend when she noticed I had been with my friends and I was so confused.
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English isn't your native language?

~*dank meme*~ said:
I still like me some pussy and dick though.
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As God intended. It's hot when you're a chick.
 
I feel kinda down right now. I just got word that a bit of freelance work I've been doing for the past two years has ended. The person I was working with, a Danish author, wrote to me with this...

Each year I have a visit by an American. He works as a teacher in the LA area. This year I asked him to have a look at your accomplishments.
His reaction was immidiate.
'This isn't proper English'.
'No American would say that'.
'This guy doesn't know his grammar'.
I asked if I had been unlucky getting in contact with you.
'I wouldn't say that. Half of the population don't know the English language properly anyway'.

Just kinda feeling rather depressed to find that out (and I used to get A's in English classes). I'm out another source of income for the moment unless something else shows up.
 
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Once upon a time, a family adopted a dog. They decided to train the dog, as these pets are naturally unsanitary and stupid. "Sit, boy!" And the dog sat, so good! "Fetch, boy!" The bored teen cashiering at the pet store had recommended a cheap, wafer-thin ping pong ball to play with, and it splintered in the dogs mouth as soon as it picked it up. The dog returned it, because it is a good dog, but they paid no mind that the ball was now broken and sprinkled with blood. What did it matter? The game was more important, of course, and that man was a professional! "Fetch, boy!" The dog, naturally fearing pain, brought back a nice tennis ball instead.

"No, you dumb dog! You can't do that, you are supposed to listen! Dumb dog!" They threw the broken ball again. The dog brought back a tennis ball, again. The family took it away, and yet the dog managed to find new ones everywhere it went. The family grew angry and started slapping it out of the dogs' sore mouth, shoving in the broken ball and cutting and scratching more every time.

Eventually, the dog didn't want to play fetch. The very word made the dog cower, whimper, growl and bite. The family wailed. "What have we done wrong? Why is he acting this way?" By this time, the dogs mouth and tongue were scarred, hardly functional - he couldn't eat. "Just eat the stupid food, you dumb dog!" They screamed through their tears, shoving the dogs' head in its food bowl in childish incomprehension. The dog ran away. The family blamed the dog for running, and learned nothing.
 
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~*dank meme*~ said:
I'm currently tipsy, bordering on drunk and having no idea on how i'm composing sentences correctly enough.
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Hopefully you'll pull through.

As for me, I found out my number wasn't called, so no jury duty for me (for now)!
 
I never have anything funny, witty, insightful, intelligent, or worthwhile to say.

I love this thread.
 
Trilby said:
Hopefully you'll pull through.

As for me, I found out my number wasn't called, so no jury duty for me (for now)!
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Awesome.

I was very, very on my way to getting wasted with a friend earlier. I ended up ranting about guy friend and realized i was essentially led on and he pulled a bait and switch and now i want to throw rocks at him. He's been ignoring me extra hard. I regret being gross and taking the opportunity we had alone to make our saturday way better than it was going. Oh well. I got to drunkenly rant about shit and so did my friend. Turns out it's pretty fun to drink when you've got someone there to drink with .

Pro tip: If you're a weak little shit like me, three cups of long island iced tea ain't for you.
 
~*dank meme*~ said:
Awesome.

I was very, very on my way to getting wasted with a friend earlier. I ended up ranting about guy friend and realized i was essentially led on and he pulled a bait and switch and now i want to throw rocks at him. He's been ignoring me extra hard. I regret being gross and taking the opportunity we had alone to make our saturday way better than it was going. Oh well. I got to drunkenly rant about shit and so did my friend. Turns out it's pretty fun to drink when you've got someone there to drink with .

Pro tip: If you're a weak little shit like me, three cups of long island iced tea ain't for you.
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Glad I don't drink then.
 
My power went out for about 20 seconds earlier. It was really weird, it's not storming or anything and the street lamps in my neighborhood are still out.

Definitely gonna leave some lights on tonight, I don't like this at all.
 
Finally fixed my vacuum cleaner and tidied up the floors. Instant satisfaction.
 
I get to go to Hershey Park tomorrow. Yaaaaaay.

edit: not only do i get to go tomorrow, i get to meet an online friend i've known for quite a while now. we've lived in neighboring states and all it took to get us to readily meet is knowing he lives 20 minutes away from the park! i'm so excited.
 
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