- Joined
- Jan 11, 2018
I've decided that my ideal retirement is to sit in a rocking chair on a porch of a little house tucked away in the mountains. I'll have a bucket for my chaw aside me at all times, and a break-open shotgun on my lap that I'll use to show rustlers off my property. If I make enough money, I'll buy an M1921 Thompson submachine gun for more than one rustler. I will only wear suspenders to hold up pants that go up past my sternum, and I'll never listen to anyone who tells me to undo my collar button. I'll speak an obscure, dead hillbilly dialect with holdover colonial slang and nobody will understand anything I say for the last ten years of my life. I'll also buy a car that I never actually use, and just have my children run every errand for me. I'll mutter to myself most of the day and compare everything current to "back in my day". Whenever I run into black people, I'll ask them of their last name and then inquire which white family gave them that name. When I talk about concerts with people, I'll reference how I used to go see E.P. Christy's Minstrels and Ethiopian Serenaders live shows. In my will, I'll insist to be buried in the family mausoleum even though there is no such thing, and I'll insist that my children convert to Protestantism although I was never actually religious throughout my life.
i think ive had a few too many and ive fucked my schedule again. good thing i work for myself
i think ive had a few too many and ive fucked my schedule again. good thing i work for myself
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