The (likely redundant) Chris and Work thread

[NavierStoked]

Chris could be a Wal-Mart greeter. Wal-Mart always puts the oldest people or mentally challenge so people think they are kind corporate citizens. Heck, Charb could tag team it together!

They could pay him in Legos.

 

[qld]

doesn't matter, McDonalds can't take EBT

Yeah, I was going to ask about the movement to allow hot food purchases on EBT. Last I heard you had to be homeless or the like, but it was happening. Like it really matters--they spend the first part of the month's social security eating McDonald's, and the second half eating Doritos and Pizza Rolls. We really got one over on them, didn't we?

 

[theobservdr]

yea the EBT can't be used on fast food, if he gets a check or a deposit, then its easier since with the card, they won't really accept it once they see its an EBT card

 

[normankrasner]

Chris could be a Wal-Mart greeter. Wal-Mart always puts the oldest people or mentally challenge so people think they are kind corporate citizens. Heck, Charb could tag team it together!

Wal-Mart, Target, Best Buy, or any other store that hired him would then fire him for employee theft

 

[scxthursday]

Chris could be a Wal-Mart greeter. Wal-Mart always puts the oldest people or mentally challenge so people think they are kind corporate citizens. Heck, Charb could tag team it together!

That would be a horrible idea, but it would be entertaining when OPL manages to get himself suspended/fired for getting pissed of at one of the customers for buying a Sea Cow. The first words to said customer would probably be, " OPL's thought process - They only had one Metalbeards Sea Cow on the shelves, and were on backorder until next week.* What OPL would say to the customer: "That LEGO you have in your hands belongs to me!!! Walmart basically promised it to me when they hired me. CURSE-YE-HA-MAY-HA!!!!!! Enjoy you bad luck you DANG, DIRTY, JERK, TROLL!!!!" After his boss finds out the events of the incident above, and OPL gets pulled into his bosses office, he will probably re-create the infamous scene that took place in Mary Lee Walshs' office. Once he gets on FB to whine and cry about something that is his fault, he will demand everyone get him a new job, and start to blame it on the usual suspects of course, the bitch, the witch, the bastard, and the GOD DAMNED JEW SNYDER!!!!

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Chris could be a Wal-Mart greeter. Wal-Mart always puts the oldest people or mentally challenge so people think they are kind corporate citizens. Heck, Charb could tag team it together!

I think greeting is left to friendly senile senior citizens... they wouldn't let a freak like Chris talk to customers. This guy was a cart wrangler so the smell could be kept out of the store. He also told some girl I went to HS with that she was beautiful so he was going to kidnap her and keep her in his basement. Chris was never that creepy and corporations will put up with a lot of shit to weasel out of paying taxes.

 

[scxthursday]

Yeah, I was going to ask about the movement to allow hot food purchases on EBT. Last I heard you had to be homeless or the like, but it was happening.

What I don't understand is back when Bob put OPL on the tugboat, why didn't he also file for food stamps??? The only requirement for EBT/Food Stamps is if you're low income (see OPL's reasoning as to what the word "debt" means), or you don't have a fixed source of income ((such as a job, seeing as OPL has successfully been fired from Cutco, and Wendy's (I feel sorry for the customers that ate in the restaurant when OPL was working there. He probably forced the customers to listen to his Donald Duck imitation, whether they wanted to hear him do it or not, there is no such thing as freedom of choice when dealing with him) should not have any effect on OPL gaining food stamps/ebt, however, the government may give him a low balance every month due to the tugboat)), or you have to be homeless. This should not interfere with OPL receiving the tugboat every month. Knowing how stupid OPL is, he would probably try to purchase LEGOS with EBT, not realizing that EBT was specifically designed so that you can get items to help you survive.

Because it's Chris and he's applying for a job?

Marvin, I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't understand the concept of "dressing to impress" for a job interview. It is very possible that in Chris' mind he thinks business professional = "I can wear whatever the fuck I want to because I'm my own free bitch, damn haters on the left." That concept is foreign to him. Look what he wore to his college graduation and compare his dumb ass to everyone standing around him, probably laughing their asses of at the gay pose he is doing for the camera.

 

[Blueberry]

Some people are really emotionally invested into Chris. It's fascinating.

 

[normankrasner]

What I don't understand is back when Bob put OPL on the tugboat, why didn't he also file for food stamps??? The only requirement for EBT/Food Stamps is if you're low income (see OPL's reasoning as to what the word "debt" means), or you don't have a fixed source of income ((such as a job, seeing as OPL has successfully been fired from Cutco, and Wendy's (I feel sorry for the customers that ate in the restaurant when OPL was working there. He probably forced the customers to listen to his Donald Duck imitation, whether they wanted to hear him do it or not, there is no such thing as freedom of choice when dealing with him) should not have any effect on OPL gaining food stamps/ebt, however, the government may give him a low balance every month due to the tugboat)), or you have to be homeless. This should not interfere with OPL receiving the tugboat every month. Knowing how stupid OPL is, he would probably try to purchase LEGOS with EBT, not realizing that EBT was specifically designed so that you can get items to help you survive.

EBT can't be used on fast food but it can still be used on junk food

 

[Marvin]

Marvin, I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't understand the concept of "dressing to impress" for a job interview. It is very possible that in Chris' mind he thinks business professional = "I can wear whatever the fuck I want to because I'm my own free bitch, damn haters on the left." That concept is foreign to him. Look what he wore to his college graduation and compare his dumb ass to everyone standing around him, probably laughing their asses of at the gay pose he is doing for the camera.

Why do you think Chris would be applying for a job in the first place? How do you think that would happen?

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

In a sense, Chris is currently applying for a job in the realest way Chris would ever apply for a job: He's demanding $1,000 in exchange for some crayon scribbled on a napkin.

Think about it. That really is a "job" as far as he accepts the concept.

 

[Thelostcup]

Even if he does get a job, he probably wouldn't understand or be willing to learn about a certain thing called "income tax".

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

I highly doubt Fatty would ever be in a position where Income Tax would be a concern of his.

 

[Strelok]

I highly doubt Fatty would ever be in a position where Income Tax would be a concern of his.

Well technically it would, because of automatic withholdings, which means by forgetting to ever file his taxes, he'd be getting trolled by the IRS by never collecting all his refund money. Which with the type of work he'd be capable of would be a not-so-insignificant chunk.

 

[qld]

What I don't understand is back when Bob put OPL on the tugboat, why didn't he also file for food stamps??? The only requirement for EBT/Food Stamps is if you're low income (see OPL's reasoning as to what the word "debt" means), or you don't have a fixed source of income ((such as a job, seeing as OPL has successfully been fired from Cutco, and Wendy's (I feel sorry for the customers that ate in the restaurant when OPL was working there. He probably forced the customers to listen to his Donald Duck imitation, whether they wanted to hear him do it or not, there is no such thing as freedom of choice when dealing with him) should not have any effect on OPL gaining food stamps/ebt, however, the government may give him a low balance every month due to the tugboat)), or you have to be homeless. This should not interfere with OPL receiving the tugboat every month. Knowing how stupid OPL is, he would probably try to purchase LEGOS with EBT, not realizing that EBT was specifically designed so that you can get items to help you survive.

Food stamps are for the household, not one individual person. This means combined incomes and allowed expenses for everyone living together is considered before awarding stamps. Now it was possible to say Chris doesn't eat with Bob and Barb, and now just Barb, but that is complicated and would likely be a lie, since I'm sure he shares groceries with Barb. You'd also need to get constructive on Chris paying his share of utilities and rent, and claim that on the food stamp application.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

The maximum amount a family of two under SNAP is $347 which is probably less considering Barb probably pulls in a pension of some sort. Even at the maximum, that's less than $12 a day. Chris needs more food than that to keep his heart level up.