The Most Washed Up Artists

[Trimalchio]

Grimes' music and live shows have been consistently terrible for the last 5 years, at least. I even thought "Art Angels" in 2015 was a bad sign. Seems she'd rather be Elon's baby mama than make music these days.

 

[Jace on ice]

I'd say The Offspring. "Let The Bad Times Roll" is probably the worst album I've listened to in the last five years and probably ranks up there in the list of worst comeback albums.

There's nothing sadder than an aging punker.

 

[The Rat KIng]

not that they were ever "in" but Bad Religion. "the kids are alt-right" is like the funniest music video ever, in the vein of that "I'm a Beta" song.

 

[tehpope]

Madonna after 2006. Confessions on a Dancefloor or whatever was her last good record. Not that i've hear them all.

The man formerly known as Kanye West, now known as a NAZI.

Idk if Ye is washed up. More like burnt out. I think since Life of Pablo. Though I've never gotten around to check out Kids see ghosts or the other albums he made around then. People like Donda and Donda II. Vultures as well. But that last album where he used AI vocals for himself wasn't a good sign. HH is a good track. He can still produce. But I feel like he needs to disappear and get his head right. For real and not just go off his meds again.

 

[No-Eyed Square Guy]

not that they were ever "in" but Bad Religion. "the kids are alt-right" is like the funniest music video ever, in the vein of that "I'm a Beta" song.

They've been washed up since they re-recorded "21st Century Digital Boy." They were already on an artistic decline (nothing after No Control is actually good) but that's when it became embarrassing that they still exist. Thirty years ago!

Thread is full of dudes (and Madonna) who are just old and confused. Who's only 40 and already lost it? Arctic Monkeys, I've heard, but I've been ignoring them for fifteen years already.

 

[Nice Comoesta]

Motley Crüe

Came here to say this. Live Wire makes me want to grab my skateboard again, Kickstart my Heart WILL be playing when I die in a car accident, but GOD, you couldnt pay me to sit through Cancelled..

 

[Dysnomia]

Madonna. Ozzy Osbourne has been looking like a fool and lipsynching weak ass songs for the past 20+ years.

Madonna for sure. Please hang it up Grandma. Or at least class yourself up some. You can't pretend it's the Justify My Love era forever.

I still can't believe Ozzy is retiring for real. If it wasn't for the Parkinson's I think Sharon would have him up on stage until his bones crumbled to dust. He's been a marionette for so long now. If that were me I'd just have gone into other interests long ago.

Motley Crue. Glam metal gasped its last breaths around 1990-91 but they're still around and looking like hell (I give Mick a pass because of his spinal condition, and the fact he's well over 70 by now). Vince is unrecognizable.

Vince Meal is a McD's addict and drinks too much. Hence his bloated appearance. Even when he lost weight he was still fat as fuck. Not staying in reasonable shape can really mess up your image. He sings like every other word because he's so out of breath. They use a lot of canned audio too. When you can't sing and can barely breathe it's time to say farewell. I believe that he literally doesn't give a fuck about his health at all. I'm surprised he isn't bigger than he is.

 

[Spunt]

Lacuna Coil. They were such a cool band for the first 3 albums then they signed with Sony and got Linkin Park's old producer dropped on them and everything went to shit. They're still putting albums out and changing their image every 2 years but nobody cares any more. Cristina Scabbia doesn't age though, she may be a witch.

Katie Perry. Just give it a rest already.

Of course the most washed band are Trapt. Still coasting on that one song from 2003 that nobody really liked but got lots of radio play. They now play dive bars while Chris Taylor Brown fights with trolls on Facebook.

 

[urr13 account]

Madonna

beyond washed-up, she seems to have evolved into some kind of cryptid

 

[Hentai-Semitism]

Andrew Eldritch from The Sisters Of Mercy is probably a good candidate. TSOM only released 3 studio albums 1985, 1987 and 1990. Since then I guess Eldritch has been super salty about his experience with the music business and only played new material on stage. I saw a video from their gig a few years ago and it was really sad. He was fat and bald and didn't look like he was even trying.

 

[JudyTester]

How about Iggy Azalea? She's spent the decade after "Fancy" trying and failing to stay relevant, and now she's resorting to pushing a memecoin, whoring herself out on OnlyFans and running a virtual strip club and gambling house.

Of course she has always sucked, but at least she was once relevant.

I always mix her up with Azalea Banks, who is also super terrible and only does dumb shit for attention. So I guess it doesn't matter.

Andrew Eldritch from The Sisters Of Mercy is probably a good candidate. TSOM only released 3 studio albums 1985, 1987 and 1990. Since then I guess Eldritch has been super salty about his experience with the music business and only played new material on stage. I saw a video from their gig a few years ago and it was really sad. He was fat and bald and didn't look like he was even trying.

You beat me to it. After an adolescent obsessed with the Sisters, they finally left Australia and I got to go see them in 2023. Worst concert in my life. He was so drunk he couldn't remember most of the songs and the beleaguered guitarist did his absolute best to keep them going. We got a 6-minute long medley of three songs that should have been 20+ minutes total. They literally tied his hotel lanyard to his belt so that he didn't lose it, he was so drunk.

 

[Hentai-Semitism]

I always mix her up with Azalea Banks, who is also super terrible and only does dumb shit for attention. So I guess it doesn't matter.


You beat me to it. After an adolescent obsessed with the Sisters, they finally left Australia and I got to go see them in 2023. Worst concert in my life. He was so drunk he couldn't remember most of the songs and the beleaguered guitarist did his absolute best to keep them going. We got a 6-minute long medley of three songs that should have been 20+ minutes total. They literally tied his hotel lanyard to his belt so that he didn't lose it, he was so drunk.

What a shame. I really like Floodland even though I seldom listen to that kind of music.

On a related note, I was listening to an old Swedish metal band called Edge Of Sanity the other day and smirked when this song came up ("what does that remind me of?")

I like songs that are very clearly tributes, but not straight up covers.

 

[FieldPiece]

Modest Mouse, everything after No One's First And You're Next has been insanely uninspired. I think they went downhill when Isaac got off drugs and Johnny Marr joined. Even after they stopped putting out AOTYs like Moon and Antarctica and or Lonesome Crowded West they were still putting out ok if much safer stuff. Strangers To Ourselves and The Golden Casket are just plain boring.

 

[tehpope]

Katie Perry. Just give it a rest already.

Katy Perry is a piece of shit. No surprise since most celebs are POS'.

 

[DoomsdayElite]

Madonna for sure. Please hang it up Grandma. Or at least class yourself up some. You can't pretend it's the Justify My Love era forever.

I still can't believe Ozzy is retiring for real. If it wasn't for the Parkinson's I think Sharon would have him up on stage until his bones crumbled to dust. He's been a marionette for so long now. If that were me I'd just have gone into other interests long ago.



Vince Meal is a McD's addict and drinks too much. Hence his bloated appearance. Even when he lost weight he was still fat as fuck. Not staying in reasonable shape can really mess up your image. He sings like every other word because he's so out of breath. They use a lot of canned audio too. When you can't sing and can barely breathe it's time to say farewell. I believe that he literally doesn't give a fuck about his health at all. I'm surprised he isn't bigger than he is.

He also lost a child really young, if I remember correctly. She was only four or five. It wouldn't be hard to stop caring after that.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

No Doubt. Gwen got so far up her own ass it ruined the band. She fucked her face up too.

Madonna after 2005 is a disaster. She cannot embrace getting older because she's desperate to retain her youth. It is sad. You can only reinvent yourself so much.

Someone who is not washed up is Kate Bush. I would argue she has it even worse because the British tabloids are absolutely ruthless about her not being the thin fairy waif she used to be. It's stupid because
A. She isn't gonna look exactly how she looked in the 70s.
B. She had a son in the late 1990s and disappeared from the media to raise him.
C. She's seen in town. Her neighbors are friendly with her and respect her privacy. She asks not to be photographed. Last pics of her are from 10 years ago.
D. Yeah she gained weight but she's not 200 pounds. I challenge anyone to do the record breaking tour she did in 2014 and walk away perfectly. It is exhausting to do a big production like that.

I think her not engaging with the media is honestly a good thing. She doesn't wanna deal with the bullshit, nor would we want her to.

Circling back to Madonna.....after 2005 she basically kept being messier and messier. I really think the Malawi trip fucked her up.

Another washed up musician? Axel Rose. Mike Love. Maybe David Hasselhoff.

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

Eminem has been edging to getting washed up for a good while.

I still love that he destroyed Machine Gun Kelly so much that he had to switch between genres of music though.

 

[The Rat KIng]

Andrew Eldritch from The Sisters Of Mercy is probably a good candidate. TSOM only released 3 studio albums 1985, 1987 and 1990. Since then I guess Eldritch has been super salty about his experience with the music business and only played new material on stage. I saw a video from their gig a few years ago and it was really sad. He was fat and bald and didn't look like he was even trying.

I thought Andrew was died. but I guess that is the peak of washed up.

 

[Zoosadist sadist]

Gloryhammer. They used to be a great if cheesey power metal band, but ever since their frontman left the quality fell downhill. If you only heard their newest song you'd never understand why people liked them. Unfortunately the frontman ended up making his own band which to be quite honest isn't as good as gloryhammer at its peak but I'm glad they're wrecking new gloryhammer in views.

 

[The Hardest R]

Madonna. Ozzy Osbourne has been looking like a fool and lipsynching weak ass songs for the past 20+ years.

Blame his Jewish wife. Ozzy wanted to retire after No More Tears, which would’ve been a great point to retire. She’s the one primarily responsible for everything thereafter: Ozzfest, that godawful tv show, nonstop “final” tours, albums that are trash, etc.