The NFL Thread - Root for your favorite team (or laugh at the Browns, whichever's easier)

[HackerX]

You say this, but Green Bay Wisconsin loves niggers that make them money.

Yeah, but the good ones on the field are honorary hwite men.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

You say this, but Green Bay Wisconsin loves niggers that make them money.

Green Bay has a way of taking the black out of their best athletes while they are at the peak of their game. Its very much a nice midwestern town where every nice person goes out of their way to help the super star athlete to make sure they are comfortable living there. As soon as you start to suck though...

 

[Americunt]

As someone who knows nothing about football, can someone explain to me what made the recent feature noteworthy? Not trying to be pithy, I really have no frame of reference on any of this. I'm assuming it's because the money he's making but I thought that being overpaid to play sportsball was the norm.

I think it's really funny @Trombonista thought a front page feature for this trade would go over well with all the "Sportsball sux!" faggots on this website, but yes it is a massive trade Micah Parsons is like one of 5 good players the Cowboys have, and he's going to a team that really needs defensive pieces.

The contract number is a nothing burger really, every big player gets paid "the most for a non QB" everytime because the going rate goes up every time someone inks a new deal, because the NFL's salary cap is predicated on a model of infinite growth, which at least in the age of streaming is a good bet because everyone and their mother is throwing money at Roger Goddell to snag an exclusive game for their streaming service these day. Shit I'd be surprised if there wasn't a TUBI exclusive Wednsday night football game sometime in the future with how things are going.

 

[Hunter Hearst Helmsley]

I think Jerruh shipped him to Green Bay because he thinks it's the 90s and a place players intentionally avoid, which is still kinda true to an extent. But not anywhere close to the dawn of free agency in the 90s.

Repeating myself here, but this is Reggie White leaving the Eagles all over again. One of the biggest players of all time left for Green Bay because of a ridiculous owner and the Packers have been a competitive franchise ever since. They just reloaded for at least one more serious run. Letting this kind of player go to an NFC competitor who have been a thorn in the Cowboys side over and over is just a complete clusterfuck. In NFL terms this is a historical level lolcow moment.

 

[Froggy Fresh Sextape]

What tops ot off is that super mega goes against the NFLPA and CBA because the owner isn't supposed to bypass the agent and negotiate directly with the player.

With the added bonus of Dez Bryant and Tony Romo coming out and saying yeah Jerry just does that.

The funniest outcome would be the Cowboys losing draft picks over this.

 

[Magic Sun Daddy]

I think it's really funny @Trombonista thought a front page feature for this trade would go over well with all the "Sportsball sux!" faggots on this website, but yes it is a massive trade Micah Parsons is like one of 5 good players the Cowboys have, and he's going to a team that really needs defensive pieces.

The contract number is a nothing burger really, every big player gets paid "the most for a non QB" everytime because the going rate goes up every time someone inks a new deal, because the NFL's salary cap is predicated on a model of infinite growth, which at least in the age of streaming is a good bet because everyone and their mother is throwing money at Roger Goddell to snag an exclusive game for their streaming service these day. Shit I'd be surprised if there wasn't a TUBI exclusive Wednsday night football game sometime in the future with how things are going.

Okay. I think I get what you're saying but... I'm still confused as how him getting traded is feature worthy. I went ape shit as a boxing when Oleksandr Usyk made boxing history by being the second man to be undisputed champ in two weight classes, but it would've been silly of me to ask a mod to feature that news when it happened. Granted, boxing isn't quite on the same level as football in terms of cultural resonance in America, but still.

 

[Dagger Dragger]

So anyone commenting on what a stupid feature that was got their comments removed, huh?

It's still the worst feature. Eat shit, jannies.

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

uming. My post with the picture of Dale Gribble screaming (one of the most updooted ) as well as the person who posted the very funny soyjak KF player both got deleted lmao

They all got deleted.
Please understand the NFL is going through a sensitive time. Watchers are getting in touch with their womanly emotions as queers and troons dance and parade in cheerleader outfits on the field and players take the knee for the national black anthem in endzones that read, "REPARATIONS NOW!"

We're all a little bit gayer and obviously better for it.

Perhaps we can replace "HUT HUT HIKE" with "HRT HRT NOW!" and "BLUE 42 BLUE 62!" With things like, "41% 41%"

 

[R9K Insurgent]

They all got deleted.
Please understand the NFL is going through a sensitive time. Watchers are getting in touch with their womanly emotions as queers and troons dance and parade in cheerleader outfits on the field and players take the knee for the national black anthem in endzones that read, "REPARATIONS NOW!"

We're all a little bit gayer and obviously better for it.

Perhaps we can replace "HUT HUT HIKE" with "HRT HRT NOW!" and "BLUE 42 BLUE 62!" With things like, "41% 41%"

I couldn't agree more

 

[Kornheiser]

People actually think the cowboys won this trade because two first round picks are going to get generational talent. Some people at work also side with jerrruh because he’s rich so his decisions are right.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Antonio Brown would probably make for a good thread

He has a thread here.

💼 Careercow Thread 'Antonio Brown / AB / AB84 / "Mr. Big Chest"'

Jul 7, 2023

​

Antonio Tavaris Brown Sr. (July 10, 1988), also known as AB, is a former NFL wide receiver and current trainwreck. While regarded as one of the greatest WRs of the 2010s, his accomplishments on the field have been greatly overshadowed by controversy after controversy.

Pittsburgh Steelers​

Brown was drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers in the sixth round of the 2010 NFL Draft. Things went well for him for the first few seasons, with many achievements and little to no drama prior to the 2016 season. The...

• Trombonista
• Replies: 249
• Forum: Lolcows

Reactions: x 25 x 28 x 15 x 3 x 2 x 4

Is this one of those random features to distract everyone from three death headlines in one month

Fear not.......................it will be in the next grizzle plightsperg filing.

The amount of rage in this thread reminds me of the rage I caught when I pointed out a stupid movie about a KPOP band killing demons became the most streamed movie in history and also became the only movie in history to place four consecutive billboard top 10s.

I thought this thread got moved to the DSP subforum for a minute.

 

[Leaf Wage Slave Jr]

Okay. I think I get what you're saying but... I'm still confused as how him getting traded is feature worthy

I just assumed it was for a light hearted “Laugh at something THAT retarded” Feature, after we had at least 2 different Lolcow Deaths be Featured in the last week.

It just didn’t go over well, because like every other thread that gets Featured, it just brings in everyone to shit up the thread for a few days.

 

[Froggy Fresh Sextape]

It just didn’t go over well, because like every other thread that gets Featured, it just brings in everyone to shit up the thread for a few days.

This site attracts retards who, if left in a room alone, would start slamming their heads against the wall for some sort of stimulus

e: actually, Aaron Hernandez was the same way. hmm.

 

[parody]

It is funny to see so many nerds sperg out and have such a viscerally hostile reaction to anything sports related on their website, you'd think half of the users on this site had their families murdered by high school athletes or something.

 

[Froggy Fresh Sextape]

It is funny to see so many nerds sperg out and have such a viscerally hostile reaction to anything sports related on their website, you'd think half of the users on this site had their families murdered by high school athletes or something.

ummm all the popular kids were talkin about sportsball this sportsball that and were never interested in me talking about how the jews were replacing the white race

 

[Pomniman]

This site attracts retards who, if left in a room alone, would start slamming their heads against the wall for some sort of stimulus

e: actually, Aaron Hernandez was the same way. hmm.

My nigra in coors, you just described gayme night at an average sports bar.

 

[Squanto Airi]

ummm all the popular kids were talkin about sportsball this sportsball that and were never interested in me talking about how the jews were replacing the white race

Yeah, they don't glow at all with their constat talk of the Jews and doomposting.

 

[Vinluv Handesbukia]

Oh yay, another offtopic thread derailed because people have to state how superior they are for not watching [insert show/anime/sport here] and would rather have the features either be doomposting about [Jews/Moslems/Browns/Faggots/etc]

You forgot to attach the gigachad image.

 

[InteracialBowelSyndrome]

People actually think the cowboys won this trade because two first round picks are going to get generational talent. Some people at work also side with jerrruh because he’s rich so his decisions are right.

Jerruh litterally did the meme in the press conference.

"The picks could be anything! It could even be an elite Defensive Tackle! You know how we always wanted one of those!"

 

[Drama Fan]

Despite the funny memes of Micah Parsons tearing the 11 off of my favorite totally going to break out in a bit receiver Jaden Reed's back, Micah will be #1.

Antonio Brown would probably make for a good thread

AB has had a thread! Sports lolcows are so underrepresented that people just assume we don't have threads. Some NEEEEERD on MATI was even bitching about there not being F1 drama featured while simultaneously being mad that NFL shit was once. Sports enjoyers probably could be more represented if people took the time to write up and post stuff like we do about internet weirdos.

I just assumed it was for a light hearted “Laugh at something THAT retarded” Feature, after we had at least 2 different Lolcow Deaths be Featured in the last week.

I feel bad that @Trombonista got so much shit for this, but most KF users have the same relationship with sports as /r/atheism redditors who hate their parents and jocks because they're too enlightened to be into sports. You'd think people who enjoy internet weirdos, anime, v-tubers, video games and video game tournaments, ect would be a little open minded, but brainlets cannot see past aesthetic differences. The aesthetics of viewing sports means it must be bad (jock-coded) vs e-sports being good (nerd-coded) to the brainlet who still tries to see the world through that mental dichotomy ; it's just like people who can't help but see certain issues as left vs right-coded politically and instantly decided that they're good/bad based on that.