The NFL Thread - Root for your favorite team (or laugh at the Browns, whichever's easier)

[Leaf Wage Slave Jr]

I’m just amused at how, despite all the chaos of the last 48 hours, dem Cowboys have done fuck all beyond resigning… someone, it’s the Cowboys who gives a shit.

Like, shit on my Commies and Raiders as I do, my teams are bad, but at least they’re doing things - what, did Jerrah have one too many January Collapses that he finally gave up?

 

[Absolutego]

I’m just amused at how, despite all the chaos of the last 48 hours, dem Cowboys have done fuck all beyond resigning… someone, it’s the Cowboys who gives a shit.

Like, shit on my Commies and Raiders as I do, my teams are bad, but at least they’re doing things - what, did Jerrah have one too many January Collapses that he finally gave up?

Lowkey I think they're getting constantly outbid.
Jerruh desperately wants to go all-in but that Dak contract and their perennial tendency to flame out in embarrassing fashion every January is starting to cost them.

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

Lowkey I think they're getting constantly outbid.
Jerruh desperately wants to go all-in but that Dak contract and their perennial tendency to flame out in embarrassing fashion every January is starting to cost them.

Let's be real here, we all know the Cowboys aren't a football franchise. Yes, they are a football team that plays in the NFL, but they are not a football franchise. The Cowboys are an all-encompassing tourist attraction that has not been a football franchise for close to 30 years. Jerry Jones is an embarrassment of an owner and I believe has set the Dallas Cowboys back constantly whenever they begin to show any semblance of competitive playing. Just the fact that a former player, Dalton Shultz, is calling the culture a zoo and talking about that creepy one way mirror training room is all I need to know about how Jerry Jones sees the Cowboys. They are a brand, nothing more and nothing less, which is exactly what Jerry wants. There's a reason we all call the stadium Jerry World.

Until Jerry Jones dies, the Cowboys will always be this way. And even then I'm not sure they'll be able to dig themselves out of the hole Jerry has made for them.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

I’m just amused at how, despite all the chaos of the last 48 hours, dem Cowboys have done fuck all beyond resigning… someone, it’s the Cowboys who gives a shit.

Like, shit on my Commies and Raiders as I do, my teams are bad, but at least they’re doing things - what, did Jerrah have one too many January Collapses that he finally gave up?

I bet they have a serious cap hit that is coming up and are just hoping that Jerrah can work some draft magic like Jimmy Johnson did in the late 80s and early 90s to somehow save them.

Let's be real here, we all know the Cowboys aren't a football franchise. Yes, they are a football team that plays in the NFL, but they are not a football franchise. The Cowboys are an all-encompassing tourist attraction that has not been a football franchise for close to 30 years. Jerry Jones is an embarrassment of an owner and I believe has set the Dallas Cowboys back constantly whenever they begin to show any semblance of competitive playing. Just the fact that a former player, Dalton Shultz, is calling the culture a zoo and talking about that creepy one way mirror training room is all I need to know about how Jerry Jones sees the Cowboys. They are a brand, nothing more and nothing less, which is exactly what Jerry wants. There's a reason we all call the stadium Jerry World.

Until Jerry Jones dies, the Cowboys will always be this way. And even then I'm not sure they'll be able to dig themselves out of the hole Jerry has made for them.

Literally this. Cowboys fans only realize this when their team gets humiliated in the playoffs every year and when they don't do shit in the offseason. Come training camp, they will be back on the bandwagon thinking they are going to win the Super Bowl because they play pathetic franchises in the Giants and Redskins twice a year so can just pencil in winning seasons basically

 

[Brainybumpz]

I bet they have a serious cap hit that is coming up and are just hoping that Jerrah can work some draft magic like Jimmy Johnson did in the late 80s and early 90s to somehow save them.




Literally this. Cowboys fans only realize this when their team gets humiliated in the playoffs every year and when they don't do shit in the offseason. Come training camp, they will be back on the bandwagon thinking they are going to win the Super Bowl because they play pathetic franchises in the Giants and Redskins twice a year so can just pencil in winning seasons basically

Granted, all that I'm about to say is extremely biased and basically shitposting since I'm a life long 49ers fan but I legit think the Cowboys have an ancient curse on them. Not sure if it's karma for that hootin and hollerin Jerry did towards the coloreds or what but fucking god!

With that said, my Niners got a fucking old man LB and traded for Collins at DT from Houston? Gay as FUCK

 

[BikeLock]

Granted, all that I'm about to say is extremely biased and basically shitposting since I'm a life long 49ers fan but I legit think the Cowboys have an ancient curse on them. Not sure if it's karma for that hootin and hollerin Jerry did towards the coloreds or what but fucking god!

With that said, my Niners got a fucking old man LB and traded for Collins at DT from Houston? Gay as FUCK

The lore is that Jerruh sold his soul for those 3 wins in the '90s, with the price he paid being his sanity, and then Cowboys fan's sanity, until he dies off, leaving the team with his son, who is just as retarded, and just as likely to make the same type of "deal" his dad did sometime in the next 10 years.

But hey, Cowboys fans have a three-peat to look forward to just as soon as Jerruh shuffles off this mortal coil, so you have that going for you, I guess!

 

[1Tonka_Truck]

The lore is that Jerruh sold his soul for those 3 wins in the '90s, with the price he paid being his sanity, and then Cowboys fan's sanity, until he dies off, leaving the team with his son, who is just as retarded,

He definitely sold something to somebody.

I said 'god, if you let me win this Super Bowl, I'll never ask for another one again'. I've been trying to back out on that deal ever since.

His soul and the eternal suffering of Cowboys fans seems like a deal the Devil would take.

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

Or... it could just be that Jerry Jones is a dementia-riddled lifelong alcoholic and that no one under him has the courage to tell him 'no'.

 

[Trombonista]

Calvin Ridley signed with the Titans, and for some fucking reason the Bears signed Brett Rypien.

 

[std::string]

I bet they have a serious cap hit that is coming up and are just hoping that Jerrah can work some draft magic like Jimmy Johnson did in the late 80s and early 90s to somehow save them.

They're in a position where they can keep Dak/Micah/CeeDee together but can't do much else. Jerruh is Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill at this point.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

They're in a position where they can keep Dak/Micah/CeeDee together but can't do much else. Jerruh is Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill at this point.

They were trash last year. Best idea is to let this squad age another year and lose some pieces as well. Brilliant move cowboys

 

[Fat Gay Riker]

Calvin Ridley signed with the Titans, and for some fucking reason the Bears signed Brett Rypien.

Chicago is a factory of sadness.
Sorry Browns fans, we are looting that like a Southside Chicago Target at 9pm.

 

[Franz Joseph]

Calvin Ridley signed with the Titans, and for some fucking reason the Bears signed Brett Rypien.

It's the Bears, mediocre to bad qb play is embedded in their DNA, so this move makes sense.

 

[TVB]

It's the Bears, mediocre to bad qb play is embedded in their DNA, so this move makes sense.

Chicago has made Detroit look like an actual professional city throughout a couple decades

 

[Trombonista]

Desmond Ridder and Sam Howell have been traded to the Cardinals and Seahawks respectively.

 

[1Tonka_Truck]

I'm several days late, but @Absolutego I wanted Tyler Lockett back. I had some hope when they forcibly retired Carroll, but no.

 

[Clanner Scum]

No return on CMC, and no return on Brian Burns. Scott Fitterer should be taken to Carowinds and burned publicly in their little state line plaza. Fucker.

 

[The Demon Pimp of Razgriz]

The Saints have reportedly marked Michael Thomas as a post-June 1 cut. On the other hand, the Saints have signed Nathan Peterman as QB, probably to backup Derek Carr. Meanwhile, Andrus Peat couldn't reach a deal with the Saints for a contract extension prior to a deadline Wednesday, thus costing the Saints at least $13,638,000 in dead money, though, as a silver lining, this doesn't actually effect the Saints cap situation, since that dead money had already been factored in.

 

[Absolutego]

I'm several days late, but @Absolutego I wanted Tyler Lockett back. I had some hope when they forcibly retired Carroll, but no.

John Schneider can be confusing sometimes (I have absolutely no idea what we're planning at linebacker and increasingly think he's banking on drafting another Bobby Wagner this spring, which is lunacy) but he was never going to let the best WR we've had since Largent leave the building in free agency.
Tyler will play for the Seahawks until he retires sometime in his early 40's.

 

[1Tonka_Truck]

but he was never going to let the best WR we've had since Largent leave the building in free agency.
Tyler will play for the Seahawks until he retires sometime in his early 40's.

I was banking on the Seahawks not having the cap to keep him. You're really killing my dream of playing for KSU and the Chiefs becoming a Lockett family tradition.