The NFL Thread - Root for your favorite team (or laugh at the Browns, whichever's easier)

[W00K #17]

My little favorite corner of the forum is now featured and being raped by rage. Yes, it is niggerball. But I like to watch it. It's fun to watch.
Kiwifarmers are the tush push I cannot stop, please have mercy.
Go Texans...
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Jerruh has access to life-extending technology and will still somehow be around for the next 10-15 years.
Jerry's past experience with good, possibly standout D-Linemen have been D. Ware (good), D. Lawrence (also good), Randy Gregory (retard), and Parsons (we see what happens)
You can tell the vast differences on how those personalities are, so when Parson's agent told him to chimp out, Jerry got flashbacks and traded him.

Every Packer fan I have talked to made me believe Kenny Clark was like 35 years old. He's just been there for forever since he was young.

If you had asked me yesterday which threads I thought would never be featured, this one might have been at the top of the list.

 

[Gay Sex Enjoyer]

Based and cheesehead-pilled

 

[General Grievous]

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OH NO NO NO JERRUH WHAT IS YOU DOIN'?
My man played hardball and lost, bad.

The marks are supposedly supposed to represent sound waves, because we're loud.
Management would really like you to not notice how ever since we entered wildcard mediocrity while ticket prices skyrocketed the crowd looks as much like an away game as it does a home game and the 12s certainly aren't loud enough anymore to be a problem for visiting teams.

Hell yeah! Typical Packers W. Dallascels on suicide watch.

 

[Grotesque Bushes]

What does F in NFL stands for? Can't be football, football looks like this:
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I want to know what the N stands for

 

[SteinserGate]

If you had asked me yesterday which threads I thought would never be featured, this one might have been at the top of the list.

I also 100% thought this would never be featured. I actually saw a user here put it in community happenings, then it got removed.

 

[justwantedtoread]

I always thought that every state had its own team, it turns out thats not true and some states even have multiple. I just figured that there were teams that nobody talked about for some states because they were really bad, like the Nebraska Wombats or something like that.

Whats the worst team in NFL history?

I'm not sure if it's the worst city to ever have a team, but the Football Hall of Fame is in Canton, Ohio and Canton had a professional football team at one point. You know how the rest of the country jokes about Cleveland? Canton is like Cleveland's even more depressing younger brother.

 

[RetardedHunter]

I want to know what the N stands for

I would tell you but we are in polite company.




Aww what the hell, NIGGER!

 

[0 0]

I'm taking the feature down. I don't know why this was on the front page to begin with.

 

[RetardedHunter]

I'm taking the feature down. I don't know why this was on the front page to begin with.

Keep it up let both the normes and the niggerball fans suffer! Sneed. Drama fags forever!

 

[W00K #17]

I'm taking the feature down. I don't know why this was on the front page to begin with.

Check out this nerd right here!

 

[Manimal House]

*edited to reduce space*

WHY IS NIGGERBALL BEING FEATURED ON THE FRONT PAGE

People still get this intense over niggerball?

I see, instead of featuring the thread on the shooting done by a troon, we are instead featuring niggerball. Bravo work

Niggerball fans are literal cattle, usually fat drunken boomer slobs too, and deserve to hear it as often as possible.

My little favorite corner of the forum is now featured and being raped by rage. Yes, it is niggerball. But I like to watch it. It's fun to watch.

Keep it up let both the normes and the niggerball fans suffer! Sneed. Drama fags forever!

The NFL isn't niggerball. This is.

Jokes aside, if we're going by franchises it's the Cardinals, who are the oldest team by a fair margin and have absolutely nothing to show for it besides a Super Bowl appearance and wasting Larry Fitzgerald's career.

A BIRD HAHAHAHAHA A FUCKING BIRD HAHAHAHAHAHA THEIR MASCOT IS A FUCKING BIRD!

 

[parody]

Feature the thread you coward.

 

[justwantedtoread]

Niggerball is clearly the NBA, I don't even think they let white Americans play anymore, it's all either spades or Eurotrash. At least with the NFL the majority of Quarterbacks are still white.

 

[xX Puss Slayer Xx]

Viqueens were 3rd in sacks last year and have an absolute madman as DC in Flores
Packers were 8th in sacks last year and added Micah Parsons
Lions were 23rd in sacks but are getting back Aiden Hutchinson (who had 7.5 sacks in 5 games last year) and about 22 other players

Caleb Williams is going to fucking die.

 

[RetardedHunter]

*Snip*

Look, ladies, ladies
You are both niggerball.

Also lmao cardinals!

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

explain this in kiwifarms terms

Null could have finally gotten the gorl of his dreams, Chantal, but he had to swear off all cheese but cheddar cheese. And he got so mad he decided to trade her for Amber Lynn Reid 6 months before she dies and the potential to get another fat girl in the future

 

[Safir]

If someone featured the "My Little Pony gender-swap discussion: is a hypothetical male Twilight Sparkle more attractive than the canon female version or no" thread, it'd be reasonable to expect people to express their confusion and mild sniggering distaste for the subject matter.

Nah this is easily understandable to everyone. The meaning of the sentence is clear, and the purpose of the hypothetical feature is to come laugh at the autistic drama that's happening in the thread.

The Tranch, claiming they’re on the rise legitimately, traded the only good ranch hand they had to a group of c-tier alpacas farmers, as the old, decrepit leader of The Tranch, who only continues to live in spite of God, continues to kill any chance of success for The Tranch.

Thank you!

---
Now, a question:

so Jerry Jones, owner of Cowboys, traded a negro for another negro and what I assume are turns at choosing fresh negroes from the year's crop.
Where does the $188M salary enter into it?
Here's Yahoo Sports:

It didn’t take long for star defender Micah Parsons to learn of his new destination, moving on from the Dallas Cowboys to the Green Bay Packers.

What it implies is Jerry Jones told Parsons, "I've traded you, you will now be playing for this other team."

Why is Parsons entitled to say, "I want more money"? What if the Packers refused to pay him more money? Does that mean Parsons could sign up with any other team and the Cowboys just lost a player and two picks for nothing?

If yes, does that just put him on the market to haggle and juggle various offers from every team in the league, but only the Packers paid a price to put him on the market in the first place?

If not, if he must play for the team he was traded to or sit out a year (or longer), why do salary negotiations happen, surely some money is better than no money? How does this work?

 

[俺たちファームズでノッテる]

So to those who may have come in from a feature either in the community feature or site wide feature.


Jerry Jones is kinda like the pirate software of sports. We call em Jerruh Jones. he just traded the best nigger in sports ball instead of paying him. To sports ball people like me it's a full on lolcow moment. And trust me look into Jerruh Jones he's a fucking cow..

 

[Absolutego]

What it implies is Jerry Jones told Parsons, "I've traded you, you will now be playing for this other team."

Why is Parsons entitled to say, "I want more money"? What if the Packers refused to pay him more money? Does that mean Parsons could sign up with any other team and the Cowboys just lost a player and two picks for nothing?

If yes, does that just put him on the market to haggle and juggle various offers from every team in the league, but only the Packers paid a price to put him on the market in the first place?

If not, if he must play for the team he was traded to or sit out a year (or longer), why do salary negotiations happen, surely some money is better than no money? How does this work?

tl&dr; he's entitled to say "I want more money" because he's one of the best at his position and can get away with it. If the Packers refused to give him a contract extension after the trade, they'd have his rights for this season only, he probably wouldn't play at all and eat the fines, and then he'd sign with the highest bidder this spring. The Packers would have given away a player and two picks for a guy who never actually played for them and the Cowboys would come out looking like robber barons.

Salary negotiation drama like this happens because teams want to keep players they view as valuable around instead of even letting them sniff free agency. The owners prefer it this way both because they keep their stars, and because keeping that negotiation internal instead of effectively holding a public auction for the best of the best every spring keeps contracts manageable, in a league that has a hard limit on how much each team can spend on players every year.

There was a lot of (pretty choice) lolcow drama in 2021 where a player perceived to be a star effectively hit free agency - Deshaun Watson had spent a year refusing to play for the Texans over contract demands (dude had just signed a really lucrative extension the year prior too, the contract drama was perceived the entire time as a veiled demand for a trade), and all the teams knew the Texans had to trade him, so the bidding got out of control and the team that wound up successfully trading for him gave the Texans 3 first round picks, 3 later round picks, and then handed Watson a $230 million contract, fully guaranteed, which is unheard of.

Owners immediately colluded (the player's union is currently suing them over it IIRC) to never let that kind of contract happen again, and, because the Browns are even more of a lolcow team than the Cowboys, it horribly blew up in the team's face (Watson sucks when he isn't injured and will probably never play in a game for the team again, they'll cut him at the end of the season), but that's a glimpse into how entertaining contract drama can be if your team isn't involved in it.

 

[whatever I feel like]

Hope that drama-queen asshole likes living in the white haven that is northern Wisconsin.