Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

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"I can't have spontaneous in the moment sex...I don't want to have to explain my body any time I want to be intimate"

Wow, so true! If only there was some way to explain yourself one time to the total amount of people you're going to be "intimate" with in the foreseeable future, and then never have to explain yourself from scratch again! Alas, such a thing is impossible.
 
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You could probably write "despite what terfs say" and then put literally anything after it and speds on tiktok would eat it up.
Most of these people are physically indistinguishable from the tumblrinas of the early - mid 2010's. It's actually kind of shocking how stagnant that 'look' is.

I suppose there's a limit on how intentionally ugly you can make yourself until you either start doing meth or end up like that tiger guy.
I think she can't admit she wishes she didn't uglify herself. She still has her tits at least.View attachment 5643460
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She looks like Pat from Two Best Friends.
 
Pooners truly are just the evolved form of those 00s yaoi fujo-coomers. These women all have autohomoeriticism, can probably only coom to voyeuristic fantasies, all have the same look of someone who has been tripping on sustanon for days, brows the size of their elongated clitorises, the "i just beat cancer" hairstyle and have likely developed carpal tunnel syndrome from drawing too much yaoi and fingering themselves
 
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"I can't have spontaneous in the moment sex...I don't want to have to explain my body any time I want to be intimate"

Wow, so true! If only there was some way to explain yourself one time to the total amount of people you're going to be "intimate" with in the foreseeable future, and then never have to explain yourself from scratch again! Alas, such a thing is impossible.


Imagine cutting off your legs for funsies, and then have the audacity to complain that you need a wheelchair to get around.

This is retardation at a level that’s hard to wrap your mind around.

“I can’t have spontaneous sex! So unfair!”

Why yes hun, you kinda gave up on that when you mutilated and skinned your perfectly functioning vagina, and had a piece of arm flesh sewn on, that you MIGHT be able to penetrate someone with, if you stick it in a plastic condom and the stars align.

Didn’t this broad read the fine print when she signed the waivers?!?
 
Mozart pooner
Finally some organic pooner art found out in the wild. When you said she was LARPing as a cat boy I expected her to be wearing cat ears and a maid outfit, not... drawing herself as a retarded naked cat. This seems so much like she's trolling but I know she's not, and she's grooming a bunch of other pooners. Funny but sad
 
The only word I can think of is pathetic. Straight women thinking they're owed sex from gay men is hilarious to me, especially when feminists claim it only works one way.
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Nothing says not a woman anymore louder than hoping for a forever boyfriend before you've even had a boyfriend.
 
Pooner Profile Theory:

These are girls that aren't interested in what the media portrays teen girls and young women as typically interested in.​

They have/had some kind of a Superwholockian Pottermore phase.​

They are bisexual and really want to call themselves fag because they see the cool gay guys doing it and the only way it was allowed on tumblr to do that (be a bi cis girl and call yourselves or your friends fag and it was so cool at the time to be a gay guy from your headcannon) was to BECOME a gay guy, and the only way to be a gay guy was to transition. This was back when transsexual was still a term used but someone had the idea, that quickly spread on tumblr, that it's transgender (not transgendered it's different now.) AND around when it went from the R in GRS standing for reassignment to reaffirming. Pooners are tumblr incarnate. The truscum and tucute war lead to phallos. End theory. Social media was a mistake.​
#trans #transgender #lgbtqia #castiel #trusc*m #tucute #cis dni #queer theory #hrt #amab privilege​
 
A lil’ dood is pissed, PISSED at his parents!

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“STAHP INVALIDATING ME!”

But oWo… Wat dis in her post history?
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“STAHP LYING TO YOURSELF!”

Pooner Profile Theory:

These are girls that aren't interested in what the media portrays teen girls and young women as typically interested in.​

They have/had some kind of a Superwholockian Pottermore phase.​

They are bisexual and really want to call themselves fag because they see the cool gay guys doing it and the only way it was allowed on tumblr to do that (be a bi cis girl and call yourselves or your friends fag and it was so cool at the time to be a gay guy from your headcannon) was to BECOME a gay guy, and the only way to be a gay guy was to transition. This was back when transsexual was still a term used but someone had the idea, that quickly spread on tumblr, that it's transgender (not transgendered it's different now.) AND around when it went from the R in GRS standing for reassignment to reaffirming. Pooners are tumblr incarnate. The truscum and tucute war lead to phallos. End theory. Social media was a mistake.​
#trans #transgender #lgbtqia #castiel #trusc*m #tucute #cis dni #queer theory #hrt #amab privilege​

They’re not even all bisexual.
I’d even venture that most of them aren’t bisexual, but just awkward/traumatized teen girls who seek refuge in a fantasy.
 
Another example of a young girl LARPing as men, despite fundamentally not understanding them.

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Poor lil’ pooner! Guess the guy had a crush on her, or just realized that she’s batshit crazy and not worth the trouble.

Anyways, down in the replies there are some posts from girls LARPing badly that really made me chuckle.

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So he/him, 18, is surprised and horrified that a teenage boy is trying to get in the pants of a girl, and not looking for deep and meaningful friendship.

“Thanks bro” indeed!

(Christ, they don’t even sound remotely like boys. I’ve never heard or seen so many “dude” and “bro” outside of a parody of teen boys.)
Do women still not understand that guys aren't ever just friends with women unless there is something major in the way like sexuality?

Pooner just got her license with her new totally rad dood name
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Homestuck and its consequences has been a disaster for womankind...

Here's the pooner in question after getting her tetus deletus breasts mutilated
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Nice pedo glasses and coomer 'stache my dood...

BTW this is how she used to look like
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Her dad's reaction I suppose assuming she even had a dad
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I really need to start a website called Faces of Pooners and just have it be a single infinite scrolling page of the most horrific before/after photos. Stuff like this is far more horrifying than the shit you see in Faces of Death.

It really has gotten me thinking lately about those quotes about how evil only knows how to destroy and not create, how modern society is focused on the deconstruction (destruction) of everything beautiful and good in this world. Same with the one that's a dad lamenting on Facebook about how one year in college made her daughter hate everything.
 
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Do women still not understand that guys aren't ever just friends with women unless there is something major in the way like sexuality?
Many immature women are kinda stuck in childhood where being friends with boys was possible. Girls and boys tend to gravitate towards sex segregated play but especially if the pickings are slim can be good playmates and even friends. They have also seen their parents having opposite sex friends because everyone has been paired off for decades and just are neighbors or whatever (or hiding tension from the kids). They see that and think of course it works like that with single men and women in the most horny years of their lives when they are actively looking for partners short and long term. There is no reason why just friends can't happen, people are just being wierd about it.
 
Imagine cutting off your legs for funsies, and then have the audacity to complain that you need a wheelchair to get around.

This is retardation at a level that’s hard to wrap your mind around.

“I can’t have spontaneous sex! So unfair!”

Why yes hun, you kinda gave up on that when you mutilated and skinned your perfectly functioning vagina, and had a piece of arm flesh sewn on, that you MIGHT be able to penetrate someone with, if you stick it in a plastic condom and the stars align.

Didn’t this broad read the fine print when she signed the waivers?!?
I feel like at this time they'd probably get comparable results by transplanting a corpse penis onto them. Even if all they got was 'not literally rotting off' and 'can still use both arms' with maybe a bonus of 'stand up to pee like a big boy' they can at least have an erectile device inserted into an actual corpora cavernosa so it doesn't erode through the skin when they try to use it. I guess rejection is the big hurdle there. Imagine the drama! "my boi rejected me! It's just like Daddy all over again!"

KateHikes14

The only word I can think of is pathetic. Straight women thinking they're owed sex from gay men is hilarious to me, especially when feminists claim it only works one way.
View attachment 5647619
Nothing says not a woman anymore louder than hoping for a forever boyfriend before you've even had a boyfriend.

The fact that she thinks a rot dog looks authentic shows that she has never been near an erect Penis in her life!
 
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Do women still not understand that guys aren't ever just friends with women unless there is something major in the way like sexuality?
Well, I'm friends with a lot of women. But it's mostly because I'm a raging faggot.
Another example of a young girl LARPing as men, despite fundamentally not understanding them.

View attachment 5638162

Poor lil’ pooner! Guess the guy had a crush on her, or just realized that she’s batshit crazy and not worth the trouble.

Anyways, down in the replies there are some posts from girls LARPing badly that really made me chuckle.

View attachment 5638163

So he/him, 18, is surprised and horrified that a teenage boy is trying to get in the pants of a girl, and not looking for deep and meaningful friendship.

“Thanks bro” indeed!

(Christ, they don’t even sound remotely like boys. I’ve never heard or seen so many “dude” and “bro” outside of a parody of teen boys.)
What also gets me is the total hugbox nature of the community. That bitch who hasn't even done anything to transition and is massively upset because a guy she talks to online didn't message her one day gets 150 upvotes? If they were real men, they'd be saying "Who the fuck cares?" or, if they wanted to be constructive, "You need to focus on making yourself better first".

As for the second girl, one of the hardest parts about being a faggot is coming out since everyone you've known your entire will now look at you differently. You agonize over it and put it off until the time is right and more often than not you're surprised at how amazing everyone is in supporting you. But we recognize there's obviously times and places where coming out can get your ass beat or even killed if you're in the black ghetto or the Middle East or something. This bitch thought that coming out would have zero repercussions for her. She also was so naive and/or into everyone fawning over her that she couldn't see when a guy was trying to fuck her. Like @Ser Prize has been saying, these aren't victims. They're women who've never been told no by an authority figure before and think the world revolves around them.
 
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