Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

[Apustajan apustaja]

Yeah no. I also thought that stretched ears were cool in 2004, as a penalty I still wear thick rings like that, or have to answer questions on why you have buttholes on your ears as an old man.

You really have to earn looking as dumb as me, you dont get to look dumb by just identifying as a dumb dood, you really have to be one. Fuck these pooners.

 

[goat sneed]

The only word I can think of is pathetic. Straight women thinking they're owed sex from gay men is hilarious to me, especially when feminists claim it only works one way.
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I'm glad this insane woman is there to educate the ignorant r/askgaybros fags on having sex with men. I can't tell you how much gays love when they see a frankendick and it has tattoos on it!
Who wants to bet her "forever man" is cis (i.e. actually a guy)? It's funny how much they seethe at regular-ass men, but you never see a gayden rushing to hook up with another frankendick.

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

Reminds me. We need:

* Lysol
* Glade
* Some ULine cleaner
* DiDi 7
* Clorox
* Some Cintas cleaner
* Anything from EcoLab
* And a cardboard pine tree from Auto Zone

May I recommend Odorcide 210?

It's used to clean morgues and crime scenes. I bet it'll really cut down on that persistent necrotic flesh odor. As the company itself says, "If it stinks, Odorcide is your solution."

 

[cybertoaster]

She could see if there's a difference by herself, just have sex with a regular guy then with a post-op dood and that's all.

Now tell me with a straight face you can't tell the difference between a penis and a rotting hotdog made of arm flesh inside your vagina...

especially when feminists claim it only works one way.

What you mean? feminists are saying transbians looking for lesbians are gross but pooners looking for gay men aren't?

100% becky right here, I knew so many girls like these, compulsive liars that made shit up constantly to make themselves more interesting instead of IDK read a book or get a hobby so you have something to talk about...

Do women still not understand that guys aren't ever just friends with women unless there is something major in the way like sexuality?

I had women friends, tho I do remember 2 that were looking for something else. One started with just talking after class while waiting or whatever and then she started doing things like saying "hey me and (bunch of people) are going to watch a movie" and when I show up it was just her, everybody else just happened to not make it for some reason...

What I'm saying is that it goes both ways, its not just men pretending to be friends.

but you never see a gayden rushing to hook up with another frankendick.

Its the same with transbians, tho some do give up eventually, but at that point its just being gay with extra steps.

 

[UnfOrtuNatE BaskEtt]

...i regularly go to McDonald's for McBreakfast, and there is a McTrans F2M who works the early shift and who has an apron of flab, huge child-bearing hips, small feet, small hands, short arms, one withered flayed T-Rex fore-arm (from which a Mcfake-cock was attempted, surely), and straggly facial hair...

...at first it put me off my McBreakfast, but now I wonder where it is and what it's doing, if it's not there, preparing the McBreakfast rolls, in plain sight!!!!...

...I once felt the same about a massive spider that lived outside the kitchen window....

...and I try not to imagine the open sores, leaking pus and wee, and constant revision surgeries to extend that poor, exhausted, constricted, and scarred, Urethra, lurking under the McUniform....don't get me started on trimmed-down McNipple Placement....

....my question is...should such creatures be handling food?

 

[Pesadilla]

Another Slav (Czech) pooner. This one is particularly sad case, because aside from being strikingly beautiful woman in the past, she is a talented artist.

How it started...

Now we're here.

Of course still using make-up and wearing lingerie, because eFFEmiNaTe GaY GUyS eXisT!!!!1

 

[deermeat]

Another Slav (Czech) pooner. This one is particularly sad case, because aside from being strikingly beautiful woman in the past, she is a talented artist.

How it started...

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Now we're here.

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Of course still using make-up and wearing lingerie, because eFFEmiNaTe GaY GUyS eXisT!!!!1

Wow she looked from looking like how trans women wished they looked like to looking like a trans woman herself. An... Accomplishment? I don't get it.

 

[BeaArthurKin]

My mom, as I've learned, is very susceptible to propaganda. Now she even admonishes me for using the word 'tranny' because 'it's a mean word'.

In a way I can't blame her. Living with an angry pooner isn't easy when you slip up and use 'she' and they throw a big temper tantrum. In a way it was kind of always bound to happen. I've told her all of that, told her the truth about the surgery, about how most families deal with similar stuff but it's pointless. She's accepted that she has to play along with Alyssa's delusion now, calls her 'Gabe' and 'him/he' like she wants.

Just call her Gabriela.

 

[Anasa Tristis]

feminists are saying transbians looking for lesbians are gross but pooners looking for gay men aren't?

I don't think they get that far in their considerations. In a gay man v pooner comparison, radfem sympathy automatically tips towards the pooner. Who is always a hapless (and blameless!) victim of patriarchy or a self destructive lost soul created by it.

 

[manaatti]

How much did both of these kids have to get molested by their weird uncle for them to be this interested in talking openly about prosthetic genitals? It's fucking weird. What little brother thinks about what's in his teenage sister's pants like this? Do I want to know? Why do I have the feeling that she'd be all too happy to show him the difference between a dildo and her "Mr. Limpy"?

Also, as an admitted late bloomer, I had no idea what a "dildo" actually was, much less being able to visually identify one, when I was 14. I knew vaguely that it was something sexual and would get a reaction out of people if I said it, but as far as the intended use, I was clueless. This kid not only knows what a dildo is, he's able to correctly classify a "prosthetic" penis as one. The Internet has been a blight on society.

 

[Wendy Wheelchair]

Of course still using make-up and wearing lingerie, because eFFEmiNaTe GaY GUyS eXisT!!!!1

Never forget:

 

[Jacques1194]

What you mean? feminists are saying transbians looking for lesbians are gross but pooners looking for gay men aren't?

I saw some feminists arguing that once gay men started complaining about TIFs invading their spaces that they deserved it for throwing lesbians under the bus when TIMs were invading lesbian spaces.Basically, they claim gay men either defended TIMs, or said nothing when lesbians were being attacked for "transphobia" for not accepting trans women in their spaces.In fact they straight up blame gay men for why the T was added to LGBT.They argued that gay male organizations promoted gay TIMs for years to destroy (radical) feminism and allow their gay male buddies into LGB community centers and other services.Honestly, I dont know who's to blame for who added the T to LGBT, but regardless I want to argue that feminist give TIFs way too much of a free pass because how much do they blame sexism for why TIFs transition?

 

[Peaches the Wonder Cat]

A woman who had it all - looks, friends, family, a rich social life - poons out over a year ago, and lost all of that. She admits to being ugly and having lost her support network.

Link | Archive

Spoiler: Text

Vent Early transition. I looked socially more beautiful female presenting and I've lost everyone. self.ftm
submitted 1 year ago by majorasflaask

It's hard to admit this. But I looked beautiful in the eyes of society as a feminine presenting person. Long hair, jewelry etc. I have a very specific look and it worked very well with my hair and outfits. I hated it every day it was so dysphoric I was so depressed. I started my transition, chopped my hair off etc and I love how I feel but bro am I depressed at how lonely I've gotten.
As a "woman", casual dating was no problem. Socializing was no big deal. I got hundreds of matches on dating profiles, all my customers loved me called me beautiful, tons of social media likes etc. Now I've cut my hair off and present masculine (which I love and don't feel dysphoric doing so) I get 2 likes a post, haven't had a single match on dating apps that I've had for months as a masculine presenting male without clocking myself and have been told I look worse with short hair and all that.
I was miserable as a "girl". Not who I was. Ever. Since I was a kid lol. I don't regret anything at all. I am male and transitioning has been a game changer. But I'm lonely, dude. I feel ugly. I'm not treated the same. It fucking hurts. I look at old photos of me and even with the dysphoria I felt, I just miss how I was treated and how easy finding a casual date was. I haven't talked to anyone since transitioning.
Idk. I sometimes feel like I should just give up. I lost my family bc of my transition. Life long friends. Respect from transphobic coworkers. I constantly get harassed by customers. It was easier on the surface level to be "cis female". It was driving me insane but at least I had a mom and dad lmao. But the misery I felt wasn't worth it either. Lose lose situation. I just wanna give up. On everything. Being trans is so fucking hard and I wish I just...wasn't so lonely through it all. I don't have anyone to support me. No one.
I was miserable before but I had a family, friends, respect and support. I love myself more as I transition and im more comfortable in my skin, but I have absolutely no one. I just want to curl up in a ball and let whoever played this sick joke called life on me laugh and win.

Instead of asking detrans, she posts this to r/ftm, who of course give her asspats.

A few months later, like a manly man, she complains about cowlicks and being called Alfalfa.

Link | Archive

Spoiler: Text

Long hair makes me dysphoric but short hair makes me wanna cry over how difficult it is?!?! self.ftm
submitted 11 months ago by majorasflaask

Y'all... I had long hair down past my butt for 18 years of my life. I cut it and loved it! But I've got wavy hair. Unruly hair. Once it starts to grow out within like 3 weeks, I look a mess! I wake up with cowlicks going every which way, sticking straight up and sideways and my part in the back looks like alfalfa and it's awful. I'm literally called alfalfa at work. I've used gel, pomade, straightening my hair, good ol water, blowdrying it down, etc. I literally spent 40 minutes one morning before work and once I got to work it was worse and we have company visitors and I literally cried.
Looks like I walk out the house without brushing it! Can't grow it out to try different style's because I'm so self conscious about the cowlicks and once I cut it it grows out .0003 an inch and goes crazy!
Please. I'm a baby trans who's never had short hair and I'm a crybaby with horrible self esteem. ANY advice cus my hairstylist tries but her methods aren't working!

Again, she posts to r/ftm to get validation, instead of rethinking this pooner thing.

Now she's claims she's surrounded by transphobia, even though it's just as likely that her tattoos, piercings, and whatever ugly color her hair is dyed is turning people off.

Link | Archive

Spoiler: Text

The way the US is going, I don't think I could ever live comfortably as trans self.ftm
submitted 47 minutes ago by majorasflaask

That's a text message I sent to my fiancé. I paused my transition about 8 months ago. This is not the first time I've forced myself back into the closet, either. I am so utterly /terrified/ of the world, my friends, my family, my coworkers, etc. I live in a very Bible Belt town in a Bible Belt state and I am just terrified. Even now, I get shit on daily for how I look (tattoos, piercings, hair). I am so afraid of the potential of what could happen if I openly present as male and am openly trans. My coworkers are openly transphobic. My family is also transphobic. My town, hate crimes are rampant. I do not feel safe. I am in such a crazy headspace right now. I want to be me and I felt so happy when I was transitioning, but the more I came out, the more unsafe I felt. I just want to be me. And all the scary news going around...I feel like it's impossible. I feel like I'll be closeted for the rest of my life just bc I'm too afraid to live my truth. Please tell me I am not the only one.

 

[poko]

In fact they straight up blame gay men for why the T was added to LGBT.They argued that gay male organizations promoted gay TIMs for years to destroy (radical) feminism and allow their gay male buddies into LGB community centers and other services.

they are mistaken. the Gen X gays mostly died of AIDS which allowed younger gender-radicals to take over the gay orgs.

 

[PAM Cooking Spray]

what's the etymology of pooner?

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

etymology of pooner

Poon is slang for vagina and the pooners often have vulva outlines in their art.

 

[Fapcop]

I feel like at this time they'd probably get comparable results by transplanting a corpse penis onto them. Even if all they got was 'not literally rotting off' and 'can still use both arms' with maybe a bonus of 'stand up to pee like a big boy' they can at least have an erectile device inserted into an actual corpora cavernosa so it doesn't erode through the skin when they try to use it.

Yup. Little known fact about erectile devices: They’re designed for MEN’S penises, not pooner rotdogs.

(For example, a penis has a corpora cavernosa where it is supposed to go. It’s also designed to be supported/attached by a bone that women just don’t have. This is why ED devices in pooners often end with poor results.)

KateHikes14​

Nothing says not a woman anymore louder than hoping for a forever boyfriend before you've even had a boyfriend.

The fact that she thinks a rot dog looks authentic shows that she has never been near an erect Penis in her life!
[/QUOTE]

Some of the very best ones, the ones that had tattooing done and aren’t obscenely big and/or thin can kinda sorta look like a penis, if you squibt your eyes and don’t look too closely. (And: If you ignore the location and the mons etc.)

But what are the odds again that Dr. Shekelstein will give you that 1:1000 result? That’s right.

And of course IRL you’ll never confuse it for an actual cock.

Unless you have sex with corpses and shit I guess.

 

[Inside your walls]

I've seen this strawman comic made by a troon, so I decided to fix it

 

[BeaArthurKin]

what's the etymology of pooner?

Basically a portmanteau of poon (vagina) + -oomer (ie, coomer, doomer, zoomer, etc.)

 

[cybertoaster]

I saw some feminists arguing that once gay men started complaining about TIFs invading their spaces that they deserved it for throwing lesbians under the bus when TIMs were invading lesbian spaces.Basically, they claim gay men either defended TIMs, or said nothing when lesbians were being attacked for "transphobia" for not accepting trans women in their spaces.In fact they straight up blame gay men for why the T was added to LGBT.They argued that gay male organizations promoted gay TIMs for years to destroy (radical) feminism and allow their gay male buddies into LGB community centers and other services.Honestly, I dont know who's to blame for who added the T to LGBT, but regardless I want to argue that feminist give TIFs way too much of a free pass because how much do they blame sexism for why TIFs transition?

Radfems sure are peak pyschotic-schizo, back in the 60's they would join gay bashing gangs because the gays refused to fuck them, now this shit. They are not only irrational but hallucinating as well, look at any pro-trans article from the past decade and 90% of the time its a feminist writing it, when it was a male it was a "male feminist" not the average gay dude talking about bottom friendly diets and other gross gay stuff.

Most gays I've talked to didn't like the trans shit because they saw it as a sort of "back in the closet" thing, and when you look at how gays are forced to transition in iran they sort of have a point.

Welcome to the male condition lady...

As a "woman", casual dating was no problem. Socializing was no big deal. I got hundreds of matches on dating profiles, all my customers loved me called me beautiful, tons of social media likes etc. Now I've cut my hair off and present masculine (which I love and don't feel dysphoric doing so) I get 2 likes a post
haven't had a single match on dating apps that I've had for months as a masculine presenting male without clocking myself and have been told I look worse with short hair and all that.

So the above-average girly girl to pooner incel pipeline its real.

I'm curious, has anyone in that thread brought up that she sounds just like an actual incel? that's exactly the stuff incels always complain about, the same experience they get IRL and in social media.

But I'm lonely, dude. I feel ugly. I'm not treated the same. It fucking hurts.

Something something don't call it a grave.

Something something the future you chose.

I look at old photos of me and even with the dysphoria I felt, I just miss how I was treated and how easy finding a casual date was

These women clearly don't understand how much of a downgrade it is to become a man, and they are not even becoming the average dude which has it bad enough, they are becoming the bottom 20% of men who have it the worse.

Being trans is so fucking hard

No, being a man is hard, being trans you still actually have it easier in some ways. For example you wont get sent to male prison to get the full dude experience...

I live in a very Bible Belt town in a Bible Belt state and I am just terrified

Then leave, this is not china where they have internal passports and shit, you can move anywhere.

I get shit on daily for how I look (tattoos, piercings, hair). I am so afraid of the potential of what could happen if I openly present as male and am openly trans. My coworkers are openly transphobic.

Between her constant whining and this description of her looks I sort of get why people don't like her.

hate crimes are rampant

How many WTFBBQs got hanged this weekend? zero? then there are no hate crimes.

Getting told you're a manlet with shit hair and horrendous fashion sense isn't a hate crime, its facts.

the Gen X gays mostly died of AIDS

Xers were like 15 when AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIDS happened, it was mostly boomer gays who died from the AAAAAAAAAAAAIDS.

I've seen this strawman comic made by a troon, so I decided to fix it
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"Hottest dude" jesus christ the amounts of copium on the og one...