Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

[Hepativore]

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The black girl's face has very soft and feminine features, and it just makes her beard look fake, as if it was a costume prop.

Maybe it is a fake beard?

 

[Crex Crex]

She looks like a Habsburg.

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

I was browsing /r/ftmselfies to find some heckin' valid men and what do I find?..
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Huh? What's that in he/his shirt pocket?..
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..DOOD!

Can you thumbnail this? It takes ten years to load on my connection.

Link

Spoiler: Text

THERE I WAS... Was in a single stall bathroom. Finishing up; as I was yoinking up my pants, my packer fell in the toilet.
"Aw no! Buddy! No!"
Omg. Ew. Now what??
I fished him out, took him to the sink and gave him a wash in the most pumpkin spice smelling soap I've ever experienced, but it was what they had. Three rinses later and he's still pumpkin spice fresh. So now are my pants.
This is a thing you know now. You're welcome.

Very manly. She looks like a middle aged lesbian:

But she is actually "gay trans man" who destroyed her marriage and alienated her family to chase the gender dragon:

Link 1
Link 2

 

[ephermeral]

I finished my first sock doll. He may not be much to look at, but he’s ready to barbecue with the boys!

Does anyone else find pooners kind of cute? They have a pug-like appeal. A pitiful adorableness.

 

[pink cigarettes]

Can you thumbnail this? It takes ten years to load on my connection.
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Link

Spoiler: Text

THERE I WAS... Was in a single stall bathroom. Finishing up; as I was yoinking up my pants, my packer fell in the toilet.
"Aw no! Buddy! No!"
Omg. Ew. Now what??
I fished him out, took him to the sink and gave him a wash in the most pumpkin spice smelling soap I've ever experienced, but it was what they had. Three rinses later and he's still pumpkin spice fresh. So now are my pants.
This is a thing you know now. You're welcome.

Very manly. She looks like a middle aged lesbian:
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But she is actually "gay trans man" who destroyed her marriage and alienated her family to chase the gender dragon:
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Link 1
Link 2
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Imagine going online and finding your deranged narc mother who broke up her marriage is posting selfies as a smug pretend-manlet. And she's openly, shamelessly talking about how even though her first-born doesn't speak to her, its no big deal. (Notice she doesn't say a word about how the estranged son or daughter might feel, or what she might've done differently, or anything, just that *she's* moved on now.) Imagine being a grown-ass woman with multiple children, yet still using the term "chosen family." Imagine acting like a giant self-absorbed sociopath, then when people don't like it, blame them, because MAGA.

Sure, Barbara. Nice old lady pixie cut. You're going to die alone.

Never feel bad for FTM troons just because they're female.

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

Most pooners look like lesbos to me, Even the ones with a pubic beard I just see a bearded lady.

Imagine being a grown-ass woman with multiple children, yet still using the term "chosen family." Imagine acting like a giant self-absorbed sociopath, then when people don't like it, blame them, because MAGA.

I donnu but the next time I'm late for work or anything really I'm blaming MAGA

 

[scathefire]

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Heterosexual male doesn't want to date or have sex with a pooner, more at 5. How is the husband to blame here?

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

Heterosexual male doesn't want to date or have sex with a pooner, more at 5. How is the husband to blame here?

but isnt part of the pooner fantasy to be in a heccin wholesome gay relationship? if so, then why wouldn't she be glad her hetero cis husband doesnt want her? this just leaves her free to prowl for gay men on grindr. that is until she leaves the hard way that the only people who want trannies are sick chasers and prison gay T4T.

 

[Anasa Tristis]

Imagine being a grown-ass woman with multiple children, yet still using the term "chosen family." Imagine acting like a giant self-absorbed sociopath, then when people don't like it, blame them, because MAGA.

The "chosen family" bit got me too. She's way too old to sincerely buy into that crap. Not after being a mother herself. But I guess if your spouse and blood relatives (including your own offspring) doesn't want anything to do with you, that illusion is all ya gots left.

 

[Wendy Wheelchair]

Jaime Raines a.k.a Jammidodger is 6'1".
She passes as a gay anorexic man at best. As long as you don't listen to her talk or pay attention to her mannerisms.
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It's funny, you can also tell because the beard texture (pubes) does not match what his ethnicity, age, or hair texture would say. Some guys DO have pube beards. They're either adolescents, some kind of Asian, or have nigger-hair texture. I wonder what the cause of it is. Could it be just that those facial pores aren't primed for hair?

THERE I WAS... Was in a single stall bathroom. Finishing up; as I was yoinking up my pants, my packer fell in the toilet.
"Aw no! Buddy! No!"
Omg. Ew. Now what??
I fished him out, took him to the sink and gave him a wash in the most pumpkin spice smelling soap I've ever experienced, but it was what they had. Three rinses later and he's still pumpkin spice fresh. So now are my pants.
This is a thing you know now. You're welcome.

How can ANYONE read this text, regardless of subject matter, and ever determine that was a man? That's the most feminine way of typing ever. Find me a single man, gay or straight, who would ever say "Aw no! Buddy! No!" to anything they own falling in a toilet.

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

Why do all pooners have pub beards? Is it something to do with the hormones? I would rather not have a beard if it looked like pubs glued to my chin, do these whores think it's manly looking?

 

[xogossipgorl]

As long as people are pondering the pube texture of pooner beards, I want to know why so many of them only have beards on the lowest part of their faces, like on their jaw line and below.
Real men get beards way up on their cheeks, even encroaching on the apples, and have to trim if they want to maintain a lush beard.

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

Why do all pooners have pub beards? Is it something to do with the hormones? I would rather not have a beard if it looked like pubs glued to my chin, do these whores think it's manly looking?

As long as people are pondering the pube texture of pooner beards, I want to know why so many of them only have beards on the lowest part of their faces, like on their jaw line and below.
Real men get beards way up on their cheeks, even encroaching on the apples, and have to trim if they want to maintain a lush beard.

Most women don't have good beard genetics, at most getting a light mustache and some chin hairs. Even on testosterone, most of them have peach fuzz a 14 year old boy would be embarrassed by, or a gross neckbeard.

My first beard grow up
6 months on T and now 3 years

beard update. (No skin care, need tips).
literally magic?? this is what time & some T will do for you

 

[weirdwound]

Stand Up Comic Pooner:

River Butcher, formerly Rhea Butcher, former wife of Carmen Esposito and actress on Seeso show Take My Wife Please

https://www.tiktok.com/ZT8W6Yb1Y/

https://www.tiktok.com/ZT8W6F8Ax/

 

[cybertoaster]

Oh you mean your husband who isn't gay doesn't wants to be gay? shocker!

Also "chosen family" my ass, a bunch of people on the internet wont help you when you're elderly and a small fall away from a broken hip. My parents got boomer friends who didn't have kids and now they are really regretting the fact that they got nobody to help them.

Of course the pooner is now a barista...

Edit: Seems I'm going blind...

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

Of course the pooner is now a barista...

She actually posts in r/barber, so I'm pretty sure that's what she does for a living (if you look at the background, you can see attachments for electric clippers). As for motives:

I'm guessing trying to be young again.

And what better way to feel young than posting wacky fake penis stories!

TFW your prosthetic almost cuts off your dick

Spoiler: Spoiler

We all know the feeling right haha… when you decide to road test your Transthetics The Rod™ for the first time in public… after trimming it enough that it no longer cuts off blood supply… or so you think… and sitting next to your cis guy friend on a train for an hour slowly becoming more and more uncomfortable as this thing has an absolute gorilla grip on your junk… brain starts picturing your dick just falling right off… finally managing to pop it off through your clothes 5 minutes before your stop… christ, pain, but relief… then being faced with the fact you wore loose boxers and baggy jeans and have a rogue cock jiggling about down there… standing and waddling towards the door and feeling it fall to your knees.. panic… sit down and pretend to tie your shoe while stealthily shimmying it out your pant leg and into your backpack… crisis averted… having a fun night until you make it to the club… bouncers checking bags at the door… you pull a different friend aside: “fuck shit fuck! I’ve got a prosthetic dick in my bag!”… look super sus as you huddle in the street and transfer the package from backpack to jeans pocket… second crisis averted.. you make it in the club.. all is well.. you now have a dick in your pocket for moral support

On a related note, it's hilarious going through all the fake dicks on the market for pooners:

Spoiler: Synthetic Sausagefest

You have the classic sewn floral print packers...

Silicone models in tie dye, or with real flowers inside...

And the classic crochet, some even come in a DIY kit so you have something fun to do with Grandma!

Also, for some reason Etsy recommended me this:

Wouldn't be surprised if pooners started packing these.

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

River Butcher, formerly Rhea Butcher,

The River Butcher sounds like a serial killer name, like The Green River Killer.

 

[Amber the Hedgehog]

On a related note, it's hilarious going through all the fake dicks on the market for pooners:

These are like bachelorette party decorations. Fake racy because you supposed to be but also cute pretty pink stuff because come on, dicks are kinda gross.

 

[Incel Death Note]

- snip-

It's very goth and grunge to get plastic surgery, some say Paris Hilton is the original punkroker.

 

[Señora Airi]

-snip-

"wow, why did Gen X watch all these overrated movies and turn out the way they did?"