The Ralphaudit - Trashfire Finances: Ethan Ralph was bragging about the leaks proving he's rich, so let's make a thread about it.

[break these cuffs]

I think I would stay Ralph and use my bizarre scenario to my benefit.

Imagine if Ralph got sober, kicked his numerous addictions, stopped being fat, divorced his embarrassing pedo whorse bride, took care of his children, tried in earnest to make amends for the decade of being a piece of shit and started making sound choices with his money. Redemption Arc Ralph would easily double his income and transcend from beyond the cesspool that is the sektur.

He literally can't do a single one of these things but I could do them all. Ethan "Literally Me" Ralph would be an exemplar of the human ability to change for the better no matter how far one has fallen and while there would always be duh hayturz, many more people would be inspired to make positive changes in their own lives.

You don't wake up as yourself in Ralph's body. You wake up as Gunt with all his mental illnesses, addictions, emotional insecurity, shame, and trauma. It's easy dream about what you would do with the money modern day jesters like Ralph prostitute themselves for. Being so fucked up that you'd actually lower yourself to getting their money ensures you'll waste it. Why do you think celebrities and lottery winners go broke with tens or even hundreds of millions? They're unprepared to deal with wealth and they surround themselves with people who are looking out for their own self interest.

People need to quit pocket watching and getting jealous of lolcows. Their lives are hell even if some of them are too deluded to understand that.

 

[Waffle Stompin' Waffen]

You don't wake up as yourself in Ralph's body. You wake up as Gunt with all his mental illnesses, addictions, emotional insecurity, shame, and trauma.

Oh, well fuck that. I'd give anything to avoid being him. I don't want to go to Hell

 

[Sneedfully and Peacefully]

So I was right when I said that roughly $3000 a month I'm shocked I called that.

So my point stands is either he really is a lying fuck or he blows $2k+ on betting and xannies

 

[SpergioLeonne]

Oh, well fuck that. I'd give anything to avoid being him. I don't want to go to Hell

Quantum Leap fantasy:
Cucked

 

[FiddleAFox]

Oh thank goodness he makes that much money. He's my favorite lolcow to witness and it would be a sad day if he didn't livestream his inevitable passing. It'll be sad, but funny at the same time just considering what the ragepig will do if he confronts a cartel member while drunk driving one day in Mejico.

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

I can't believe people still give this retard money. All he does is ragepig about the haydurs at broke dick farms and pass out watching Tucker Carlson clips. As dumb Ralph is, the actual mentally handicapped should not be giving their monthly government tard bux away so frivolously.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

It’s a testament to Ralph’s idiocy and addictions that he could beg this much money and still live like poor white trash.

No wonder he’s so panicked about his Twitter and will put on his stream no matter how degraded his condition. He would be absolutely fucked if he lost his ability to stream for a few weeks. drug addictions have led him to this point (the cost and the bad decisions they cause).

He actually thought moving to a place with cheap benzos was a cost saving measure instead of the final nail in his XXL coffin. He would need a serious month long medical detox before he could even try some sobering. The seizures from benzo and alcohol withdraw would kill him so he’s got a great excuse to keep on using and zero ability to stop.

He probably can’t move back to the USA because how high his benzo tolerance has become, it’s not just affording Xanax stateside now it’s the ability to regularly get his hands on enough to avoid seizures. Ralph can’t risk a few dry days or having to regulate his stash. The drinking ensures he wakes up regularly to discover he ate lots of Xanax while blacked out.

 

[SpergioLeonne]

I can't believe people still give this retard money. All he does is ragepig about the haydurs at broke dick farms and pass out watching Tucker Carlson clips. As dumb Ralph is, the actual mentally handicapped should not be giving their monthly government tard bux away so frivolously.

It’s a crime against SSDI for sure, and a big part of the reason why we can’t have nice things. (I’m not going to politisperg though the impulse is strong)

But figure this, guys. Wherever he’s draining his income from, only the child support he pays Faith and the betting he does makes it back into US circulation. Most everything else is trade deficit.

@MirnaMinkoff

It’s a 3XL coffin. His pants are only smaller because he lets the gunt flop around outside of them

 

[Pit Viper Salesman]

Ralph making an incredible financial windfall only to piss it all away and have nothing to show for it is much more funny than Ralph just being poor and being unable to make money.

Ralph really is everything that his fans desperately cling to him want him to be. He’s a stupid, fat, unattractive wigger who refuses to accept any societal norms and values while devoting his life to revenge on his perceived enemies. Ralph is the hero of the millennial and Gen X groyper who is too old for Nicks message and is bitter and jealous of everyone that grew up and got on with life around them. It’s why they champion and donate to Ralph.

The punchline to this joke is that their hero, no matter how much money and praise they give, will always be just as much poor, stupid white trash as them.

 

[Ralphamaniac]

The punchline to this joke is that their hero, no matter how much money and praise they give, will always be just as much poor, stupid white trash as them.

Look the Ralphamale ain't so sell out. He ain't gonna forget where he comes from boy. He works very hard to remain the trailer trash wigger we all know and love despite his "fans" trying their hardest to ruin him by giving him money.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to piss away that much money? The Ralphamale is the hardest working man in the sektur

 

[Beavis]

To anyone asking “how could he piss it all away?” Remember lowtax pissed away 10 million + his site brought in. It isn’t hard if you have expensive addictions and no impulse control.

 

[Pelican Bones]

The thing to realize is that some people are "poor" meaning that they have little money. Other people are "poor" as a state of mind. The state of mind people are poor because they have no forethought, no sense of planning, no sense of future, and know nothing beyond instant comfort and gratification. They can't understand the idea of  not spending money on junk now so that it can be spent on important things later. It's beyond their understanding.

Ralph is a wigger. He is "poor" as a state of mind. He could make 10 million a year and still have nothing of value to show for it.

 

[Asian tech support]

Assuming the $200k figure is true, this begs more questions. What would the gunt's lifestyle look like when pulling less and how much more would he have to be making to wind up ODing.

The first thing to go would probably be the horse. He might not spend a lot on it or the rugrat but I'd bet he'd take his fix over it.

 

[make_it_so]

You can take the trash out of the trailer, but you can't take the trailer out of the trash.

This is exactly like what happened with WingsofRedemption - made hundreds of thousands a year for several years from streaming Call of Duty, and pissed it all away on frivolities like ATV's and above ground pools and what not. Then when the good times ended, he's still doing that shit only to an audience of alogs and whimpering how he fucking hates Call of Duty but has to keep doing it because "this is what I gotta do to put food on the table."

 

[Procrastinhater]

Lmfao
Goddamn he actually makes less than than I do and look at the fucking shit he has to go through for it.
I mean I put in 10 hour days too and he gets paid to sit on his ass and drink so theres that, I guess, if being a Gunted alcoholic junky that rages at the Internet all day is your ambition he's got it made.
Thing is - he's got no security. That money is entirely dependent on his ability to grift piggies. He has a huge alcohol, drug, and gambling addiction, and no financial security.
If I was in Ralphs position, knowing next months money wasn't guaranteed... I couldn't live like that. It would drive me nuts.
Its not bad money, but he has no guarantee month to month.
And still thats on the low end for e-beggars, its more than I thought he made, but way less than some of those Breadtube parasites.
In all I'd rather do what I do and come home tired to a wife and kids that respect me than wake up as Ralph.
Shit I'd rather be where I was 25 years ago in a shitty one bedroom apartment or even sleeping in my truck than wake up as Ralph.
Money doesn't buy class.
Or happiness.
Or a new liver. Well, maybe the last one. He is in Mexico... its starting to make sense...

 

[Fivehead]

I apologize if this has been asked already but how do we know he's not sending himself fake donos every stream, just under some random name?

 

[purpleflurp]

Dude could've paid his debts off completely last year, and he'd still be taking home twice the average American salary. All he needed to do was not piss his money into gambling and other bullshit.

I apologize if this has been asked already but how do we know he's not sending himself fake donos every stream, just under some random name?

We don't, but it's unlikely. Ralph's a lying swine, but I don't think he's smart enough to orchestrate something like that. Furthermore, getting $200k over the course of a year and some change isn't too difficult in content creation, especially when you're constantly livestreaming yourself. I'm pretty sure there's YT channels under a million subs that pull that in each year.

The problem is that unlike most creators, Ralph is constantly getting kicked between platforms because he's an unlikable retard that can't keep civil business relationships if his career relied on it. This severely limits his growth, as he has to rebuild his audience every time he gets banned from a platform.

So that $157k was probably legit, but that's likely gonna be the last time his income will ever be that high.

 

[gaystoner]

Counterpoint: Where's the Money?

Pantsu has the most knowledge and she seems to be curious as to where all the money is.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

Small nitpick on the Louisiana land value. In Louisiana tax assessments are usually 10% of the actual market value. So that $3300 assessment means $33k market value.

Big X to doubt the story that he sold it for the $3300 assessment. He only owned a share of the property too, not 100% of it.

EDIT: Correction, agricultural and timber land in Louisiana is assessed at 15% of "use value" so that puts Caldwell Parish's estimated market value at exactly $22k: https://house.louisiana.gov/housefiscal/DOCS_TAXREV/2014_Louisiana Property Tax Basics.pdf

 

[AltisticRight]

Counterpoint: Where's the Money?

Pantsu has the most knowledge and she seems to be curious as to where all the money is.

Cheap Mexican prostitutes, booze, benzos, fruitless trips on a whim, losing/replacing stuff damaged due to rage pigging, other vices, hopping AirBnbs, refusing the full lease...

The list goes on.