The Talk

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Kosher Dill said:
sparklemilhouse said:
Speaking of the talk...does Chris even know about a woman's menstrual cycle?
His Future Wife will be expected to keep the duck pond open 24/7. The details are secondary.

Lord forbid Chris ever finds out about infertility, or that fertilized eggs can still get lost in the menstrual cycle.
 
I don't think Chris got the talk. I think he just discovered softcore pornography on HBO when he was 16 and figured it out from there. In all fairness, though, I never got the talk either. My delinquent friends did the deed for my parents when I was 7.
 
The Hunter said:
I don't think Chris got the talk. I think he just discovered softcore pornography on HBO when he was 16 and figured it out from there. In all fairness, though, I never got the talk either. My delinquent friends did the deed for my parents when I was 7.


but at least that's something, you know?
 
I can't really see Borb having the patience for the questions that would inevitably follow.
 
CatParty said:
The Hunter said:
I don't think Chris got the talk. I think he just discovered softcore pornography on HBO when he was 16 and figured it out from there. In all fairness, though, I never got the talk either. My delinquent friends did the deed for my parents when I was 7.


but at least that's something, you know?
I just remembered, actually, a friend of mine didn't discover porn or any of that stuff until he was 16 too. He's... kind of a deviant now. He does nothing but talk about sex, and it used to bug the crap out of me. I remember I became really good friends with him because he was into hockey and poker and tons of other stuff I was into when I was 15, but now, he's ruined my lunch about 5 times with his constant discussion of edgy porno ideas. I imagine it must have been like that for Chris as well. Finding out about how it works at a late age can really do some damage on a guy.
 
The Hunter said:
CatParty said:
The Hunter said:
I don't think Chris got the talk. I think he just discovered softcore pornography on HBO when he was 16 and figured it out from there. In all fairness, though, I never got the talk either. My delinquent friends did the deed for my parents when I was 7.


but at least that's something, you know?
I just remembered, actually, a friend of mine didn't discover porn or any of that stuff until he was 16 too. He's... kind of a deviant now. He does nothing but talk about sex, and it used to bug the crap out of me. I remember I became really good friends with him because he was into hockey and poker and tons of other stuff I was into when I was 15, but now, he's ruined my lunch about 5 times with his constant discussion of edgy porno ideas. I imagine it must have been like that for Chris as well. Finding out about how it works at a late age can really do some damage on a guy.



[cwc]ShecameforCWC.JPG[/cwc] & [cwc]CWCRockin4Way.jpg[/cwc]
 
CatParty said:
[cwc]ShecameforCWC.JPG[/cwc] & [cwc]CWCRockin4Way.jpg[/cwc]
We have to keep in mind that he probably intended to wear his Sonichu medallion during sex IRL.

Now, a tanker truck of brain bleach, s'il vous plaît.
 
DykesDykesChina said:
CatParty said:
[cwc]ShecameforCWC.JPG[/cwc] & [cwc]CWCRockin4Way.jpg[/cwc]
We have to keep in mind that he probably intended to wear his Sonichu medallion during sex IRL.

Now, a tanker truck of brain bleach, s'il vous plaît.

Avec Plaisir
 

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random_pickle said:
DykesDykesChina said:
CatParty said:
[cwc]ShecameforCWC.JPG[/cwc] & [cwc]CWCRockin4Way.jpg[/cwc]
We have to keep in mind that he probably intended to wear his Sonichu medallion during sex IRL.

Now, a tanker truck of brain bleach, s'il vous plaît.

Avec Plaisir
Pass that around, I need some too.
 
Chris has talked with Borb about sex, and he learned Bob was a virgin until he married (he was mid twenties) and Barb lost hers in High School. He also told Barb he faps in a cup so he doesn't make a mess, and he keeps his love doll in the kitchen.


I'd love to hear a talk from Bob: "Son, babies come from an aging hussy who finds a lonely swingin' cat with a fat pension and chases him down the hall. They get married because they don't want to be alone, and they copulate because the swingin' cat forgot to take his blood pressure medicine and got a turgid member, ejaculates, and 9 months later, a baby pops out."
 
Melchett said:
Uzumaki said:
Yeah when Chris talks about his sexual awakening (full body shiver) he seems to indicate that he was pretty much on his own. He definitely had Sex Ed in highschool but, since this was prior to his sweetheart search, there's a good chance that he slept through most of it and still got a passing grade because the alternative would be to have to teach him again next year.
Wait what? Do they test you in Sex Ex?! It's not like that here, just a few lessons in the latter years of secondary school (like 5 or 6) which you didn't even really have to turn up to (I skived like 90% of them).

In my experience Virginia's school-fed sex ed is mostly about the anatomy of the parts and not how they're used. So even if he did pay attention during sex ed he'd only know about, say, where the fallopian tubes are in relation to the vulva, or where the urethra connects to the scrotum.

I suspect that what Borb told him was even less helpful, if they told him anything at all.
 
TheCrotchGobbler said:
Melchett said:
Uzumaki said:
Yeah when Chris talks about his sexual awakening (full body shiver) he seems to indicate that he was pretty much on his own. He definitely had Sex Ed in highschool but, since this was prior to his sweetheart search, there's a good chance that he slept through most of it and still got a passing grade because the alternative would be to have to teach him again next year.
Wait what? Do they test you in Sex Ex?! It's not like that here, just a few lessons in the latter years of secondary school (like 5 or 6) which you didn't even really have to turn up to (I skived like 90% of them).

In my experience Virginia's school-fed sex ed is mostly about the anatomy of the parts and not how they're used. So even if he did pay attention during sex ed he'd only know about, say, where the fallopian tubes are in relation to the vulva, or where the urethra connects to the scrotum.

I suspect that what Borb told him was even less helpful, if they told him anything at all.

If Virginia's an abstinence-only curriculum state, then sex ed would've been just as useless to Chris than any Talk.
 
Ooooh I see. The anatomy of sex was covered in the biology curriculum here.

Sex ed here is where the classes are split into groups by gender and taught about contraception, STIs, etc. and not really at all about the biology. It was more of a workshop type thing than classes here (beer goggles obstacle course ftw).
 
DykesDykesChina said:
We have to keep in mind that he probably intended to wear his Sonichu medallion during sex IRL.

Well, of course. For 'ritual' purposes. He's gathering the tantric energy to bring CWCville into this reality, don't you know.
The amulet is what anchors 'our world' to 'his world'.

DykesDykesChina said:
Now, a tanker truck of brain bleach, s'il vous plaît.
I have something stronger, and plenty of it.
 

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Kosher Dill said:
sparklemilhouse said:
Speaking of the talk...does Chris even know about a woman's menstrual cycle?
His Future Wife will be expected to keep the duck pond open 24/7. The details are secondary.
This is probably one of the greatest things I've heard on this forum. :lol:

BALLZ-BROKEN said:
Chris has talked with Borb about sex, and he learned Bob was a virgin until he married (he was mid twenties) and Barb lost hers in High School. He also told Barb he faps in a cup so he doesn't make a mess, and he keeps his love doll in the kitchen.
We need a vomit smiley for occasions such as this. :|

The way my school introduced sex-ed was by gathering a few of the sixth grade classes together at once in the library and making us watch a video on sex, masturbation, and the functions of our bodies - pre-approved with a signed waiver from our parents of course because learning about our bodies and sex can be considered A SIN, I guess. Mind you this was viewed by both girls AND boys - together. You can imagine how mortifying it was to have all of the 12 year old boys asking us females if we got our periods and us ladies being hyper-aware that at any moment, a boy could have a surprise boner he's trying to conceal. Thank you, New York State Education. (We eventually did have other general health classes throughout middle and high school that touched upon contraception, STD's, and abortion. Oh, the stories I could tell.)
 
In short, Chris' views on sex are very, very skewed. I think the main reason he really wanted to lose his virginity is because that's what all adults do (thanks to the bland 90s media he's absorbed over the years) and by doing so he would finally be a big boy.
 
My memory of sex ed includes watching a movie about copulating moths, while some classmates passed a girly mag around, snickering,
 
BALLZ-BROKEN said:
Chris has talked with Borb about sex, and he learned Bob was a virgin until he married (he was mid twenties) and Barb lost hers in High School.
Lol, Chris actually believed that about his dad. His dad was a soldier in a war, he wasn't going to just "wait til he got home". Barb probably told him that to make him feel better.

BigAltheGreat921 said:
In short, Chris' views on sex are very, very skewed. I think the main reason he really wanted to lose his virginity is because that's what all adults do (thanks to the bland 90s media he's absorbed over the years) and by doing so he would finally be a big boy.
Nah, I think it was more about sex being something that both feels good and proves that he has a pretty woman who cares enough to babysit him. He's never really wanted to be an adult, he only says he does sometimes because that's what he thinks he needs to do to get somewhere with a sweetheart.
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
BALLZ-BROKEN said:
Chris has talked with Borb about sex, and he learned Bob was a virgin until he married (he was mid twenties) and Barb lost hers in High School.
Lol, Chris actually believed that about his dad. His dad was a soldier in a war, he wasn't going to just "wait til he got home". Barb probably told him that to make him feel better.
Yeah, that's a good point. And it's very likely that Barb was hoping Bob's made-up example would inspire Chris to stop being so overtly sexual to total strangers. Still, is this speculation or known fact?
 
ChurchOfGodBear said:
Alec Benson Leary said:
BALLZ-BROKEN said:
Chris has talked with Borb about sex, and he learned Bob was a virgin until he married (he was mid twenties) and Barb lost hers in High School.
Lol, Chris actually believed that about his dad. His dad was a soldier in a war, he wasn't going to just "wait til he got home". Barb probably told him that to make him feel better.
Yeah, that's a good point. And it's very likely that Barb was hoping Bob's made-up example would inspire Chris to stop being so overtly sexual to total strangers. Still, is this speculation or known fact?
was Chris ever really 'sexual' to strangers though?
the attraction sign was obviously meant to lead to him getting laid, but he never exactly said "please have sex with me"
 
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