The Top-N Lists - A little game of smart-ass comments

[Hummingbird]

The Top-N List is where someone starts up a top ten list and everyone adds to it (hence why it's called "Top N"). The Rules go as followed: Every Thrusday I will make a new topic (you can PM me with ideas for lists you'd like to see) and you can add your own answers on your post (this can go past ten). You can also add on to another person's line. There's no prizes other than hopefully making your fellow Kiwis laugh and being a smart-ass.

The Top N Signs You Need To Get Laid...

1) Your gerbil is looking at you with fear.
2) You never realized until now how damn sexy your 80-year-old, catatonic neighbor really is.
3) Everything you eat ends up being shaped into a phallic symbol.

Now it's your turn to add somethings.

 

[KM 749]

4) The lolcows are giving you more feelings than just pity and hilarity.

 

[Ballo]

5 do you always want to be a virgin loser instead of a chad

 

[Autistic Illuminati]

6) you start making top-N lists on kiwifarm

 

[Hat]

7) You're posting on Kiwi Farms.

 

[Hummingbird]

All your furniture has the faint smell of twat/jizz.
9) You don't just "have sex with a box of Kleenx", you stick your whole dick into the box.
10) You start going to furry porn sites unironiclly.

 

[KiwiMisetté]

11) You can't rate posts as :deviant:

 

[Shokew]

12) You watch too many cartoons/anime...
13) Same damn thing - only for worse reasons.

 

[A Welsh Cake]

14) a slight breeze gets you going

 

[Pepito The Cat]

15) Sitting on the same spot right after a girl leaves gets you hard.

 

[heymate]

16) You have every woman with a pretty-sounding name marked with a Sharpie in the White Pages for you to call and ask out.

 

[Hummingbird]

I decided to switch it to every three days where I'd put a new list to be continued on. And here it is...

The Top N Finishes to this famous line, "Are you pondering what I'm pondering? I think so Brain, but..."

1) "But even I think that idea is stupid."
2) "But I thought you were over your bicurious phase."
3) "But trust me, shaving a gorilla is not as fun or glamourous as it sounds."
4) "But didn't we already try that plan?"
5) "But I can still hear the screams of the last guy we killed in my nightmares."

 

[Doug_Hitzel]

6) “But AIDS is no longer a death sentence.”

 

[Hummingbird]

7) "But I don't want to do a porno."
"But Animaniacs hasn't aged well."
9) "But I think restrainting order that Donald Trump put on us is still in effect."
10) "But we're always gonna to fail no matter what we try."

 

[Burgers in the ass]

11) But I'm too busy making Top-N lists on Kiwi Farms.

 

[Yeeb-Renzo]

12) but my IQ isn’t nearly as high enough to understand these Top-N lists.

 

[Ballo]

13) but getting my dong removed sounds pretty stupid

 

[Hummingbird]

Time for the new one...

The Top N Responses When Your Parents Come In To Find The House a Mess...

1) "Ok mom, I had a major party and they trashed the place. There, I said it, now bring me my dinner, bitch."
2) "I don't know, I bet the Jews are behind it."
3) "A truck of peace plowed through so you might want to see if Timmy is still stuck under one of the tires."

 

[Pina Colada]

4) "Why yes, a tornado DID go through the house around the same time the bomb went off."

 

[Burgers in the ass]

5) "my Lolcow thread reached 5 posts, how else was i gonna celebrate?"