THE VACATION HAS STARTED!!!! - 7/9/18

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Claire said:
Wait a moment! Did our gorl have the orange chicken from THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY? That changes everything!

The Cheesecake Factory's Orange Chicken weighs in at a GUT-BUSTING 1800 calories!

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So that makes our gorl's TRUE AND HONEST total at:


"Breakfast"
Cracker Barrel Smoked Sausage Patties = 420 calories
2 Eggs Scrambled = 252 cals
Cracker barrel buttermilk biscuit with extra butter y'all! = 300 cals

"Lunch"
Orange Chicken = 1800 calories
Large coke = 310 calories

Total for a half day: 3082 cals!


ONLY 500 cals away from your maintenance, gorl! It must be so stressful to eat so little but for some reason keep gaining *sigh*
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No way these dishes are intended for a single person! And our gorl accompanied it with a LARGE coke? I feel nauseous(:_(

Bedbugs will be the cherry on top of her CHF. Gorl's poor heart surely won't stand that.
 
SweetDee said:
Imagine being on the top story of any building and it's on fire. Now imagine trying to run down the steps and encountering Amberlynn Reid, also trying to escape the flames. She's a walking fire hazard, and I'd shove her down the stairs without a second thought.
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I'm with you, but unfortunately I don't think she's going to budge unless you pratice with those weighted sleds that NFL linemen use. And double the amount of weights on it.
 
Hrothgar said:
I'm with you, but unfortunately I don't think she's going to budge unless you pratice with those weighted sleds that NFL linemen use. And double the amount of weights on it.
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You could just climb over her. She's short and her ass is big enough to use as a step.
 
easyaf said:
how many more fucking videos is she going to tard cum out of this?
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When she said she had 19 videos ready to go, was that before or after the "vacation"?

So far she's broken down the first day into 3 videos - packing, going, has started - if she keeps the trend going, there will be 12 or 15 videos total (they stayed there 4 or 5 days, right?)
She Who Dealt It said:
something wretchedly sweet
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That is the smell of death. Necrotic(dead) tissue will smell like that too. It could also be ketoacidosis.
SweetDee said:
and I'd shove her down the stairs without a second thought.
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It would be the logical thing to do. Not only you'd be saving your own life, but the lives of everyone behind you.
 
Long time lurker said:
When she said she had 19 videos ready to go, was that before or after the "vacation"?

So far she's broken down the first day into 3 videos - packing, going, has started - if she keeps the trend going, there will be 12 or 15 videos total (they stayed there 4 or 5 days, right?)
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Next video will be about the game of putt putt golf we saw in Eric's vlog a week ago.
Stayin relevant, y'all! Everyone pre-films!!
 
Dog Prom 3D said:
Fried macaroni and cheese. I got diarrhea just reading that. Regular mac and cheese is such a lovely, decadent comfort food when you make it from scratch. Why does it need to be fried on top of all the cheese? Because the cook looked at Becky and felt she was dangerously thin and needed the extra empty calories and saturated fat? Because American eating habits are so fucked that all we can taste are grease and salt so even the creamiest and emotionally satisfying food ever must be fried in order to be palatable?

I bet if someone fried a roll of duct tape and set it in front of Becky and Big Al, they'd ask for ranch and dig in.
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Americans have deep fried everything... we even have deep fried pickles.

SweetDee said:
Imagine being on the top story of any building and it's on fire. Now imagine trying to run down the steps and encountering Amberlynn Reid, also trying to escape the flames. She's a walking fire hazard, and I'd shove her down the stairs without a second thought.

Anyhow, think she's gonna name the bedbugs she's going to bring home in her filthy bedding? I guess they can hang out with the earwigs and roaches.
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Amber walking down the stairs... but how did she get up them? She had a hard time a 100 pounds ago in a Destiny video crawling up stairs. Now she's added on atleast 100lbs so she probably can't lift her legs enough to get up stairs. In the case she was going down even at 600lbs it would be easy to push her down since she lacks balance and any strength to stop a fall.
 
How do neither of them know what a luggage rack is?

“Gonna meet Eric and Rickey at the Cheesecake Factory!” Of course, of course you are. Why, or how, could we expect otherwise? And I’m sure she’ll be getting a full appetizer, full entree, and full, individual dessert for herself like she always does when she goes to the Cheesecake Factory. :story:
 
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Man forget bedbugs, I'm putting money down on scabies, depending on the types of motels they're staying at.

Actually, how do they not already have scabies? It's one of those things that she would just pass off as some rash from an allergic reaction to vegetables gorl
 
497 said:
In the case she was going down even at 600lbs it would be easy to push her down since she lacks balance and any strength to stop a fall.
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Correctamundo. Her "center" of gravity includes everything above the knees.

You'd have to do something drastic or your path might get blocked by a sleeping Amberlynn.
 
She Who Dealt It said:
This is a bit of a power level, but I think it’s relevant and it doesn’t reveal anything truly personal: I sold vehicles in a past life, and one day a death fat a little smaller than Amber came into the lot with her feeder, I mean boyfriend. First off, let me say that she smelled horrible. Like cheesy beer and something wretchedly sweet in the way a dead animal on the side of the road smells sweet. She was also a helluva a lot cleaner looking and more put together than Amber, but I can only assume one cannot become a hambeast without some seriously odiferous stuff happening amongst the folds.

Anyway, this large lady was on a budget, and wanted to test drive a compact car we had that she had seen advertised online. Well, actually she wanted her feeder, I mean boyfriend, to test drive it because she was much too large to get behind the wheel. Unfortunately, she couldn’t fit comfortably inside the vehicle and shut the door. I tried to steer her towards an SUV that could support and contain her mass, but she was unable to lift her leg high enough to hoist herself into the vehicle. So, as a last resort, I grabbed the keys to a minivan and that was the solution.

Many newer models of minivans have a recessed center console and removable seats. With the second row of seats taken out, a deathfat can push their seat remarkably far back into the cabin, and they’re also quite low to the ground.

Alas, a minivan costs significantly more than a compact car that a dealership uses for bait and switch purposes, so my ‘healthy but big’ customer didn’t have the credit score nor the income to procure such a vehicle. But Amber makes ten gees a month, so this solution to her vehicular woes should be just the ticket!

You’re welcome Big AL.
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Was it the Odgeday Andgray Aravancay? That model is the 4 seat station wagon of the deep south, go down into Tess Holiday country and there's one at every single intersection. What comes out will not be skinny.
 
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