The Worst movie ever made

Judge Holden

Judge Holden

The Immense and Terrible Flesh
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 12, 2013
On this subforum you may have seen threats talking about guilty pleasures, movies so bad they are good, movies you hate to watch, movies whose very existance you find an abomination.

This is not one of those threads.

Put simply, it is my estimation that we here have a good pool of bad movie aficionados, armature critics, peruses of the darker corners of the internet, and all around smartasses, and it is my belief that with this talent pooll we may embark on the most ambitious search in the long history of the cwcki room subforum.

We need to find THE worst movie ever made...

Im not talking "so bad its good" Plan 9 or Manos here, nor am I talking modern age tween shitfests like transformers or twilight. I am talking about a film so loathsome in production quality, so atrociously acted, scored, and written, and so vile in its intentions and messages that it is impossible to come away from this movie without feeling a burning desire to both vomit and punch someone.

Now this movie can be from any genre, and can include both commercially released documentaries

EDIT: actually no it cant since these dont really count as "films" per say

and feature length propaganda flicks made by various governments. the only rule is that the movie must have been made commercially availiable by theater (any type) video/dvd release, or other such media. Thus taking some shitty hour long youtube original movie is not an option.

EDIT: also I have decided to disallow mockbusters unless they are especially egregiously bad due to how such movies are pretty much made to be as shit and cheap as possible, for that reason I am also disallowing Zeltzer Frieberg flicks

What I want each person reading to do is to seek out and contribute what they feel to be the absolute worst film ever as well as your justification for declaring it the worst film ever. from there we might finally be able to anwer the eternal question of just what is the very worst movie ever made

good luck.
 
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inb4 "Garbage Pail Kids"

Seriously there is NOTHING to like about that film, I remember trying to watch it on YT but I couldn't finish it.
 
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"Nice girls don't explode."


Seriously awful. The trailer is 100 times better than the actual film, and the trailer is shit. There's no way to explain why it's the worst. You'd have to watch it.

(But seriously, don't watch it.)
 
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TastyWB 2.0 said:
inb4 "Garbage Pail Kids"

Seriously there is NOTHING to like about that film, I remember trying to watch it on YT but I couldn't finish it.
Click to expand...


probobly this, or if you are lookin for 'anime' theres this animated abortion called space thunder kids.

Oh sure, there are moments that garner a smirk with its chopped up animations from everything, but its so fucking boring. Nothing goes on in it. I would rather drink a bowl of piss rather then watch it again.
 
I have seen a handful of films worse than Garbage Pail Kids, and I wasn't too fond of that one.

Oasis of the Zombies (it has a bunch of different titles, but this is the one I call it): It's about some Nazis or zombies or some shit, and you'd think even a shitty movie about those two things might at least be funny but it isn't. I can barely remember anything that happened in the movie because it was all a shitty blur of music created by running your hand back and forth across a casio keyboard and vague zombie things happening.

Chairman of the Board: It has Carrot Top in it and he's not funny he's just a dick, to me it feels like watching the same movie three times because most major plot points are resolved and revisited three times. Probably less shitty than the other ones here but it's still fucking garbage.

Transmorphers: The Asylum ripoff of Transformers, the whole thing takes place in the following locations, green metal bunker ft. Lesbian soldiers, outside in a rainstorm ft. strobe lights and nowhere else. The robots look worse than the ones from Mechwarrior 2 and don't even transmorph. The plot also sucks, but that's kind of expected, the real problem is everything looks the same and nothing cool happens.

A Car's Life: Sparky's Big Adventure: Ripoff of Cars, and just awful. Every character is functionally retarded and an annoying piece of shit and the plot involves the whiny bitch car arguing with his dad for not letting him hang out with the nazis or whatever. I forget, it sucked though. It's my least favorite "movie".
 
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Attack of the killer refrigerator:
imdb summary: A group of teenagers get drunk and abuse a hapless refrigerator. The machine then goes on a killing rampage, eating the ones who beat him up.
need i say more?
which isn't to be confused with
The Refrigerator: which is solidly in the so bad it's good category.
 
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Zombie Nation.

If you don't know what that is...good. You're so much better off that way.
 
Horde Prime said:
I have not actually seen this one myself I admit, but a friend of mine is a huge movie fan, more so than me even and he says he would challenge anyone who THINKS they know what the worst movie ever is to watch Manos: The MANOS of Fate. It was featured on MST3K.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manos:_The_Hands_of_Fate
Click to expand...



lol "Manos: The MANOS of Fate"
 
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I just remembered this site and thought I'd share. I haven't looked at it in years but I've seen several of the films on there. A friend of mine sent it to me years ago when I was telling him about the movie "A Boy and his dog" that I had seen when I was a kid on cable and recognized Don Johnson in it but when I described what happened in the movie to my friends nobody ever believed me. Fun fact that movie is an inspiration for the Fallout games apparently.

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/
 
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Anything from the 90's staring a pro basketball player. Especially if it starred Shaq and also any things directed by Uwe Boll, I've seen kids on youtube shoot far more entertaining movies on zero budget.
 
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There is absolutely no film worse than Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvUmD2kP_g0

Seriously; even the Garbage Pail Kids movie tried to make their little abominations look like they did in the cards; they failed miserably, but at least they tried. This movie didn't even put any effort into it; they couldn't even get their editor to remove the credits from the movie-within-a-movie or at least find some stock footage of reindeer in the snow for a scene at the North Pole.
 
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Horde Prime said:
I just remembered this site and thought I'd share. I haven't looked at it in years but I've seen several of the films on there. A friend of mine sent it to me years ago when I was telling him about the movie "A Boy and his dog" that I had seen when I was a kid on cable and recognized Don Johnson in it but when I described what happened in the movie to my friends nobody ever believed me. Fun fact that movie is an inspiration for the Fallout games apparently.

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/
Click to expand...

Couldn't recommend this more. I've been a reader of that site for over a decade now - around Christmas time every year I go on there and peruse movies to suggest that my father get me. The reviews are pretty damn funny, as well as his time-lines and "things I learned from this movie". It's unfortunate my dad supports this habit...

One of the worst-worst movies I've ever seen is Singapore Sling. It's just... In the first forty minutes it's a pair of hams yelling and wringing their hands when they're not stuffing guns in their vaginas and trying to rape an unconscious man with a vague air of menace and no budget surrounding everything. I'm not sure where the IMDB rating came from.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53qwSyt1-3k
 
Foodfight! Yes, the exclaimiation mark is part of the title. This is up there with The American Rabbit and the entire Dingo Pictures library as the worst animated film ever. It was supposed to be released in 2003 but somebody on the production team (who probably knew how bad the movie was going to be) stole all the hard drives storing the animation, so they had to do the whole movie over from scratch. Because of all the product placement and licensing issues, this meant that the movie's release was pushed back until 2012. The only entertaining thing in the entire film is Christopher Lloyd hamming it up as the villian, but he gets less than 5 minutes of screentime so it's barely worth it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uROQ9nplxIY Here's the trailer if you want to subject yourself to its badness.
 
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I'm not sure if you were calling A Boy and his Dog bad or not, but it's pretty good my opinion. The cinematography can be dicey sometimes, the lighting somewhat bad, but it's plot and atmospheric tones are top notch. Telepathic dog+Cannibalistic morally bankrupt kid=Pretty rad movie.

My worst movie? Let's just use this as a placeholder for when the Return of the Living Dead remake comes out.
 
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