The Writing Thread

[Cripple]

For people who submit to markets:

SFF markets. I know of Clarkesworld (always submit there first because the turn-around is usually within a week), Strange Horizons & Lightspeed/Nightmare but I'd like a bigger net. Doesn't need to be a SFWA but does need to be paying.

I don't submit to Shimmer & Apex because (since I'm anon) my impression of Shimmer is they want nonsense that uses obscure words, plot not necessary, and Apex editors seem to only want big name writers, no matter what they say.

So if there's a paying SFF magazine you like, pays, and the editors aren't insufferable, please tell me.

 

[Juscum]

For people who submit to markets:

SFF markets. I know of Clarkesworld (always submit there first because the turn-around is usually within a week), Strange Horizons & Lightspeed/Nightmare but I'd like a bigger net. Doesn't need to be a SFWA but does need to be paying.

I don't submit to Shimmer & Apex because (since I'm anon) my impression of Shimmer is they want nonsense that uses obscure words, plot not necessary, and Apex editors seem to only want big name writers, no matter what they say.

So if there's a paying SFF magazine you like, pays, and the editors aren't insufferable, please tell me.

Clarkesworld rejected me very promptly! SH took a few weeks to reject me. Shimmer was my first ever rejection and they were incredibly unprofessional -- like, two sentences, included the words "Thanks, but I'm going to pass." I'm submitting something to Apex at the end of May.

Lamplight pays a little less, but I have a flash piece out there now. I also have longer pieces languishing in Asimov's queue and one off to Intergalactic Medicine Show.

I have a spreadsheet of 200+ magazines of various levels of prestige. I've moved a copy of it to an anonymous Google account and made it viewable to you because I'm just that nice. I've stripped out all my color-coding and dates and titles. The mags aren't in any particular order, but ones I feel like I have more of a chance with are closer to the top and I've pruned out all the ones I could find that were on hiatus.

Not to be a faggot but if you ever want to edit each other's stuff, I know I'd appreciate a set of eyes that's not just a friend flattering me. No pressure though.

 

[Cripple]

Clarkesworld rejected me very promptly! SH took a few weeks to reject me. Shimmer was my first ever rejection and they were incredibly unprofessional -- like, two sentences, included the words "Thanks, but I'm going to pass." I'm submitting something to Apex at the end of May.

Lamplight pays a little less, but I have a flash piece out there now. I also have longer pieces languishing in Asimov's queue and one off to Intergalactic Medicine Show.

I have a spreadsheet of 200+ magazines of various levels of prestige. I've moved a copy of it to an anonymous Google account and made it viewable to you because I'm just that nice. I've stripped out all my color-coding and dates and titles. The mags aren't in any particular order, but ones I feel like I have more of a chance with are closer to the top and I've pruned out all the ones I could find that were on hiatus.

Not to be a faggot but if you ever want to edit each other's stuff, I know I'd appreciate a set of eyes that's not just a friend flattering me. No pressure though.

Thanks for the list!

And I'd say just avoid Shimmer. I remember reading an article once about a lot of modern lit being pretentious purple prose that actually makes no sense when you break it down-- that's exactly what Shimmer prints if you actually read the work they publish. I can never understand what in the hell they want.

 

[Juscum]

And I'd say just avoid Shimmer. I remember reading an article once about a lot of modern lit being pretentious purple prose that actually makes no sense when you break it down-- that's exactly what Shimmer prints if you actually read the work they publish. I can never understand what in the hell they want.

I submitted a (pretty good, if I do say so myself) contemporary fantasy piece to them and they rejected it. That run, they published some fucking drivel about a light house that was ENTIRELY exposition. There was zero arc. Nothing happened. The protagonist didn't even have a name. They typed out an accent phonetically.

So fuck Shimmer.

I don't want to spam the thread so should we move to PMs?

 

[Dr. Meme]

anyone know any good ways to describe the taste of piss? i'm working on a sequale to my novel and i need to know how it tastes before i can accurately describe it.

I'm not drinking it myself if that's what you're about to suggest

 

[Kari Kamiya]

anyone know any good ways to describe the taste of piss? i'm working on a sequale to my novel and i need to know how it tastes before i can accurately describe it.

I'm not drinking it myself if that's what you're about to suggest

Before I Google'd it, I tended to imagine it tasted salty or sour, like (watered-down) lemonade that went bad.

When I Google'd it (first link I clicked on), it varies, but most seem to agree that it's warm, and salty, maybe bitter depending on the color/age of the urine--but healthy people have a bit of salt in their urine. Now someone from that link brought up that someone who's diabetic will have urine that has a sweeter taste due to the glucose. 'Course, that's not going into how smell factors into it...

So probably not too hard to choke down depending on the dietary intake, but the imagery alone isn't very pleasant, so it should invoke that kind of reaction.

 

[Dr. Meme]

Before I Google'd it, I tended to imagine it tasted salty or sour, like (watered-down) lemonade that went bad.

When I Google'd it (first link I clicked on), it varies, but most seem to agree that it's warm, and salty, maybe bitter depending on the color/age of the urine--but healthy people have a bit of salt in their urine. Now someone from that link brought up that someone who's diabetic will have urine that has a sweeter taste due to the glucose. 'Course, that's not going into how smell factors into it...

So probably not too hard to choke down depending on the dietary intake, but the imagery alone isn't very pleasant, so it should invoke that kind of reaction.

this wouldve been good to know an hour ago, but thanks anyways, I got my description.

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

Before I Google'd it, I tended to imagine it tasted salty or sour, like (watered-down) lemonade that went bad.

When I Google'd it (first link I clicked on), it varies, but most seem to agree that it's warm, and salty, maybe bitter depending on the color/age of the urine--but healthy people have a bit of salt in their urine. Now someone from that link brought up that someone who's diabetic will have urine that has a sweeter taste due to the glucose. 'Course, that's not going into how smell factors into it...

So probably not too hard to choke down depending on the dietary intake, but the imagery alone isn't very pleasant, so it should invoke that kind of reaction.

No actually that is a common misconception. If one drinks the healthy amount of water (that is 8-10 cups per day) their urine should have almost no taste, salty or otherwise. It's like slightly acidic water, or dilute juice kind of. Of course most people don't consume as much water as they should so that should be taken into account.

And yeah the color is the main variable. Amber or honey-colored piss (from a severely dehydrated person) will be very sour and somewhat bitter too, like you mentioned. I think we've all gotten piss that's kinda green at some point for whatever reason and that will be more bitter too, like green tea.

Second, the pee of a diabetic person is much, much sweeter, both in smell and in taste. Along with the constant thirst it was the initial symptom of diabetes for me, and it occurred before weight loss or any of the other markers. Unfortunately I didn't know this at the time and just shrugged it off, allowing the disease to go untreated for a month or two—PSA to all readers don't do this if you notice it.

 

[disco skunk]

Any more seasoned writers with advice for me?

If you have a spare $15 or so, order a copy of 'On Writing' by Stephen King off BookDepository.Com and read it. Half autobiography, half 'tips from someone who does this for a living' stuff, it's an easy read and he even takes you through several edits of one of his pieces so you can see his process at work.

His comments on editing [which even include a fairly simple word-count formula for before and after, if you can believe that] make good sense, and he has a lot of stories about the application process and they types of rejection letters you can and will receive. I think you'd get a lot out of it.

If you buy the book and honestly, hand on heart, tell me you think it's shit and hasn't helped you, I'll commit to doing 3 hours of proof-reading for you gratis, as a mea culpa because I love my fancy fucking Latin words.

 

[Predator_Too]

I'm in the almost-absolute-final steps of self-publishing my first novel. I'm just waiting to hear back from my editors. When I am unmasked here, I do hope you can enjoy the novel for yourselves.

 

[Dr. Meme]

He took his fist and lubed it up until he could barely grip any of the toys he lodged deep in my anal cavity. "Now I'm no doctor" he said, "But you might feel some slight discomfort in your balls."

What the fuck dude.

 

[Locksnap]

Spoiler: NSFW story

me cumm

 

[Orc Girls Make Due]

What the fuck dude.

You ain't quoting me.

 

[Bob Page]

I am writing a story treatment for a Starcraft 2 custom campaign I plan to make.

Spoiler: For those who are interested

- It would take place 19 years after LotV and 17 years after the Nova Covert Ops Campaign

-The United Earth Directorate will return to conquer the Koprulu Sector with their big guns and not stuff pilfered from dominion space.

-One of the UED officers will be the son of Admiral DuGalle(Who an heroed at the end of Brood War.)

-A lot of the characters from the books will be making appearances in some form.

-It will be a war story with the intention of capturing the tone of the old games.

-It would be kind of like Mass Effect 3, where you gather a large force for a last stand against a larger threat.

 

[Dr. Meme]

You ain't quoting me.

sure, cover your tracks you disgusting degenerate

 

[DeadwastePrime]

thought i'd share a short prologue for something i began to write because that other thing is on a hiatus for god knows how long and at least i'm more determined to write up and finish this because it'd be for a writing contest i'm entering

Spoiler: 400 words of something

Late into the afternoon, Ellis locked up the store begun to close up shop for another night. The old shopkeeper was already tired from his long day of work and was ready to go home. He began walking down the beaten dirt road he always walked on for years. The Texan sun was nearly gone, the frogs croaked in their ponds, the crickets in the distance chirped their lively tunes, some fireflies lit up the evening bright, and just before arriving at his home, he heard his mongrel of a dog barking off nearby. Probably got loose and spooked the neighbor’s cat he thought to himself, but when he finally saw his Jack Russell mutt on the road barking at something in a thorny pit, he thought that maybe something must’ve been wrong. He walked over to the pit and saw a humanoid shape stuck in the thorny bushes torn to shreds. At first, he thought it was a dead kid who got attacked by a couple of coyotes, but upon further inspection, he noticed the couple stray strands of straw poking out of the thing and it’s worn, black buttoned eyes. It was an old scarecrow. The old man bent down to the mutt.

“Calm down snapper,” he told his dog, rubbing the animal’s ears, “it’s just an old scarecrow down there. No reason to worry.” he picked the dog up and resumed walking back home, the dog continually barking at the old brush now surrounded by black crows flocking to the area. The man still had to wonder. What was a scarecrow doing this far from any farm land? And why was his dog so concerned about it. It wasn’t like it was alive or anything. Scarecrows were inanimate objects that didn’t even stave off a single crow. They don’t have feelings, a consciousness, or something in them that’d keep them alive. It was just a old scarecrow, he thought to himself, why was snapper so interested in it?

Meanwhile, in the thorny brush pit, the scarecrow lay stuck on a thorny bush, unable to move. It’s mouth picked apart, rendering it unable to call for help. It’s straw guts poured out onto the ground damp and moldy. A murder of crows surrounded the thing, ready to start picking again. Helpless and unable to yell for help, the old scarecrow sheds a tear from its only remaining eye button left.

feel free to leave some criticism for this

 

[Octopuff in kumquat]

I've been working on something dumb for the last 10+ years, that has even less chance than Sonichu (copyright) of being published, yet I feel I'm only doing it for me, and any friends who'll be into it. I've never been artistic in any way, especially when it comes to drawing, but always loved writing and I almost always aced my English classes (apart from boring poetry).

Perhaps, that's the true essence of writing. You want it done for yourself. But that's just my thought.

 

[Animewasamistake]

i have been slowly writing a story about the rise and fall of a galactic empire, i go to page 20 and kind of fizzled out

 

[Warden Cross]

I've got an idea swirling around in my head, had it for a while, but actually starting to write it -- that's the problem. Can't figure out how to begin. Normally I'll develop and deepen concepts while writing the rough first draft, but hell, I've never had this much trouble actually getting something started.

 

[DeadwastePrime]

thought i'd share a short prologue for something i began to write because that other thing is on a hiatus for god knows how long and at least i'm more determined to write up and finish this because it'd be for a writing contest i'm entering

Spoiler: 400 words of something

Late into the afternoon, Ellis locked up the store begun to close up shop for another night. The old shopkeeper was already tired from his long day of work and was ready to go home. He began walking down the beaten dirt road he always walked on for years. The Texan sun was nearly gone, the frogs croaked in their ponds, the crickets in the distance chirped their lively tunes, some fireflies lit up the evening bright, and just before arriving at his home, he heard his mongrel of a dog barking off nearby. Probably got loose and spooked the neighbor’s cat he thought to himself, but when he finally saw his Jack Russell mutt on the road barking at something in a thorny pit, he thought that maybe something must’ve been wrong. He walked over to the pit and saw a humanoid shape stuck in the thorny bushes torn to shreds. At first, he thought it was a dead kid who got attacked by a couple of coyotes, but upon further inspection, he noticed the couple stray strands of straw poking out of the thing and it’s worn, black buttoned eyes. It was an old scarecrow. The old man bent down to the mutt.

“Calm down snapper,” he told his dog, rubbing the animal’s ears, “it’s just an old scarecrow down there. No reason to worry.” he picked the dog up and resumed walking back home, the dog continually barking at the old brush now surrounded by black crows flocking to the area. The man still had to wonder. What was a scarecrow doing this far from any farm land? And why was his dog so concerned about it. It wasn’t like it was alive or anything. Scarecrows were inanimate objects that didn’t even stave off a single crow. They don’t have feelings, a consciousness, or something in them that’d keep them alive. It was just a old scarecrow, he thought to himself, why was snapper so interested in it?

Meanwhile, in the thorny brush pit, the scarecrow lay stuck on a thorny bush, unable to move. It’s mouth picked apart, rendering it unable to call for help. It’s straw guts poured out onto the ground damp and moldy. A murder of crows surrounded the thing, ready to start picking again. Helpless and unable to yell for help, the old scarecrow sheds a tear from its only remaining eye button left.

feel free to leave some criticism for this

goddammit i forgot to be dedicated to this project and moved onto like 20 other ideas why the fuck