The Writing Thread

This wonderfully awful idea came to me recently...

Elmo: James Woods, Elmo wants to know why Mr. Trump doesn't like those "undocumented people".

James Woods: Think of it this way Elmo: Let's say there's a stand selling fresh apple pies.

Elmo: Oh boy!

James Woods: And you managed to save enough pocket money and sit through a long line to get one. Just when you're about to get one, someone else rushes in, cuts in front of you and demands a pie; not caring they they didn't bother to bring any money with them. How would take make you feel?

Elmo: That would make Elmo sad.

James Wood: That's how a lot of us feel when people get into the country illegally.

Elmo: Elmo thinks if you're going to get something, it should be fairly and honestly.

James Woods: Now you got it.

Elmo: (Goes over to hug him.) Let's build that wall.
I rated it autistic, but I genuinely love this. More. MORE!
 
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I need some help with how to get around my novels winding themselves up at the 39,000 word mark. Every time I set out to write a 88,000 (Ideal debut novel range) the story wraps up at the 39,000 word mark. I've tried doing a novel in stories thing where all three novels tie together, but when I do that the tie in stories are even shorter and I usually fall about five to ten thousand short of 88,000 which is a death sentence. I have thought about trying to write Middle Grade Books but the last time I attempted it I found that the agents that wanted it either wanted it written by an established author or weren't interested in Vampire Bulldozers duking it out with Zombie Portajohns
 
everyone tells me my writing is good and i just see it as personal and edgy but im gonna share it anyways in snips at least cuz uhhhhhhh edge
some are minorly violent and have some minor religious stuff in past i apologize
on the day we die we will become twin spirits and haunt these hollow woods. you are so beautiful in the night, i feel like i have become a fright to your eyes. know this my love, my dear, my honey bear. what we carry on our shoulders, will never replace the weight of living in a world such as ours. so let’s take a leap of faith. Isn’t that what you wanted for us? i’m scared of you. your brown eyes are now red and the blue of your soul has become pitch black. i’m becoming a vile sort of hollow. i’m frightened by you. you are now a big bad wolf. yet, i am not red riding hood.
you know, the feeling you get when you see the reminders. the reminders of your stupid decisions you made. the reminders of what you let go when you shouldn’t have. what you didn’t fight against. you wrap your hands around it’s neck. you see the fear in it’s eyes. the reflection of you in it’s eyes, doesn’t seem to exist. it’s facial expression turns to fear, with hot tears swimming in its eyes. blinking feels so slow, breathing is heavy, you let go. it falls to the ground. it lays like a fallen child that fell face first over it’s own feet. you breathe, you inhale, you exhale but the heavy feeling in your chest gets worse. you feel bile in your throat. hot and vile. you choke on your own spit as tears cascade down your face. you look down at it. it’s broken. a bit filthy. a bit tattered. more likely needs stitched back together. you pick up the small thing, its turning it so your face meets it. a rag doll.. it hurts to see a reminder that is so small but harmful.
You are gone from life like a hunting knife slicing a throat. Quick and painless. Yet, it wasn’t painless. It’s like you have just disappeared into thin air, a cryptid on this earth that only i saw. You said snow was your favorite thing about nature, i hope you have found a home hidden deep in thick snowy forests.
I crack your rib cage, your heart becomes exposed.. how dirty it is, how dark and black and horror filled.. you have a name of a saint.. You are a sinner that’s far from a Saint. I kiss your cheek softly, as I caress your tear stained cheeks. I sing a lullaby as I rock you in my arms, just like a dad would to child.. . I whisper into your ears so quietly. words of endearment. you can barely hear it over your struggle to breathe. You take your last breath as I whisper something so hysterical sounding into your ears and all you hear is my words, resounding over and over.

“ Now choke on your tainted words.”
*blows on a kazoo while doing jazz hands* i suk
 
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Would it be too depressing if in my romantic sub-plot, the two parties don’t get together at the end due to one of them dying and the other suffers from amnesia?
 
I had a couple of short stories published a few years ago but I haven't written anything since. I feel a bit silly as I got paid for them and one of them got an 'honorable mention' at the end of a quite reputable 'best of year' anthology. I need to start writing again but honestly its been so long I'm just not feeling it.

I recommend http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/ if anyone is interested in writing sci fi/fantasy/horror. It helped me with my writing.
 
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This semester, I've been working on a novel that I started in freshman year and only began revisiting in junior year. I told my professor that my goals were for a wordcount of 80,000~. He said I wouldn't be able to do that in just one semester. I'm at 77,000 right now.

The secret is giving your protagonist a sidekick who really wants to go on a killing spree.
Really, really late here, but, uh. Rather prophetic.
 
I need some help with how to get around my novels winding themselves up at the 39,000 word mark. Every time I set out to write a 88,000 (Ideal debut novel range) the story wraps up at the 39,000 word mark. I've tried doing a novel in stories thing where all three novels tie together, but when I do that the tie in stories are even shorter and I usually fall about five to ten thousand short of 88,000 which is a death sentence. I have thought about trying to write Middle Grade Books but the last time I attempted it I found that the agents that wanted it either wanted it written by an established author or weren't interested in Vampire Bulldozers duking it out with Zombie Portajohns

I don't think that's necessarily a flaw. If you can wrap up your stories in 39,000 words then just write 39,000 words, no need to bloat it if you've said everything you had to. If you really want an easy way to buff up the word count, I would say that you would have to add more conflict to your stories to extend them before you reach the ending or add a larger cast of characters for you to explore. But again, I'm of the mindset that if you've said everything you need to, there's no issue writing with lower word counts. With how short attention spans are these days, that might actually be a positive quality.
 
I'm thinking of getting more into writing fiction (and possibly fan fiction as well) as a hobby, I think it would be a fun means to pass the time.

The problem is that I tend to get all ADHD and jump from one concept to the next, never really getting anywhere with any of them, most of the ideas don't even make it past the outline phase. However, I will try to work on remedying that issue.

I did have an idea for a story that is essentially a fantasy RPG story that I think might be fun to write.

Think along the lines of Dungeons & Dragons or old-school Final Fantasy. Yeah, there are a lot of cliches and other stereotypes and archetypes in that genre and in the outline for my story concept, but it's all in good fun. Still have not written the first chapter yet.

As autistic as this sounds, I even assigned character classes to the five protagonists so I can better conceptualize them.

Specifically, the characters are a Fighter, a Mage, a Thief, a Cleric, and a Martial Artist. Again, it's the typical RPG cliches lifted straight from D&D, but I like it.

I'll link you guys to the first chapter when it's posted and keep you updated.
 
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Fiction writer here. I've been writing since I was about three or four years old, though most of it has been fan fiction that I don't usually post to the internet (but I must confess I'm not really enjoying being a part of the fanfic community anymore for reasons I won't go into unless asked about). I primarily write horror stuff, and at the moment I'm working on rewriting a pokemon fanfic I made about 2 years ago (which can be found here for those of you who're interested) and I'm determined to complete it so that I can at least say that I finally saw one of my projects through to the end.
 
Just started writing a story on the fly if anyone is interested.

It's a semi-post apocalyptic story set in an Alternate History where the Cold War never ended and World War III broke out between NATO and the Soviet Union.

Unlike most depictions of World War III, instead of going nuclear, the war grinds on for so long that a global economic collapse happens and both civilian society and military command structures break down, resulting in chaos.

Some of my inspirations include The Odyssey, the original Red Dawn, and Twilight 2000.
 
I’m almost done writing my first draft after four and a half years(most of which involved me nuking the entire draft and starting all over again) and I gotta say, it’s a bittersweet feeling knowing I’m so close to the ending even though it’s not going to end well for my protagonist and her love interest.

It’s a simple fantasy that is only ringing up to 55,000 words so far (I predict I’ll be around 60,000 by the time I write ‘The End”).

I’m both dreading and looking forward to editing this thing so it becomes more readable for my poor betas.
 
Maybe somebody here can help. I've fully completed the first draft of my first book. Without being an arrogant asshole, it is pretty good, but it's only a first draft. Writing the fucker was easy. But re-writing, editing and additions are fucking taking FOREVER!!! I doubt I'm even halfway done with the first re-write. Now it's become really hard work. But this is the difference between horse shit and a really good manuscript to submit. I just can't face it on most days. Fuck!!!
 
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