- Joined
- Feb 10, 2019
Today I learned that through one side of my family, I'm descended from Captain John Underhill, a Puritan-turned-Quaker who massacred Pequot Indians in the 1630s. This isn't a powerlevel because this guy had like a dozen kids from two different wives and there's thousands upon thousands of people (including John Kerry, apparently) descended from this one lawfully-married murderous fuck machine.
Apparently he only managed to get the Pequot because the local Mohawks helped him out, though. Those tribes didn't like each other. So if I want mass murder bona fides, I'm gonna have to go out and earn them myself.
That man used his gun a lot. He also used his rifle a great deal.