Don't eat string cheese you'll get constipated, and that's one of the least dignified things a person can be (or at least it was prior to the advent of web 2.0).
You can't even tell people about it really, nobody wants to hear about how you can't defecate properly or excuses as to why you look so decrepit and bloated or why there's so much angry grunting coming from the bathroom. Constipation is very othering as the people on Twitter might say.
Fingers should not touch the cheese at all. Use your front teeth to flay off strips after peeling back the wrapper most of the way. This method is barbarous, leaving a gnawed core as the cheese peels and is not recommended in front of your significant other, but it prevents adulteration of the cheese by skin oils and is oh so satisfying.
Also, string cheese that is not all mozzarella does not peel correctly and is thus wrong. Do not be tempted by the combination pack as biting off hunks of the stick will be your only option.
My string cheese got mixed up with tomato sauce, and crusty dough, an then all this pepperoni fell on top of it! I wanted to hear it up, an all this nonsense melded together ok, but the only way I could stor it was in this thin cardboard box.
Crazy world.
My cat likes string cheese.
Or "cheese strings". As there is only one brand of string cheese available here. By that very name.
She doesn't have much interest in human food (to a genuinely retarded extent, she is more exited for her cat filth than spare bits of chicken and meat, etc)
But cheese strings she loves.
Your American string cheese can't compare to the glory of brined bulgarian string cheese (Chechil), so salty you feel your brain lining shrinking with every bite. You eat it with unwashed hands after a hard day of working illegally on a construction site and beating your wife, as is tradition:
Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has no logo or watermark!
I know armenians claim to have invented it and this is actually a pic of the turkish version but a bulgi introduced it to me so bulgarian string cheese it is.
