Tips For Eating String Cheese - Tip-Top Tips

[Cats]

Hello today myself Cats will be teaching you how to properly eat String Cheeses.

Step 1: Wash underneath your nails. You don't wanna transfer any of the filth you pick up while scratching yourself to the clean cheese.

Step 2: Select the right String Cheese for you. Experiment to discover your Cheese Personality and the cheese that speaks to you.

Step 3: Peel the wrappage off of the stick of String Cheese

Step 4: cover all exposed nerve endings.

Step 5: Gently but firmly place a fingernail into the supple flesh of the cheese.

Step 6: Peel.

Step 7: Place the string inside of your mouth and consume that string of delicious Cheese.

Step 8: Swallow the chewed cheese.

You can repeat processes 3 through 8 until how ever many Sticks you want to eat are gone.

 

[Kiwi On The Go]

Instructions unclear. String cheese got stuck in urethra.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Don't eat string cheese you'll get constipated, and that's one of the least dignified things a person can be (or at least it was prior to the advent of web 2.0).

You can't even tell people about it really, nobody wants to hear about how you can't defecate properly or excuses as to why you look so decrepit and bloated or why there's so much angry grunting coming from the bathroom. Constipation is very othering as the people on Twitter might say.

#ConstipationRights

 

[Cats]

Instructions unclear. String cheese got stuck in urethra.

If this happens just wait for your crackhead to suck it out when he gives you your weekly blowie for his fix.

Step 9, I guess.

 

[winterfag]

as an actual tip, you can bread them and fry them to make homemade mozzarella sticks (or whatever cheese they converted into stringy-block form)

you can also stick skewers in them this way to eat them like they're a korean street food

 

[Cat tit bingo]

Hello today myself Cat tit bingo will be teaching you how to autisicly eat String Cheeses.

Step 1: kneed the cheese inside the wrapper until soft

Step 2: chew on wrapper to weaken its structural integrity

Step 3: puncher the wrapper with a tooth preferably your canine

Step 4: simultaneously suck and squeeze the wrapper causing a single string of soft cheese to shoot out.

Step 5: continuesly fold the bottom up pushing the cheese up and out of the hole.

Step 6: discard saliva drenched plastic

Step 7: play with your Lego and sonic toys

 

[Cats]

WRONG WRONGWRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONGWRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WONG WRONGWRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONGWRONGWRONG WRONMG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGW RONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WORNG WRONGWRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONGWRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONGWRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONGWRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONGWRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONGWRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONGWRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG

 

[Pygmy Giraffe]

Where does this post fall within the Trent's Anus canon?

 

[I'm Not Racist Anymore]

Mozzarella is for kids, Maggot cheese is what a growing boy (manchild) needs.

 

[The Nightman]

Thank you Cats, very cool

 

[Nitro!]

Bump.

Fingers should not touch the cheese at all. Use your front teeth to flay off strips after peeling back the wrapper most of the way. This method is barbarous, leaving a gnawed core as the cheese peels and is not recommended in front of your significant other, but it prevents adulteration of the cheese by skin oils and is oh so satisfying.

Also, string cheese that is not all mozzarella does not peel correctly and is thus wrong. Do not be tempted by the combination pack as biting off hunks of the stick will be your only option.

 

[Cornfed]

My string cheese got mixed up with tomato sauce, and crusty dough, an then all this pepperoni fell on top of it! I wanted to hear it up, an all this nonsense melded together ok, but the only way I could stor it was in this thin cardboard box.
Crazy world.

 

[AfghanBlue]

My cat likes string cheese.
Or "cheese strings". As there is only one brand of string cheese available here. By that very name.

She doesn't have much interest in human food (to a genuinely retarded extent, she is more exited for her cat filth than spare bits of chicken and meat, etc)
But cheese strings she loves.


@Cornfed sounds absolutely disgusting.

 

[LGTV]

Open the wrapper a bit then throw that bitch in the microwave for like 10 seconds. It's so much better.

 

[Cats]

I don't remember writing any of this.

 

[The Feline Solution]

Your American string cheese can't compare to the glory of brined bulgarian string cheese (Chechil), so salty you feel your brain lining shrinking with every bite. You eat it with unwashed hands after a hard day of working illegally on a construction site and beating your wife, as is tradition:

Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has no logo or watermark!

I know armenians claim to have invented it and this is actually a pic of the turkish version but a bulgi introduced it to me so bulgarian string cheese it is.

 

[Roast Chicken]

Are you talking about about real stringy cheese or this shit?

Because if it's the latter then my tip is: Don't