Tips on getting rich

[fashion]

Well, I hear sugar daddies give money and expensive things to their sugar babies.
Only downside is, you have to be an attractive female with a little bit of charisma. Or at least know how to use makeup and seduce old dudes.

 

[d12]

Buy low, sell high

 

[Hal]

Do the easy thing....


Become a prostitute!

 

[2 litre soda]

I hear the Sierra Madre mountains in Mexico are laden with gold, if you're up for a prospecting mission.

 

[Maxliam]

Chumps, the lot of you.

Here’s how you do it...

Marry well.

I was skiing in Park City last week, I’ll be cruising in the Caribbean next week, and I have a hot tub.

Marry for the money.

AC-DC, bitches

So kidnapping you and ransoming might be profitable, eh?

 

[Milk Mage]

Just lead a military junta in some South American shithole. Venezuela seems the most profitable (Political instability, large oil reserves). Get that latin cash, get that latin ass

 

[Malodorous Merkin]

So kidnapping you and ransoming might be profitable, eh?

My wife would probably offer you tree fiddy to get me back, and she might throw in a half-eaten Slim Jim if you drove a hard bargain.

 

[Maxliam]

Just lead a military junta in some South American shithole. Venezuela seems the most profitable (Political instability, large oil reserves). Get that latin cash, get that latin ass

Latin ass in this case being Karla Spice....I'll invade Caracas for that.

My wife would probably offer you tree fiddy to get me back, and she might throw in a half-eaten Slim Jim if you drove a hard bargain.

I need about tree fiddy for the box of cookies I'm sellin'.

 

[SweetDee]

Save, invest, and be as self-sufficient as you're able.

 

[Carlos Thin]

Do what my mom does: have a loaded family and don't spend any money ever.

Spoiler

and yes, she's Jewish

 

[Un Platano]

When you buy things that are supposed to last, don't buy cheap things. Buying cheap doesn't save you any money because they'll break and then you'll have to buy another one. This is especially true with clothes. If there's a pair of shoes that cost $40 and a pair that costs $80, the 80 dollar pair is usually a better investment because the $40 pair will fall apart after a year if you're wearing them every day. And if you're not wearing the same pair of shoes every day, you should be.

 

[Maxliam]

Save, invest, and be as self-sufficient as you're able.

Also don't look like a bird, Dee.

Do what my mom does: have a loaded family and don't spend any money ever.

Spoiler

and yes, she's Jewish

Well now, sounds like we need to gas you. Kike.

When you buy things that are supposed to last, don't buy cheap things. Buying cheap doesn't save you any money because they'll break and then you'll have to buy another one. This is especially true with clothes. If there's a pair of shoes that cost $40 and a pair that costs $80, the 80 dollar pair is usually a better investment because the $40 pair will fall apart after a year if you're wearing them every day. And if you're not wearing the same pair of shoes every day, you should be.

Yep. I only have one pair of dress shoes, one pair of sneakers, one pair of work boots that will last for a long ass time and that's really it. I have the same pair of jeans from a long time ago. It's amazing what will last a long time.

Also, steal things. Steal everything you can. It's a finder-keepers kind of thing.

 

[SweetDee]

Also don't look like a bird, Dee.

Don't tell me how to live my life!

 

[Picklechu]

1. Don't spend money on stupid shit. Have some self control. Don't buy a new/flashy car - they depreciate in value as soon as you drive off the lot. Get something used and reliable, and pay cash if possible.

2. If you can get really, really good at something, and there's a market for it, then do it. Otherwise, pick something you can be at least mediocre at that there's a large market for (STEM, healthcare, etc). Use that to get a job that isn't completely shitty.

3. Use credit cards, but don't go into debt - pay them in full each month. This saves you a small amount, and provides an extra layer of security to your transactions. It's also the easiest way to build credit.

4. Build an emergency fund. 6 months is recommended, but it shouldn't be less then 3, and a full year is ideal. I personally have 18 months, but I was stuck working as a fucking receptionist with a master's degree (in history...) a couple of years ago, so I feel more comfortable having some fuck you money.

5. Pay off all debts with interest rates over 6%. Credit cards, whatever, pay that shit off. Market returns average out above that, so anything with an APR below that isn't as worrisome.

6. If your employer offers a 401k or other retirement plan with matching, pay in up to the match. It's basically free money.

7. Still have extra income? Max out your IRA or Roth IRA.

8. More? Go back and max out your 401k or whatever the hell your employer offers.

9. Still have more? Put that shit in index funds. Vanguard is what I use (and what most people I know use). There are other vehicles, but index funds offer the most consistent, safe returns for the risk. Don't buy individual stocks - you aren't going to beat the market. It's basically gambling. If you do buy individual stocks, do not make it a large part of your portfolio (I personally limit myself to $1.75K for now, which is honestly probably too high, so I should probably sell some and get down to $1K, although I'm like 30+ years from retirement and can accept the risk).

10. You still have more cash? Congrats, you're probably rich.

 

[Count groudon]

Spend weeks out in the wild capturing mice, like every day for 3 to 6 hours just run around trying to find as many of the little bastards as you can. Take them home, set up a little mouse farm in a room you don’t use much, spend a couple of hours a day training them to be obedient. Eventually start throwing loose change on the floor, order them to grab it and bring it to you. Do this for a few more weeks, gradually expanding the radius of the area where you hide the change each time. Once you feel they’re sufficiently trained, start releasing them into the surrounding area and tell them that they can’t come back unless they find something. Eventually after a few raiding trips, the little mice will garner you a small fortune in loose money.

I tried it with crows last year, but they out smarted me and took all the money after pecking me into a coma.