Today I have... Thread.

Today I detained an illegal and handed him off to ICE. It's rare when I get to do that, but feels so gratifying (except when the federal courts allow them pretrial release even when they've been convicted of trafficking heroin).

In this guy's case, Mexico definitely wasn't sending their best!
 
I have an online friend who's been hitting some major psychological and financial problems lately. Things have gotten so hard that I empathetically listened to her politically rant and feel like her life has no meaning. I thought of offering her some money to help her, but I don't even know if she's telling the truth (and this isn't a trick) and I don't want her becoming too dependant on me so I kept my mouth shut. So I just read her posts on our private chat and try to be supportive.

On one side it made me so much more thankful for what I have, but I also feel sad for her.
 
This was actually yesterday but that's close enough, I had a really awkward interaction with a guy going around my campus asking people if they know why we really celebrate Christmas. This resulted in a really long awkward amount of evangelical word salad and me occasionally responding with a "yeah...yeah...well I'm pagan..." He insinuated that pagans receiving messages from their gods are actually being deceived by evil spirits because the lord is the only waaaaay and if I ever "get tired" of the pagan thing I can come be saved by the looooooooooooord. He wasn't even telling me to join a specific church or group, he just wanted me to drink the kool-aid too.
Good thing I didn't mention being a Cernunnos worshipper, any talk of a horned god would have ended badly.
He also said something along the lines of "If a man claims to be the Messiah and the son of God, he's probably worth listening to." Bruh, that means a person is bugnuts. Like you.
 
Today I purchased my Christmas presents for my parents and my sister. I also nearly hit a goose that was flying low over the road. I think he'd been drinking. Should I have called the cops? He was flying erratically.
 
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The JonesHat family does not merely celebrate Christmas on Christmas day, oh no. The festivities kick off tomorrow (we're trying very hard to make Christmas Eve Eve a thing) so today, we cook! So far, we've got sausage balls, glazed pretzels, and Chex party mix and more is on the way.
 
Today I'm lying in bed and wondering what is the point of my life.
Tell about it man. I've been playing this game for 42 years and I gotta say, it sucks. I have no idea what the main quest is, and most of the side quests seem rather pointless. The combat system is pretty brutal, and the XP system is confusing as fuck. I mean, you have to actually work to improve a skill. Also, I can't seem to reroll my stats, there doesn't seem to be a magic system at all, and where do I buy the alien invasion DLC? This is getting boring. Stupid game. Oh yeah, logging out can only be done once, and you can't log back in as far as anyone knows.
 
Today I bought a cat. She's very cuddly, just the way I like them. The old cat ain't so happy though. She's been hissing at her own face in the mirror all day because she's most probably an exceptional individual.
All cats are.
 
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Today I was reminded not everyone is a complete and utter shitbag. I came in to work and there was a 12 pack of some nice variety ipa beer on my desk. I just don't know who it was from, and I don't know what awful thing will happen next due to this act of anonymous goodwill. Let's hope it's not poisoned.
 
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I went to the casino today. I don't like to gamble, I just enjoy marveling at the genetic rejects that frequent casinos during the day. I like to play my favorite game, and it doesn't cost any money: too many chromosomes or not enough? I'll occasionally put a dollar in a slot machine so casino security doesn't throw me out. Also, their bar is the only one I've found that has gluten-free beer so I go there.
 
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