Today I have... Thread.

[Dogs can't look up]

Today I really wanted a few fingers of bourbon but dropped the bottle after taking it out of the cupboard, shattering it. I considered licking some off the kitchen tile but what little dignity I have left stopped me at the last moment.

 

[killmeme]

Today I spent good 5h choosing which plane ticket I should pick to visit my bf. Being skimpy is a disease.

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

Had a three-hour long WhatsApp tech support call from a guy in Erbil, Iraq.

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

Slept till noon, got up, changed the oil in my truck, sold an old travel trailer, and cleaned out behind the drier.

Ahhhh, domestic bliss.

 

[Schmeckel]

Today I... Rearranged a shed, sorted through new and old clothes for the crotch-fruit, threw pork loin in the crock pot, and talked to mom. Not quite the normal Sunday, that's for sure.

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

Bled the brakes on the truck and changed out the brake fluid.

Took my grand-daughters to the park to play.

Helped my oldest daughter move.

Watched movies with my daughters and my wife.

Cruised Kiwi Farms.

Found $10 under the seat of my truck! Used it to buy a kite.

 

[Chicken Picnic]

Today, I have to consume the preparation for a colonoscopy tomorrow.

I am very scared to leave the bathroom.

 

[Mr. Poker in the Front Liquor in the Rear]

Today, I bought two pints of vodka and plan on drinking both of the bottles. I don't give a fuck if it's only 10:30 in the morning either. I worked my ass off this past week.

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

Today I...

Started teaching the grand-daughter the alphabet, color, number, and other songs. (Head and shoulders... knees and toes...)

Did tons of other stuff that would bore the shit out of everyone here.

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

Won $280 on a Big Lebowski themed slot machine.

 

[TheRedRanger]

Went through some more steps in preparing for a six month language course in Japan. (Which totally isn't an excuse for an extended weeb-out.)
I just need to wait for the money to come through, then I'm all set.

 

[Figuratively Stalin]

Ate pizza, watched the World Cup, shitposted on the internet and stayed all day in bed because I'm sick. I hate winter so god damn much.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

Went for a beach run and saw a bunch of jellyfish washed up on the beach. Some of them were the size of trashcan lids, it was pretty crazy.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Locked my keys in the car, had to call AAA to get it unlocked, left a Pepsi can in my car in 100+ heat and returned to find I had discovered Pepsi Grenades. Coming soon to a brushfire war near you!

 

[neverendingmidi]

Today I had abdominal surgery for an issue. Doc thought it could be done woth little incisions (laparoscopy), but nope! They had to open me up and scoop stuff out.

So I'm stuck in the hospital for a few days.

 

[Lurkette]

Witnessed two little kids play "Fortnite IRL" in the basment of a theatre

"Look I found a shotgun, I'm going back to my motorcycle"
Then the other kid piped up "oh look I found a motorcycle"

This was all imaginary btw

 

[Trilby]

Witnessed two little kids play "Fortnite IRL" in the basment of a theatre

"Look I found a shotgun, I'm going back to my motorcycle"
Then the other kid piped up "oh look I found a motorcycle"

This was all imaginary btw

I'm glad they're using their imaginations.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Witnessed two little kids play "Fortnite IRL" in the basment of a theatre

"Look I found a shotgun, I'm going back to my motorcycle"
Then the other kid piped up "oh look I found a motorcycle"

This was all imaginary btw

That sounds cute actually.

EDIT: I learned I have bronchitis. Yay for summer ailments.

 

[Hummingbird]

Today I had a nice Italian soda at the new cafe in town and met an "amusing" person. You see, I said hello to a man that I was walking past and he asked me what I was drinking. Almost immedately after I explained it to him, he asked if I was single and wanted to go out with me (because I seemed nice). Alarm bells went off in my head and after I told him that I wasn't looking at the moment, he listed his credentals, pointed to where he lived and asked if I wanted to come in. Just so I could see that he was a harmless guy and make some BBQ. Thankfully, I didn't give him my name and told him I had other things to do and left.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Today I had a nice Italian soda at the new cafe in town and met an "amusing" person. You see, I said hello to a man that I was walking past and he asked me what I was drinking. Almost immedately after I explained it to him, he asked if I was single and wanted to go out with me (because I seemed nice). Alarm bells went off in my head and after I told him that I wasn't looking at the moment, he listed his credentals, pointed to where he lived and asked if I wanted to come in. Just so I could see that he was a harmless guy and make some BBQ. Thankfully, I didn't give him my name and told him I had other things to do and left.

You know where he lives? Someone go check his backyard for holes and bottles of lotion.