Today I have... Thread.

Today I heard a Troon (mtf) IRL discuss loudly with xir mom and sperg like the spergiest of spergs about a female superhero with one of the superpowers being an edible body that can change flavors at will. I'm not sure if said troon invented that concept themselves, or got it from somewhere else, but had a little notebook with notes about it that ze was reading off of. In any case that's the craziest way I ever found out someone was into vore. And the ONLY time I ever found out someone IRL was into vore. The mom didn't seem to catch on.

Said autistic troon ( :tugboat: confirmed ) appeared to be in their 20s but had a backpack like a preteen girl would use with pink and rainbows and sparkly shit on it. And the backpack looked old, dirty, and over 10 years old.

*facepalm because every hyooman has a technically edible body anyway, but I guess they mean edible in terms of like maybe they can turn parts of their body into like candy or some shit like that but srsly people that's some fucked up shit for a superhero superpower AND HOW WOULD IT EVEN BE USEFUL (unless you're ......................................... wait for it ................................... into VORE.)*

:stress:
 
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Today I have traveled to my least favorite state to make shekels off of old junk. I have a love/hate relationship with this event every year. On one hand, cool junk, money, crazy people everywhere. On the other hand, more junk, never making as much as you spend, and crazy people everywhere.

In addition to the standard cast of militant Christians, preppers, overweight women in camo stretch pants with children on leashes, actual autists/train/radio spergs, very loud and proud racists, "If Jesus Then Aliens" nuts, storm chasers, strange smelling elderly men and their old wives hawking jewelry made from electrical components, conspiracy theorists, and old engineers with hoarding problems...

An absolute raving lunatic did a series of poorly acted voices from Veggie Tales, Charlie Brown, Rugrats, and the Muppets at me. I complimented her glasses; she started impersonating Sarah Palin and talking about how cancer changed her life by teaching her that making kids smile through theater was her calling. Apparently before the cancer she looked just like Anna from Frozen and enjoyed frightening people at conventions by doing Moaning Myrtle impressions in bathrooms.

It could have been almost endearing if it were just her in a YouTube video with some sentimental music playing but fuck no this bitch was in a convention hall surrounded by old computer and amateur radio junk, rocking the crazy eyes and screeching Miss Piggy and Larry the Cucumber impressions like some unholy avatar of childhood trauma.

In all her lisping, wildly inappropriate glory she managed to actually repel the very particular type of crazy that actually shops at these events before announcing that she was going to go learn to solder and presumably scar any children that crossed her path.

I could not make this shit up if I tried. But hey, at least some computer parts and PLCs got sold and I bought a cool wooden ammo crate. And some wireless headphones for exactly $14.88 because it was too fucking funny.

I hope she comes back next year.
 
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Today, I have learned our work furnace's woes were due to the circuit board being damaged by the recent bout of overheating. Apparently, this is a known issue with this particular model of furnace. The bad circuit board has been replaced and the new one has a bracket that puts a gap between the board and furnace wall so that excess heat shouldn't damage the circuit board like it does without the bracket.

Today, I also learned that a what I thought would be a simple proofreading project for my mom will be anything but. It will take a lot of my free time this week to slog through the file page by page.
 
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Today I had my CS:GO account permanently banned for greafing. Also today I shidded + farded + camed
 
Today I saved a woman’s life. So no shit there I was, enjoying a high dollar business dinner on a supplier’s dime, when I noticed a man trying to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on a choking woman. It didn’t seem to be working and I watched her go completely limp.


No one else in the restaurant was doing anything besides doing their best to pretend that a woman wasn’t dying right in front of them. I made a few uncertain starts and stops before I realized no one was coming to help. I have the most basic of CPR and first aid training and besides dislodging a bead from my infant daughter’s throat, I’ve never used it before.

I jumped up and told the man I was first aid/CPR certified and asked if I could help. He just looked at me with horror and fear in his eyes and mutely nodded while he held his dying wife in his arms. I asked him to lay her flat on the ground then very rudely shoved/asked a man sitting at the table directly next to them to move out of the way. Management said EMS was on the way.

I got her on her back, tipped back her head, and tried to establish an open airway. No dice. Her face was grey, her lips were blue, and she wasn't there. I swept her mouth, probably one of the vilest things I’ve done in my entire life, and pulled out small chunks and shreds of meat. She instantly started making a gurgling sound so I quickly rolled her onto her side in case she vomited and she started coughing and taking little gurgling breaths.

I asked for a napkin, it was instantly thrust in my hand, and I started clearing her face and her mouth, getting the rest of the meat off and out of her. I started talking to her, telling her she was ok, I was here to help, and she was going to be fine. She started croaking out some words...I smoothed her hair back and gently rubbed back, she spoke more clearly...she was so embarrassed.

I almost started crying right then and there. She was breathing, she was back, and she was self aware enough to realize what was happening! I got my coat handed over to me and made her a pillow to keep her comfortable while we waited for EMS to arrive. I chatted with her, introduced myself, and just kept her breathing and talking and distracted.

EMS arrived and I backed away. Once they had her up on the gurney I went over and told her I was so thankful she was going to be ok. I gave the EMS staff a full report of the situation and then excused myself from the dinner to wash my hands and step outside to call my husband and get some nicotine.

I’m still high as a kite right now. I’m shaking, I can’t sleep, and I’m just so damn thankful I stepped out of my timid comfort zone and took the steps necessary to save her life. No one else was doing anything, they were all just sitting there ignoring that woman dying as they ate, drank, and laughed.

So today I saved a life. I hope I never have to do it again.
 
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snuffleupagus said:
Today I saved a woman’s life. So no shit there I was, enjoying a high dollar business dinner on a supplier’s dime, when I noticed a man trying to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on a choking woman. It didn’t seem to be working and I watched her go completely limp.


No one else in the restaurant was doing anything besides doing their best to pretend that a woman wasn’t dying right in front of them. I made a few uncertain starts and stops before I realized no one was coming to help. I have the most basic of CPR and first aid training and besides dislodging a bead from my infant daughter’s throat, I’ve never used it before.

I jumped up and told the man I was first aid/CPR certified and asked if I could help. He just looked at me with horror and fear in his eyes and mutely nodded while he held his dying wife in his arms. I asked him to lay her flat on the ground then very rudely shoved/asked a man sitting at the table directly next to them to move out of the way. Management said EMS was on the way.

I got her on her back, tipped back her head, and tried to establish an open airway. No dice. Her face was grey, her lips were blue, and she wasn't there. I swept her mouth, probably one of the vilest things I’ve done in my entire life, and pulled out small chunks and shreds of meat. She instantly started making a gurgling sound so I quickly rolled her onto her side in case she vomited and she started coughing and taking little gurgling breaths.

I asked for a napkin, it was instantly thrust in my hand, and I started clearing her face and her mouth, getting the rest of the meat off and out of her. I started talking to her, telling her she was ok, I was here to help, and she was going to be fine. She started croaking out some words...I smoothed her hair back and gently rubbed back, she spoke more clearly...she was so embarrassed.

I almost started crying right then and there. She was breathing, she was back, and she was self aware enough to realize what was happening! I got my coat handed over to me and made her a pillow to keep her comfortable while we waited for EMS to arrive. I chatted with her, introduced myself, and just kept her breathing and talking and distracted.

EMS arrived and I backed away. Once they had her up on the gurney I went over and told her I was so thankful she was going to be ok. I gave the EMS staff a full report of the situation and then excused myself from the dinner to wash my hands and step outside to call my husband and get some nicotine.

I’m still high as a kite right now. I’m shaking, I can’t sleep, and I’m just so damn thankful I stepped out of my timid comfort zone and took the steps necessary to save her life. No one else was doing anything, they were all just sitting there ignoring that woman dying as they ate, drank, and laughed.

So today I saved a life. I hope I never have to do it again.
Click to expand...
I'm proud that you didn't let the bystandard effect cop you out of doing it. All I have today is a rock.
 
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Today, I gave in and bought Ghost Recon: Breakpoint on sale. I just got paid, so I was feeling a bit flush.
I enjoyed Wildlands quite a bit, and I live in the vain hope that Ubisoft will still fix this game.
 
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Today I found and sold a $1000 sewing machine while cleaning, and then another cache of shitty $100 yard sale guns, which I will have to sell tomorrow.

I gotta stop staching guns everywhere in fits of orderly rage, finding them again, forgetting to sell them, and then staching them again. This is at least the third time I've told myself I'd sell this gutted Enfield, why is it still here.
 
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Today at the clinic I got to weigh a hefty opossum boi who was putting up a very good fight when I tried to pull him out of his enclosure. Usually the opossums are asleep in their crates (we use pet carriers) during the day and we can just close the carrier door and bring it inside, and then pull them out for weighing. This guy was out and about his pen and determined to latch on to every available surface while I struggled to grab him. His back foot scratched my arms up pretty good in the process but at some point he resorted to his Ultimate Move which was to poop on my shoes. Good news is he's healthy and ready to be released.
 
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