Top 50 Longest OPs - Top 50 OPs on Kiwi Farms ranked by how long they are

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Relinquish

Relinquish

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Oct 17, 2021
Thread OPs these days are getting longer and longer, so it's finally time to see which thread has the longest and most comprehensive OP of them all. In this list, the OPs are going to be measured by the number of characters that the OP has in total
How did you count the number of characters?
The method used to count them is by copying and pasting the entirety of the OP into a text and checking the number of characters it has (Spoilers included). If the OP is multiple posts long, then we process it separately and combine the character counts for the final result. This method is not perfect as it neglects the BB code used for formatting (which Xenforo counts as a character when checking if the post exceeds the 64K character limit). The only way we can perfectly find the exact amount of characters is if the OP themselves checks the BB code of their OPs, which is really impractical since some thread creators either left or were banned from the forum

Does the list include OPs from Prospering Grounds / PG?
No. Unless they are OP Rewrites that have yet to be inserted, in this case, they are gonna be marked as [OP REWRITE] for clarity's sake. When they're gonna be inserted, the mark is gonna be removed

Is the list fully accurate?
Maybe, maybe not. I've not gone through every single thread OP on the site, but I've gone through the ones I remember in my memory that were the longest and most comprehensive. If I left something out, feel free to let me know in this thread
  1. 🥇The GMOD/SFM Splatoon / “SplatSource” Community by @Tread Miller - 326,168 (Apr 6, 2025) | Community Watch
  2. 🥈Kayla Christine Rekieta / "Lady Rackets" by @Not Who You Think - 235,312 (Nov 11, 2024) | Grift Wars
  3. 🥉 Torswats / Alan Winston Filion by @Sprate Header - 107,212 (Jun 25, 2023) | Ethan Ralph / Da Sektur
  4. Daniel Micay / strcat by @Markass the Worst - 101,948 (Jun 1, 2023) | Internet Tough Guys
  5. Elaine April Gertler-Miller / Elaine Miller / Trollcow by @Axiom. - 97,778 (Apr 1, 2024) | Internet Tough Guys
  6. Nikolas Marshall Talbott / Itsnatsutalbott by @Admiral Throbnelius - 89,003 (May 26, 2025) | Internet Tough Guys
  7. Robert Lewis Chipman / MovieBob by @Positron - 79,438 (Oct 10, 2022) | Internet Tough Guys
  8. Caden Wayne Scholeck / BlueFolf by @Ise - 78,674 (Oct 17, 2022) | Animal Control
  9. Brian Dennis Martin / FuturisticHub [OP REWRITE] by @Relinquish - 72,241 (Jun 25, 2025) | Internet Tough Guys
  10. Anisa Riyadh Jumma & Ian Kane Jomha [OP REWRITE] by @Osama Bin Laden - 71,633 (Aug 23, 2024) | Beauty Parlour
  11. Ava Chris Tyson / Christopher Stephen Tyson by @TheThreadIsDead578 - 71,368 (Aug 3, 2024) | Stinkditch
  12. Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka by @Spunt - 71,115 (Oct 10, 2023) | Lolcows of History
  13. Herbert Kenneth Huachaca / Dansburst Studios by @Admiral Throbnelius - 67,358 (May 4, 2023) | Lolcows of History
  14. Jessica Anne Boyle / NakedAndLaughing / NAL by @Crab Latte - 67,038 (Jun 2, 2024) | Deathfats
  15. Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" by @Himedall All-seeing Waifu - 63,635 (Feb 25, 2024) | Grift Wars
  16. Gabriel Sickel / ThisIsGabe / KhordKitty by @Wheezy Asthmatic - 63,518 (Mar 8, 2019) | Animal Control
  17. Navy SEALs, Delta Force, and SOCOM general by @Justtocheck - 62,788 (Nov 20, 2023) | Community Watch
  18. Hacker/Cybercrime Community / Script Kiddies by @Relinquish - 61,422 (Nov 9, 2024) | Community Watch
  19. Blair Victoria Kristy / iilluminaughtii by @GenociderSyo - 61,273 (May 4, 2023) | Beauty Parlour
  20. Prostasia Foundation by @easy - 60,590 (Mar 30, 2023) | Community Watch
  21. Lewis Jeffrey Lovhaug / Linkara [OP REWRITE] by @Admiral Throbnelius - 57,981 (Aug 5, 2024) | Lolcows
  22. Frank Breaker / Monostar Leatherknuckles by @Admiral Throbnelius - 51,464 (Apr 2, 2023) | Lolcows
  23. Skibidi Farms / NoLimitsPedia by @Sprate Header - 50,386 (Nov 2, 2024) | Community Watch
  24. Louis "Lou" Gagliardi / Ash Franzetti by @0 0 - 50,179 (Feb 18, 2020) | Animal Control
  25. Michael Robert Thurlow / Angry Canadian by @HiramTheGrift - 49,306 (Apr 4, 2022) | Lolcows
  26. 764 & Its Offshoots / "com" by @Relinquish - 49,269 (Sep 16, 2024) | Community Watch
  27. Poppy Diabolique / Jessica Routhier by @Karellen - 46,762 (Mar 4, 2024) | Stinkditch
  28. Video Game Archival Autism / TCRF by @NoonmanR - 45,215 (Jul 15, 2022) | Community Watch
  29. Geometry Dash Community / Gdtwt by @Relinquish - 44,391 (Jul 18, 2023) | Community Watch
  30. Eric Anthony Davis / noodlez by @Markass the Worst - 44,372 (Dec 24, 2023) | Lolcows
  31. Dax Herrera / Dick Masterson by @AltisticRight - 42,961 (Nov 12, 2023) | Grift Wars
  32. Lolicon/Shotacon Defense Force by @LavenderMenace - 42,232 (Aug 30, 2024) | Community Watch
  33. Amanda Marie Lochmann / Colton Marshall Lochmann by @Admiral Throbnelius - 41,564 (Apr 15, 2024) | Internet Tough Guys
  34. Ziz / Jack Amadeus LaSota by @Coo Coo Bird - 41,103 (Jan 29, 2025) | Stinkditch
  35. Chance J F Wilkins / Cyraxx by @anuscabbage12 - 40,651 (Apr 27, 2021) | Internet Tough Guys
  36. Thomas Larry Hanson / TurkeyTom by @Axiom. - 39,407 (Nov 18, 2024) | Internet Famous
  37. IP2 Community / IP2 by @anuscabbage12 - 38,861 (Dec 2, 2020) | Internet Famous
  38. Alexander Stuart Mahan / EvaXephon / Yanderedev by @Juan But Not Forgotten - 37,696 (Apr 10, 2016) | Lolcows
  39. Evie Noor / FindingEvie / Esther Noor by @GenociderSyo - 37,451 (Sep 9, 2024) | Deathfats
  40. Bronze Age Pervert (BAP) / Costin Vlad Alamariu & Associates by @Rache Bartmoss - 37,140 (Apr 26, 2024) | Grift Wars
  41. Big Lenny / Leonard W Persin by @anuscabbage12 - 36,518 (May 19, 2021) | Lolcows of History
  42. David W. Stansfield / smartschoolboy9 by @WhatZitTooya - 35,751 (Sep 30, 2024) | Lolcows
  43. The Synthverse / Synthetic Man Fans / Synthcels by @Relinquish - 35,735 (May 22, 2025) | Grift Wars
  44. Summer Nicole Pelkey / Summer Rain by @Rache Bartmoss - 35,715 (Jan 23, 2024) | Internet Famous
  45. Luni / Lucas Darend Lee / LucasXyo by @NaggotFigger - 35,653 (Jul 26, 2024) | Lolcows
  46. Sanctioned Suicide by @Markass the Worst - 35,330 (Jan 23, 2023) | Community Watch
  47. Annacondasin / Anna Jane Clossin by @Osama Bin Laden - 35,236 (May 25, 2024) | Lolcows
  48. Matthew Craig Judge / DarkViperAU by @Musashi's Son - 34,187 (Mar 24, 2024) | Internet Famous
  49. Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack by @Gentlebastard - 33,980 (Apr 8, 2023) | Lolcows
  50. Kyle Elias Perez / Foreskin Police by @easy - 33,361 (Dec 13, 2023) | Lolcows
  51. Elon Reeve Musk by @Polentic - 31,822 (Nov 19, 2022) | Lolcows
Fun Facts:
  • @Tread Miller's "SplatSource" Community thread OP is actually the first OP he's ever made on Kiwi Farms. It is also the only thread he made, yet
  • @Sprate Header's SkibidiFarms OP is in the list mostly because it gets consistent updates on the current state of affairs, while most OPs are left stagnant
  • Daniel Micay, Torswats, and SplatSource Community OPs are the only OPs on Kiwi Farms that have broken the 100K character barrier
  • @Admiral Throbnelius is the most commonly seen face on the list
 
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@Admiral Throbnelius showing off his 'OPs that made out of PG' 'High Quality OP' and 'Internet Drama Expert' medals zhukov.gif
 
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You can make OPs longer than anything you've seen in this forum in a semi-contrived way, by not omitting anything trivial and instead of linking, posting.

If we do that, the DSP thread would trump all examples here, but a lot is subdivided in other threads for practical purposes.

* An extremely brief summary of his Champions addiction in regards to evidence had to be shortened due to easily hitting the 64000 character limit, now imagine if it wasn't shortened, everything else in regards to Champions was added, and also everything else from DSP lore up to this point. That is worth dozens of Moby Dick novels in terms of length.
 
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One of the reasons OPs are so comprehensive and exhaustive is because many posters believe that makes up for a lack of funny content.

And so padding the word count gives it some kind of legitimacy when, let’s be real, most threads are not read when you see the same messages repeated over and over with swapped out words like mad libs.

You can look through proving grounds and see a ton of OPs that were rejected for simply being too long.

People are too harsh on some OPs and have to realize that lolcows are chosen by history, rather than selected by someone’s attempt to document them. But if there is potential? Someone else will run with it. And that should be kindled and nurtured more, IMO. These kind of potential thread are “Proto-cows” to use a crass term. However, people are scared of DFE from the cow and it giving the slip so they keep it all secret.

Making the perfect OP is like darts meets archery meets the lottery sometimes. You can have the winning lottery numbers but still lose, sometimes. Don’t take it personally.
 
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Rache Bartmoss said:
Kayla Rekieta thread by @Not Who You Think has been made public and it should already overtaken the Splatoon Community thread OP as the longest and most comprehensive OP on Kiwi Farms.
Click to expand...

It's public? I will have to add more updated material over the next while then for the sake of completeness. Will also make minor fixes (videos with center-alignment can cause issues for phone users).

It should be that much more content though, so I hopefully won't be taking gold. I will make an official post in Community Features when it's finally done.

Relinquish said:
Kayla Rekieta's OP by @Not Who You Think is 235,312 Characters long
Click to expand...

Honestly feeling a mixture of appreciation and embarrassment about this. In any case, much thanks for the silver medal!
 
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