My wife and I have a child who just entered high school.
It’s one of those types where uniforms are worn, but it’s not religious or anything. Quite the opposite, in fact. Located in the downtown of our city. (Think any liberal urban area in the US (artisan coffee bars, cultural trails, and redone $40k homes now valued at $750k with "Hate Has No Home Here," "Free Palestine," and "No ICE" signs on their lawn).)
Parent/teacher night was not too long ago. She and I go, and among the kiddos that also come with their parents, I see those who are "expressing themselves" through hair and fashion. Expected, whatever. However, my eyes are immediately set on this blue hair kid with their parents in tow as we all file into the first class.
Mother--probably a sweet woman but also falls into the AWFUL phenotype--sits with the kid, front row; just across from my wife and me. The other "woman" who was suspiciously hovering around them takes a seat in the far back desk. So far and away from everyone that it had an opposite effect of inconspiciousness; at least for me.
As I sit there with my wife, half listening to the teacher give their presentation, I'm putting two and two together. This had to be the father of the kid, here to support but also not draw too much attention to themselves. Probably walking a fine line established between him and the mother well before this day. And, by all rights, he was making an adequate attempt. He was dressed in regular, I suppose you can characterize as unisex clothing (think a tee with some generic, silk-screened logo and jeans). But, he also had the signature long, wispy hair; makeup (I think just lipstick), and the bolt-ons. God the bolt-ons. Among everything, that was the most disquieting, because before I assumed this was some middle-aged lady who let herself go, but my spidey sense wouldn't let me rest until I realized I clocked him.
That's when I remember noticing how they were very quiet. I mean, no banter amongst the other parents, no random question to the teacher. As best as he could, he tried to remain unassuming; and the space he was giving to the mother and child was supposed to add to that.
I saw the three of them on occasion throughout the rest of the evening. The mother and child were essentially locked arm in arm, and the father would keep a distance (further confirming they'd come together and this wasn't coincidental). We probably had one more class we were all together in, but the rest of the time was observations in passing. I remember he never spoke because I was waiting to hear the voice.
Anyway, when my wife and I finally left and were approaching our car, we saw him one more time standing (by himself) in the parking lot. That's when I told my wife, "You know that's a man, right?" God bless her, she was oblivious.
It was all hilarious because, again, the area we're in has the highest concentration of rainbow flags on houses. Even saw a few in the classrooms. I remember distinctly a "Trans Rights Are Human Rights" sticker on one of the teacher's laptops, in fact. Despite all of that, there still seemed to be some type of understanding with that family that "dad" was going to tone it down for tonight. There may be some kind of normalcy and understanding currently, but I can only imagine what it was like when he first made the decision to transition.
