Ubisoft Sellout - Bankruptcy Speedrun Any% Thread

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Same thing happened with Far Cry and it fucking boggles my mind.
The RPG shit Ubisoft has become obsessed with us almost entirely the byproduct of wanting to push microtransactions. They create problems like enemies being health sponges, you dying in two hits to a guy with a 4 above his head instead of a 2, and attach arbitrary stats and abilities to 'gear' so that you can buy all the solutions to these manufactured issues.

Far Cry 6 really pisses me off with this. Half your typical abilities, that you would just unlock in a skill tree in the older games, are now arbitrarily tied to gear pieces that you can only equip one of at a time.
 
Invincible will get his shit beaten again, now on mobile:
Reception.png
 
And I've always wondered, has Jade done anything that's completely memorable outside of her work in AssCreed?
getting drunk at the game awards and not give a shit. which was kinda based and one of the few legit fun moments.
>2015
holy fuck I feel old

as for memorable, all the astroturfing felt more like ubisoft pushing it for PR brownie points and journos being retarded as usual. haven't seen her say anything overly stupid like you see from the usual suspects that are true believers, and can't fault her for taking advantage of it. fwiw she has never shit up a game like a lot of other shitty female "devs" did (otoh she's a producer, which is more about management anyway and way above the usual hack writer/community shill incompetence)

ngl, did't expect to see an actual attractive white woman. guess no ESG money for that one.
 
Last edited:
The RPG shit Ubisoft has become obsessed with us almost entirely the byproduct of wanting to push microtransactions. They create problems like enemies being health sponges, you dying in two hits to a guy with a 4 above his head instead of a 2, and attach arbitrary stats and abilities to 'gear' so that you can buy all the solutions to these manufactured issues.

Far Cry 6 really pisses me off with this. Half your typical abilities, that you would just unlock in a skill tree in the older games, are now arbitrarily tied to gear pieces that you can only equip one of at a time.
You would think someone on PC at least would have hacked the game to make combat more visceral with less bullshit sponge mechanics like this.
 
It's not that I don't think his profession imparted him skills, but I just can't buy it. Edward doesn't fit the world of Assassin's Creed. Then again, what I think is Assassin's Creed hasn't been Assassin's Creed for a decade at this point.
I cannot, for the life of me, recall any entry in the Assassin's Creed franchise to be remotely good after its second game.
Origins, Odyssey, and Valhalla aren't even about the main plot of the damn series. They're just games set at certain time periods with mythological elements instead of the "real history" and alien precursor stuff. The protagonist of Valhalla is some reincarnation of Loki for fuck's sake.
According to Nolan North, who voiced Desmond Miles, the initial roadmap for Assassin’s Creed was supposed to end with Desmond retaining all of the skills of his ancestors and becoming basically a super-assassin. Don’t know how many games were in that plan, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t this many.
 
According to Nolan North, who voiced Desmond Miles, the initial roadmap for Assassin’s Creed was supposed to end with Desmond retaining all of the skills of his ancestors and becoming basically a super-assassin. Don’t know how many games were in that plan, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t this many.
It was obviously planned to be a trilogy. Then someone at Ubisoft realized they struck gold with Ezio and gave him his own. I really liked the modern missions in 3 and probably would've forgiven the weird ass change to combat if they made the entire game centered around the modern plot. Good fucking lord knows why they even bother with it at this point: only the most retarded goyslop CONSOOOOOMers would care about such half-baked trash.
oh wait, i answered my own question
 
TFW Ubisoft makes me glad I haven't bought any of their recent titles.
fwiw at release the only thing mildly "political" in division 2 was an easily missed rainbow flag in some hidden corner of a whole open world city.
EDIT: iirc they later added a vendor to that spot that made it more prominent, but until then there was nothing special about it and everyone just ran past it.

it even got shit for it for not going full trump derangement since OMG WASHINGTON YOU HAVE TO MAKE A POLITICAL STATEMENT!!!1

It was obviously planned to be a trilogy. Then someone at Ubisoft realized they struck gold with Ezio and gave him his own. I really liked the modern missions in 3 and probably would've forgiven the weird ass change to combat if they made the entire game centered around the modern plot. Good fucking lord knows why they even bother with it at this point: only the most retarded goyslop CONSOOOOOMers would care about such half-baked trash.
oh wait, i answered my own question
what's even more baffling is they could've just finished the story in 3, have miles deal with abstergo, save the day, and then basically ignore it or have the tech used by another company. I mean FFS black flag is basically that were you just produce a deep-dive VR videogame (but ofc it needed a twist!).


it will also forever baffling to me that ubisoft is driving the whole IP into the ground twice, but not once did a proper standalone multiplayer of it. still miss wolfpack...
 
Last edited:
@Sparky Lurker Perhaps we should change the thread name to Ubisoft General?
-OPs can't edit thread titles for quite some time.
-Almost every Ubisoft announcement since the decade started made it not being a matter of "how " and rather "when", every time you think the salaud are starting to learn they do something completely baffling. See all these Asscreed, NFT games and shooters with funny names being announced? The merde is starting to pile up and soon they will have to get rid of it.
 
Last edited:
fwiw at release the only thing mildly "political" in division 2 was an easily missed rainbow flag in some hidden corner of a whole open world city.
EDIT: iirc they later added a vendor to that spot that made it more prominent, but until then there was nothing special about it and everyone just ran past it.
Isn't that the place where the game's GPS indicates a path through the wall with the LGBT flag?
 
Isn't that the place where the game's GPS indicates a path through the wall with the LGBT flag?
don't think there was anything like that back then, but might remember it wrong.
it's on the street down to that office-complex with a possible bounty, south of the underground passage thingy you could defend or something. later the secret vendor got added there.
 
It was obviously planned to be a trilogy. Then someone at Ubisoft realized they struck gold with Ezio and gave him his own. I really liked the modern missions in 3 and probably would've forgiven the weird ass change to combat if they made the entire game centered around the modern plot. Good fucking lord knows why they even bother with it at this point: only the most retarded goyslop CONSOOOOOMers would care about such half-baked trash.
oh wait, i answered my own question
I think a part of it was also how many people kept bitching about the ancient aliens tier conspiracy plot in the modern day distracting from the historical shit. So Ubisoft started increasingly cutting that shit out. Hell they even cut out most of the Assassins vs. Templars shit, like 3/4 of Black Flag is Edward telling everyone to get stuffed and then suddenly having a change of heart like 3 chapters before the game ends because reasons.
Edward was Arthur Morgan before he was a thing.
>I may be a greedy, alcoholic, wife-abandoning, thieving, and murdering cunt but at least I'm not a racist.
And he was just good at everything for no reason. He kills a fully trained assassin at the very beginning and ends up hunting megalodons with spears on a shitty raft.

Need to buy on sale sometime. Missed it on GOG recently. Shame.
I don't really mind him being a good enough fighter to kill a fully trained assassin but the fact that he goes on to be a god-tier stealth master and assassin himself without any training to the point of fooling experienced Templars with his use of the hidden blade (that he had for like what, ONE day at the time?) was so much fucking asspull that it completely shattered my sense of disbelief. Edward is a Gary Stu even by Assassin's Creed standards.

Combine that with the kinda dumb, meandering plot of Black Flag and the fact that Ubisoft massively dumbed down the rather interesting naval mechanics of Assassin's Creed 3 and I'd honestly say that Black Flag is massively overrated. It's basically where the AC games turned into massive collectathons.
 
Last edited:
what's even more baffling is they could've just finished the story in 3, have miles deal with abstergo, save the day, and then basically ignore it or have the tech used by another company
I would've been happy with that.
I think a part of it was also how many people kept bitching about the ancient aliens tier conspiracy plot in the modern day distracting from the historical shit. So Ubisoft started increasingly cutting that shit out. Hell they even cut out most of the Assassins vs. Templars shit, like 3/4 of Black Flag is Edward telling everyone to get stuffed and then suddenly having a change of heart like 3 chapters before the game ends because reasons.
The precursors and Subject Sixteen were the most interesting bits of AC lore after 2. Fuck those people.
I would be far more forgiving of Black Flag's story if Edward just embraced being an asshole instead of pretending like he was a good person, like everyone else in that plot did. Mary thought the world of him? Fucking how? He was only ever out for himself. Maybe that was just Anne trying to make him feel better, but it doesn't feel like that at all.
I don't really mind him being a good enough fighter to kill a fully trained assassin but the fact that he goes on to be a god-tier stealth master and assassin himself without any training to the point of fooling experienced Templars with his use of the hidden blade (that he had for like what, ONE day at the time?) was so much fucking asspull that it completely shattered my sense of disbelief. Edward is a Gary Stu even by Assassin's Creed standards.

Combine that with the kinda dumb, meandering plot of Black Flag and the fact that Ubisoft massively dumbed down the rather interesting naval mechanics of Assassin's Creed 3 and I'd honestly say that Black Flag is massively overrated. It's basically where the AC games turned into massive collectathons.
Yeah, that's what really made his ability inexcusable. Not even Ezio knew how to blend in or stealth assassinate in the beginning. I see a lot of praise for Black Flag's story despite the fact it's just Edward doing what everyone tells him. When I saw the table of broken dreams, I almost laughed: you barely fucking knew these people and killed almost half of them. Teach was cool and Stede was nice, but you don't get nearly enough time with them to feel attached.
 
Back
Top Bottom