Ubisoft Sellout - Bankruptcy Speedrun Any% Thread

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ZMOT said:
not really, they have to include the license, and if via textfile whatever isn't enough they can still stuff it into some sub-menu in options like for example sony does it.
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I see, I appreciate you catching my ignorance so someone else doesn't repeat my mistake.
 
GloryToArztotska said:
I see, I appreciate you catching my ignorance so someone else doesn't repeat my mistake.
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all good, you're not wrong they have to include it, but credits aren't necessary (especially in the lazy copy&pasted way they've apparently done it).
it also reminds me that some games do mention it in the credits, but only the name and license type so it's 1-2 lines at best. no need to put in the whole license.
 
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I wish the worst misfortunes upon all involved in the spawning of this abomination of a video game.

Sad it didn't bomb as bad as Concord but all well, will still be entertaining.
 
Fred Herbert said:
I wish the worst misfortunes upon all involved in the spawning of this abomination of a video game.

Sad it didn't bomb as bad as Concord but all well, will still be entertaining.
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Entire game could be an 8 hour long gay sex sequence and it still wouldn't bomb as much as Concord in terms of player count simply because of having AssCreed in the name. If it was an actual standalone title with this level of mishandling at every turn that somehow made it to release, it probably wouldn't crack 50k peak across all platforms.
 
Dead Lion said:
Enzio fucked like half of Italy back in the day so it’s not like romance is something new in the series.
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I always wished for a game in the series would end with the lead going to some random whore and the simulation would immediately terminate as the biological memory reached conclusion. Speaking of which, can you argue women do not pass the biological memory because they don't replenish their eggs?
 
30+GameOvers said:
Why is there even romance in this game at all? What does that have to do with assassins and secret societies and the war and all that other shit this is supposed to be about?
I bet this feels even more forced than the gay romances in KCD2.
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They abandoned the Assassin's vs Knights Templar plot bullshit a LONG TIME ago.


Also, Beyond Good and Evil 2 is vaporware at this point. It is NEVER coming out.
 
Jace on ice said:
I don't think the recent Ass Creed games even have the scenes set in the modern day do they?
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Nope. I think they abandoned that plot line around the time Black Flag came out, and then they pretty much used the setting as a historical sandbox. Honestly, that on its own wouldn't have been much of an issue had they not spent years setting up Abstergo and bullshit plot threads that were never followed through with or explored.
 
Fred Herbert said:
Sad it didn't bomb as bad as Concord but all well, will still be entertaining.
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I think Concord really warped everyone's expectations of what a bomb is supposed to be.

Shadows had a peak of 47,000 - we'll see a boost over the weekend, but chances are increasingly likely that it will have less players than Veilguard even, despite having a far larger budget.

To put things into perspective, Monster Hunter Wilds had a peak concurrent player count of 1,300,000 people.

In the modern gaming space, and especially the AAA bracket, that is what success is supposed to be like, and that's what all these publishers are aiming for, and budgeting their slop accordingly.

50,000 is nothing, 100,000 is nothing, even if the game had hit 300,000 it would have been nothing, because the expectation is a six digit figure, or close enough.

Ubisoft is fucked. I relish the thought of all those disgusting liberal vermin losing their jobs, losing their homes and ending up on the streets. I hope they all suffer.
 
regalterry said:
I think Concord really warped everyone's expectations of what a bomb is supposed to be.

Shadows had a peak of 47,000 - we'll see a boost over the weekend, but chances are increasingly likely that it will have less players than Veilguard even, despite having a far larger budget.

To put things into perspective, Monster Hunter Wilds had a peak concurrent player count of 1,300,000 people.

In the modern gaming space, and especially the AAA bracket, that is what success is supposed to be like, and that's what all these publishers are aiming for, and budgeting their slop accordingly.

50,000 is nothing, 100,000 is nothing, even if the game had hit 300,000 it would have been nothing, because the expectation is a six digit figure, or close enough.

Ubisoft is fucked. I relish the thought of all those disgusting liberal vermin losing their jobs, losing their homes and ending up on the streets. I hope they all suffer.
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another good comparison would be the first tomb raider reboot which squeenix claimed underperforming at 3.4 million - in 2013. iirc they needed to hit 5 to just break even.
a game in 2025 is most likely even more expensive, so the numbers would need to be even higher.
 
regalterry said:
I think Concord really warped everyone's expectations of what a bomb is supposed to be.

Shadows had a peak of 47,000 - we'll see a boost over the weekend, but chances are increasingly likely that it will have less players than Veilguard even, despite having a far larger budget.

To put things into perspective, Monster Hunter Wilds had a peak concurrent player count of 1,300,000 people.

In the modern gaming space, and especially the AAA bracket, that is what success is supposed to be like, and that's what all these publishers are aiming for, and budgeting their slop accordingly.

50,000 is nothing, 100,000 is nothing, even if the game had hit 300,000 it would have been nothing, because the expectation is a six digit figure, or close enough.

Ubisoft is fucked. I relish the thought of all those disgusting liberal vermin losing their jobs, losing their homes and ending up on the streets. I hope they all suffer.
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It would never fail to amuse that a game about animal cruelty bashing monsters (one that has admittedly been casualised and dumbed down from its original autistic roots) has ten-twenty times more players than le AAA assassin game. Even ten years ago that's pretty much unthinkable.
 
regalterry said:
I relish the thought of all those disgusting liberal vermin losing their jobs, losing their homes and ending up on the streets. I hope they all suffer.
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I don't typically like or encourage mocking of people losing their jobs, but for these talentless hacks, I'll make an exception.
 
The credits are perplexing. They seemingly just list every person working in Ubisoft or had tangential involvement in the game. The sheer cost of such a crew is insane and Ubislop assuredly needs the Musk treatment of firing 95% of the workforce to survive.
 
wtfNeedSignUp said:
The credits are perplexing. They seemingly just list every person working in Ubisoft or had tangential involvement in the game. The sheer cost of such a crew is insane and Ubislop assuredly needs the Musk treatment of firing 95% of the workforce to survive.
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The problem is the 5% they don't cut will be incompetent people at the top and their weird queer lackeys because they do not have the competency to realize they're the problem.
The only real solution is death and the chinamen buying up the properties.
E:
I clicked on a random section and saw stuff about speech synthesis systems they were copy pasting.
Did they use AI voices for this?

I'd post a screenshot but its taking forever to load.
 
wtfNeedSignUp said:
can you argue women do not pass the biological memory because they don't replenish their eggs?
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yes, IIRC it was established as a y-chromosome thing, at least at first.
Kane Lives said:
Even ten years ago that's pretty much unthinkable.
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it just goes to show how bad games have gotten that even the niche asian titles have gotten huge, Yakuza wasn't even a well known game series in the west a decade ago, basically only being brought by the weirdest weaboos in the west when 5 came out. we had games like Saint's Row that filled the same niche in the west, but by the ps4 era these games started getting huge because GG meant now those silly games are "offensive" so game studios stopped making them
 
For all console players that still buy and support physical media, what we see here is what most likely to expect from all physical ubisoft console games from now on. An online DRM check is needed if you gonna be able to play the game. As the woke gay shit wasnt enough, ubisoft can go fuck themself!

asscreed1.jpg
asscreed2.jpg
 
TrainWreckWatcher said:
The problem is the 5% they don't cut will be incompetent people at the top and their weird queer lackeys because they do not have the competency to realize they're the problem.
The only real solution is death and the chinamen buying up the properties.
E:
I clicked on a random section and saw stuff about speech synthesis systems they were copy pasting.
Did they use AI voices for this?

I'd post a screenshot but its taking forever to load.
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That's obvious what will happen if you let the current leadership choose. And I wouldn't be surprised if there's literally not a single game developer left in Ubisoft, and they purely work on a skeleton of the engine like Bethesda.
 
regalterry said:
I think Concord really warped everyone's expectations of what a bomb is supposed to be.
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2024 in general really spoiled us. Suicide Squad, Dustborn, Concord, Veilguard, Unknown 9...it was an unprecedented year of DEI failures. Concord will probably never be topped as far as bombs go, but I think in future the goyslop AAA publishers will favor cancelling projects over releasing them to be publicly slaughtered.

Shadows still hasn't broke 50k concurrent according to SteamDB btw. How embarrassing.
 
Jace on ice said:
I don't think the recent Ass Creed games even have the scenes set in the modern day do they?
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From Origins until Valhalla there we were technically following some bitch called Layla Hassan and there were a couple modern day scenes in those games.
 
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