Ubisoft Sellout - Bankruptcy Speedrun Any% Thread

[The Doom Slayer]

Former Ubisoft Osaka employee dismisses claims about shares plummeting “because of DEI”​

"DEI isn't real but actually it is and it's actually a good thing, chud "

 

[Jace on ice]

Former Ubisoft Osaka employee dismisses claims about shares plummeting “because of DEI”​

View attachment 8477088

"DEI isn't real but actually it is and it's actually a good thing, chud "

I mean that actually be somewhat true. Judging from some of these staff pictures like 95% of their devs are Indian now and we all know what jeetery does to a corpo.

 

[Miller]

Their next option is gonna have to be WW2 Assassin's Creed.

Worse, the next one is for the female audience. It's an AssCreed about witches.

Former Ubisoft Osaka employee dismisses claims about shares plummeting “because of DEI”

"DEI isn't real but actually it is and it's actually a good thing, chud "

They better triple down then.

 

[Samuel Fuller]

I had to laugh the other day.

Some retard on GAF bought a bunch of UBI stock "Because all that IP is worth a lot of money!"

I guess he missed the whole thing when the Guillemots transferred ownership of all their valuable IP to a seperate holding company. LMFAO

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

their next option is gonna have to be WW2 Assassin's Creed.

Hitler seeking a piece of Eden would be fitting giving all the occult stuff around him, however I don't think they could really do it because WW2 Germany isn't prime real estate for "An Openy Open world experience!"

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

Grummz, so big grain of salt heree, but I'm inclined to believe it lolView attachment 8476658

Keeps getting funnier.

 

[Miller]

Hitler seeking a piece of Eden would be fitting giving all the occult stuff around him, however I don't think they could really do it because WW2 Germany isn't prime real estate for "An Openy Open world experience!"

It should be Himmler since he was the one who was into the occult stuff.

 

[ZazietheBeast]

Former Ubisoft Osaka employee dismisses claims about shares plummeting “because of DEI”​

View attachment 8477088

"DEI isn't real but actually it is and it's actually a good thing, chud "

DEI is a baffling cult. Despite being idiotic and pathetic, they somehow wind up in positions of power anyway. Then again, its societal rot stemming all the way back since the 60s.

Worse, the next one is for the female audience. It's an AssCreed about witches.

So if Yasuke was the coffin, then this is the funeral. Welp, RIP in piss.

Hitler seeking a piece of Eden would be fitting giving all the occult stuff around him, however I don't think they could really do it because WW2 Germany isn't prime real estate for "An Openy Open world experience!"

Especially with this level of devs. They managed to make the American Revolution work despite imperfections.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Especially with this level of devs. They managed to make the American Revolution work despite imperfections.

Well American Frontier is great open world slop fodder.

"War torn countryside of WW 2" feels less so.

 

[Plumber's Crack]

It's an AssCreed about witches.

Yeah, they're just begging to go bankrupt at this point assuming this isn't a shitpost.

DEI is a baffling cult. Despite being idiotic and pathetic, they somehow wind up in positions of power anyway.

Look man that blackrock money just hits different. Ironically enough all those diversity hires they signed on to save on costs are what will lead to their downfall anyway.

 

[p1138]

Yeah, they're just begging to go bankrupt at this point assuming this isn't a shitpost.

We've known about Asscreed Hexe for years now, the reveal trailer was from 2022

It doesn't take a genius to see that and realize it's some witchcraft bullshit.

https://www.ign.com/articles/future-assassins-creed-games-will-not-all-be-150-hour-rpgs

But it seems as if Mirage is not a one-off. Assassin’s Creed Infinity, an upcoming hub platform for the series, has been designed to support a variety of approaches for Ubisoft to develop around. While the first game on the platform, currently known as Codename Red, will be a large, open-world RPG set in feudal Japan, not all future games will share that formula.

“I think this Infinity approach is allowing us to have different experiences of different sizes as well,” explained Côté. “Not everything has to be a 150 hour RPG, right?”

Côté confirmed that Codename Hexe, the second game for Infinity, will not be an RPG. While he stopped short of saying what genre and what kind of length Hexe will be, it seems as though Ubisoft wants to make a variety of game types within the Assassin’s Creed universe. Côté says this will “bring more diversity to the places we choose to visit and to how we choose to represent those periods.”

So if Yasuke's bullshit was a "normal" asscreed game and was considered an open world RPG, somehow this Hexe shit isn't even supposed to be the same genre unless they've spent the past few years course correcting that decision. That aside, no one has been looking forward to this turd either.

 

[Plumber's Crack]

We've known about Asscreed Hexe for years now, the reveal trailer was from 2022

It doesn't take a genius to see that and realize it's some witchcraft bullshit.

https://www.ign.com/articles/future-assassins-creed-games-will-not-all-be-150-hour-rpgs

So if Yasuke's bullshit was a "normal" asscreed game and was considered an open world RPG, somehow this Hexe shit isn't even supposed to be the same genre unless they've spent the past few years course correcting that decision. That aside, no one has been looking forward to this turd either.

Wow i am behind the times. Granted i don't usually tend to keep up with ubislop products unless it's notable enough to make fun of.

 

[whatever I feel like]

I think people really overblow this aspect of Shadow's failure. It definitely didn't help, but the majority of players who contributed to making Valhalla Ubisoft's most successful game ever didn't know about any of this shit and probably didn't particularly care about Yasuke being one of the playable characters. Today I will remind them that 99% of consumers don't follow video game news, which is why all the websites are dying.

Even if they'd made it 2 Jap protagonists I think the game would still have significantly underperformed because the people who made up most of Valhalla's playerbase weren't longtime fans of the series and weren't interested in starting over from scratch in a new 100+ hour game. If they wanted a good samurai game they'd play Ghost of Tsushima or Nioh instead.

That's pretty much what The Saboteur was, and it seemed to do okay. The obvious choice, in my eyes, would be to finally do the modern day AC game that they continually teased in the original trilogy with Desmond and his Scooby gang, but I don't know what ever became of that dumbass plotline.

I guess modern day AC would just be Watch Dogs, though, and we all know how that ended up.

The Saboteur is one of my favorite games of all time, top ten easily, but the combat is totally different from Assassin's Creed. AC is fundamentally a game about hand to hand combat whereas Saboteur was GTA with stealth.

 

[Snake of Diamond]

Keeps getting funnier.
View attachment 8477189

Yo it's Prince of India

it's so beneficial that the shares are still plummeting

 

[Oliver Onions]

AC is fundamentally a game about hand to hand combat whereas Saboteur was GTA with stealth.

It is now, that's why it's shit, but it was originally supposed to be a stealth game. A return to that would be nice. Certainly better than BIX NOODing through temple walls.

 

[The Last Stand]

Be honest, how much has anybody here contributed to Ubisoft? I'm talking buying their games whether new or online.

 

[p1138]

Be honest, how much has anybody here contributed to Ubisoft? I'm talking buying their games whether new or online.

Why would anyone? The games have been shit for damn near a decade.

 

[Hermiöne Granger]

French Union Claims Ubisoft CEO Has “No Knowledge or Understanding of His Company”

"At this stage, it seems clear to us that Yves Guillemot has no knowledge or understanding of his company or its employees," Marc Rutschlé, Solidaires Informatique union representative at Ubisoft Paris, told GamesIndustry.biz.

 

[East_Clintwood]

Be honest, how much has anybody here contributed to Ubisoft? I'm talking buying their games whether new or online.

This was an interesting question so I decided to go look. I apparently have 16 games in Ubisoft Connect.
11 of them I'm 100% certain are free games I've picked up at some point and another (AC Liberation HD) I'm reasonably certain must have been somehow free because I don't see when or why I would have bought it.

That leaves 4 games I've actually bought:

AC: Black Flag (bought on release in 2013)
AC: Origins (I definitely remember getting this one super cheap so either waiting for a massive sale, or more likely through a key reseller so probably 2018 or 2019)
The Division (bought on release in 2017)
The Division 2 (bought on release in 2019, bought WoNY DLC in 2020 and Brooklyn in 2025)

I also apparently have one Ubi game in Steam, the original AC which it says I played for 11 hours back in 2013, which I 100% do not remember.

 

[The Last Stand]

Why would anyone? The games have been shit for damn near a decade.

Because some of their games were good, maybe even GREAT at a point in time.

11 of them I'm 100% certain are free games I've picked up at some point and another (AC Liberation HD) I'm reasonably certain must have been somehow free because I don't see when or why I would have bought it.

I noticed that a lot of Ubisoft games are regularly discounted or were given out over the years. That's how I even have a collection of Ubisoft games.

That said; I have bought a few Ubisoft games. Watch Dogs 2, then its season pass, Watch Dogs: Legion with its season pass, Rainbow Six Siege Deluxe a couple years ago, and a Monopoly game. I think that was used, so I'm not counting that.