Uncharted live action adaption - Starring Tom Holland and a horribly miscast Mark Wahlberg

[Internet's Boyfriend]

They released another trailer and a poster for this masterpiece:

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Wow so nice of them to release the entire movie out of the blue like this.

This trailer was just so... empty? Like it doesn't excite me but it doesn't fill me with any remotely negative feelings either, I'm just apathetic. A forgettable trailer for what will most certainly be a forgettable movie.

Wouldn't be surprised if they kill Elena like Druckmann wanted

I don't think she's in this, thank god, but if they somehow manage to get a sequel then Elena's not making it to the end.

 

[Sex Cannon Lupa]

I've only played part of the third game and that was more than enough. The gameplay was ripped off from Tomb Raider: Legend, it was filled with cutscenes and SUPER DEEP STORY, and every level consisted of shooting waves of enemies before triggering a quicktime event. It's no Atari Pinball, I'll tell you what.

They released another trailer and a poster for this masterpiece:

View attachment 2824268

Ha ha ha. Battle of the manlets.

Everything looks so fake. You can tell it comes from the same studio that owns Playstation and made the Assassin's Creed movie. Just a shitty generic tie-in to make a few bucks off overseas retards who coom their pants at the sight of Spider-Manlet. I'm surprised Zendaya's not it.

 

[Super Hans]

One of my guilty pleasures is the game series. Uncharted is dumb fun to unwind with, like Michael Bay movies. But who the hell are they trying to market to? Holland and Wahlberg are nothing like Nate and Sully, putting me off pretty hard, and all the setpieces make the movie just look like a mashup of 2, 3, and especially 4, but I already got much better versions of those in the games themselves. Usually movie adaptations of games, comics, or whatever use the characters and general feel of the original as scaffolding to build a new product with, otherwise the fans just rightfully blow it off as a waste of time, and there goes a ton of free marketing that you could have had.

Wow so nice of them to release the entire movie out of the blue like this.

This trailer was just so... empty? Like it doesn't excite me but it doesn't fill me with any remotely negative feelings either, I'm just apathetic. A forgettable trailer for what will most certainly be a forgettable movie.

This fucking movie has been in the oven so long that it can't be anything other than forgettable. It's not rushed, so it has to have at least proper structure to it, but more than long enough to have dozens of producers put their dirty mitts on it and make the movie lose focus and not excel at anything.

 

[Something Awful]

Who the fuck likes Mark Wahlberg? How does he keep getting starring roles in movies?!

 

[The Valeyard]

Who the fuck likes Mark Wahlberg? How does he keep getting starring roles in movies?!

They're trying to appeal to the Chinese market, as the Transformers movies he was in made lots of money there.

 

[winterfag]

They're trying to appeal to the Chinese market, as the Transformers movies he was in made lots of money there.

if only studios realized that people buy tickets to see movies because they have giant robots and super heroes, not because of hollywood actors with the charisma of stiff cardboard

 

[Product Placement]

Ha ha ha. Battle of the manlets.

Everything looks so fake. You can tell it comes from the same studio that owns Playstation and made the Assassin's Creed movie. Just a shitty generic tie-in to make a few bucks off overseas retards who coom their pants at the sight of Spider-Manlet. I'm surprised Zendaya's not it.

Ass Creed was a fox movie, but change that movie to the last two Jumanji movies and your point stands.

I don't expect this movie to be bad just a forgettable cgi mess movie like most Marvel movies and the new Jumanji and Goosebumps movies.

 

[Dom Cruise]

The thing about Uncharted was that the storyline was already that corny tall tale your rock-climbing buddy with middling climbing ability told you that not even the many drinks you downed over the course of the epic telling made believable. Difference is, that at least playing the game on Brutal mode had a fun, exciting challenge to it to offset the suspension of disbelief the story required. A movie of this? With no rooty-tooty-point-and-shooty fun with deranged inbred zombies, DA NAZEES, yugo war criminals, psychadelic femme fatales, and ragequitting to make it fun?

Pass.

The first time I played Uncharted 1 I felt the shift into the semi supernatural ruined the game, I just didn't buy it, it worked a little better in 2 and 3 and a later replay of the original game it worked better for me.

But I don't think the series really should have had that element, it should have just been about treasure hunting, that's why the 4th game is my favorite, it managed to avoid that pitfall while also not being as vague with it's storyline, what is supposed to have happened to the locations you find in 2 and especially 3 are so vague, in 4 not only is it more grounded, but it's also made clear what was supposed to have happened.

In fact there's even an implication that the first 3 games are just that, tall tales that Nate tells his brother Sam, which he comments are "literally unbelievable" rather than the literal version of the events.

Who the fuck likes Mark Wahlberg? How does he keep getting starring roles in movies?!

He's the modern day Stallone, big Hollywood A lister but with enough of a blue collar vibe to have appeal for Joe Sixpack.

 

[The Doom Slayer]

So the director of this thing is now teasing/threatening us with a live action Jak and Daxter movie, with Holland as Jak.

God help us all.

 

[Megaroad 2012]

Tom Holland is too much of a squeeky voiced dork like Michael Cera for me to take seriously in really anything. Not even a fan of the games and I can tell he's not Nathan, just some fuck toy to some Disney executive. You'd think his balls were dropping from some of those shrill vocals he made in that trailer, nevermind his manlet stature.

I have a feeling that the scene of Mark Wahlberg with the moustache is from the end of the film or a post-credits scene.

All these gay ass American movies always need to explain everything. Ghost in the Shell showed how Batou got his eyes (retarded), stupid ass Resident Evil movie went out of its way to show Wesker getting his sunglasses from faux-Ada.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

Nathan Drake is supposed to be a gigachad Indiana Jones expy. The only people who want to see Tom Holland play that role are retarded teenage girls and the type of pedophile faggots that run Hollywood.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Interesting how this was the year where I was going to play the Uncharted video game series for the first time. The fact that they had to copy the theme and plot from Uncharted 4 and turn this into a REAL live action movie just makes me want to post this meme:

So the director of this thing is now teasing/threatening us with a live action Jak and Daxter movie, with Holland as Jak.


God help us all.

Jak and Daxter live action movie will basically just be The Rock and Kevin Hart as the former and latter. Either this Uncharted director is bluffing, or if he’s being serious, then he really is biting more than he can chew.

 

[The Doom Slayer]

Not even critics are pretending this thing is good.

 

[Oats12345]

Who the fuck likes Mark Wahlberg? How does he keep getting starring roles in movies?!

Because he's a cool action star?

 

[Personal Jesus]

I don't think he's that bad either, in fact I think they could have used the de-aging technology on him and made him Nathan Drake, it would have made more sense since he looks more like Nate than Holland, IMO.

 

[Oats12345]

I don't think he's that bad either, in fact I think they could have used the de-aging technology on him and made him Nathan Drake, it would have made more sense since he looks more like Nate than Holland, IMO.

Yeah Holland's a weird choice in my opinion.

 

[Milwaukee Macho Man]

Yeah Holland's a weird choice in my opinion.

I feel like it's a weird vestige of old hollywood where they would try to contract stars and throw them into anything. Sony has Holland from Spider-Man so they threw him into their shitty video game movie it feels like.

 

[Mr. Zed da Robot Poon Fed]

He's the modern day Stallone, big Hollywood A lister but with enough of a blue collar vibe to have appeal for Joe Sixpack.

Kinda sad because he is capable of being more than a one-note actor. Boogie Nights showed as much.

 

[The Valeyard]

Not even critics are pretending this thing is good.

View attachment 2987102

This seems about right, I saw it today and it’s a super generic action-adventure movie and as I predicted Sully doesn’t have the moustache until a post-credits scene that was shown in the trailer.

 

[The Doom Slayer]

Sully doesn’t have the moustache until a post-credits scene that was shown in the trailer.

Doesn't surprise me at all. Hollywood fucking loves doing that kind of shit. "Here's the thing you ACTUALLY wanted at the very end as a cliffhanger, now go see the sequel when it happens you braindead consoomer!"