Update: Chris' Hierarchy of Needs, and WANT MULTIPLES!

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Is Chris going to build a new house to live in out of Legos or something? Is that why he's being a...well, a Chris and begging for all these toys?
 
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Doctor Duke said:
I think you're thinking too small. It's not a home he wants to retreat into, it's CWCVILLE ITSELF.
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I completely agree with you. I'm just going to throw a theory out here, feel free to disagree with me.

CWCville, at the very core of its foundation, was a coping mechanism for Chris. It was his magical little sanctuary that would always shelter him whenever things in his life went wrong. That's why despite all of the drama Chris went through up until 2010, he was able to just bounce back immediately like nothing happened and continue on his merry, self-destructive path.

What changed was that his sanctuary, which had sheltered him against his troubles for so long, was finally breached. What upset him so much and had such a profound effect on him with Asperchu and the demands for Simonla's death was that it was outside interference in a world that had been entirely his own for over a decade. Though some trolls tried to influence CWCville canon, it was never on the scale of Asperchu, nor did it demand the death of one his electric abominations. When Alec took his world and flipped it upside down, it ultimately took away what power Chris had in CWCville. Keeping in mind his delusions about cartoons being real, Alec's interference with his characters and Evan's demand for Simonla to die disturbed him greatly.

CWCville was his last bastion. When it crumbled, so did Chris. It's only now, with lego instead of crudely drawn comic pages, that Chris attempts to reassemble the fortress which had protected him from change and drama in the past. Simonla's resurrection is a step in reclaiming the bastion and undoing the destruction wrought by the Breach on his fantasy world.
 
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libertyoftheaether said:
I completely agree with you. I'm just going to throw a theory out here, feel free to disagree with me.

CWCville, at the very core of its foundation, was a coping mechanism for Chris. It was his magical little sanctuary that would always shelter him whenever things in his life went wrong. That's why despite all of the drama Chris went through up until 2010, he was able to just bounce back immediately like nothing happened and continue on his merry, self-destructive path.

What changed was that his sanctuary, which had sheltered him against his troubles for so long, was finally breached. What upset him so much and had such a profound effect on him with Asperchu and the demands for Simonla's death was that it was outside interference in a world that had been entirely his own for over a decade. Though some trolls tried to influence CWCville canon, it was never on the scale of Asperchu, nor did it demand the death of one his electric abominations. When Alec took his world and flipped it upside down, it ultimately took away what power Chris had in CWCville. Keeping in mind his delusions about cartoons being real, Alec's interference with his characters and Evan's demand for Simonla to die disturbed him greatly.

CWCville was his last bastion. When it crumbled, so did Chris. It's only now, with lego instead of crudely drawn comic pages, that Chris attempts to reassemble the fortress which had protected him from change and drama in the past. Simonla's resurrection is a step in reclaiming the bastion and undoing the destruction wrought by the Breach on his fantasy world.
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Eh... I think you're overestimating the significance of cwcville. Chris didn't hide in cwcville because of bad things in his life, because bad things didn't happen in his life. Even with his enemies, like Mary Lee Walsh and the jerkops and whatnot, they were just more enemies on the stack. He could still go back to 14BC and be safe.

Chris didn't connect Asperchu with cwcville, because they were different comics. The satire was too subtle for Chris, so aside from Alec actually setting Chris on fire, Chris didn't notice much about how Asperchu related to Sonichu.

I think cwcville is more of a minor comfort thing to Chris. Like twiddling his thumbs. He does do it to feel better, but his world wouldn't crumble if you took it away. Heh, nowadays, fatty's got bigger things to worry about.
 
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There's a part during Jackie Emails 24 in which Jackie says she's not getting a cell phone (as Chris has been requesting her to call him) and instead is saving for a pair of chopsticks. I'm pretty sure this was supposed to be Jackie's way of paralleling the fact that Chris' computer was on the fritz and yet he was still spending money on video games, even dropping everything for the new PS3. Chris responds by asking her if her chopsticks are a "want" or a "need", and tries to suggest a phone is more of a "need" and chopsticks are a "want".

I'm just gonna leave that there.
 
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Altissimo said:
There's a part during Jackie Emails 24 in which Jackie says she's not getting a cell phone (as Chris has been requesting her to call him) and instead is saving for a pair of chopsticks. I'm pretty sure this was supposed to be Jackie's way of paralleling the fact that Chris' computer was on the fritz and yet he was still spending money on video games, even dropping everything for the new PS3. Chris responds by asking her if her chopsticks are a "want" or a "need", and tries to suggest a phone is more of a "need" and chopsticks are a "want".

I'm just gonna leave that there.
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Yeah, but Chris doesn't exactly get parallels - he also failed to get how Lars' over-spending on model boats could be compared to his own vidya habits. There was one Mailbag letter which was more direct, i.e. the writer claimed to have spent too much money on games with a small income and was now in massive amounts of debt, but Chris just tard-raged at it. I think in his head he knows that he doesn't need the stupid shit he buys, but the fact that he really really wants it means that it's almost like he needs it.
 
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CalmMyTits said:
Usually when people's houses burn down, they take stock of their life and focus on fulfilling the most important needs - food, clean water, toiletries, basic clothing, a warm place to sleep.

Usually people who survive a house fire will have a new look on life, realize what is really important (a support network, friends, etc) and what one really needs in life to be comfortable, when you are in a situation where such items as a warm place to sleep or clean underwear is not so easily accessible (especially after the fire eats your bed and underwear) it teaches you what you can live with and live without.

It's clear at this point that Chris has learned NOTHING. I shouldn't be surprised, but I am still disgusted.
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http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Mumble_4
Clyde: Chris, when your parents die, what's gonna happen to your house, what's going to happen?
Chris: You're asking me when my parents die, what's going to happen to my house?
Clyde: Yes.
Chris: Well, I assume the house is still gonna be on the land it was built upon.
Clyde: Oh, so it's not yours anymore, interesting. Interesting.
Chris: Well actually they're leaving it to me. So there.
Clyde: So you've got a house, that's decent. Tell me, name five bills associated with, you know, maintaining the house. Can you even name five?
Chris: Five bills associated with maintaining the house. Alright, there's the electricity, the water...abuhbuhbuhbuhbuh [muttering]... food, clothing-
Clyde: Food and clothing are not part of the house. That's part of the, you know, daily life. I'm talking about the actual house.
Chris: [sigh] Okay, there's, uh, hardware like-
Clyde: What hardware? For what?
Chris: Like for roofing. For one thing
Clyde: Do your parents even own the house?
Chris: Yes, they own the house.
Clyde: Do they have a mortgage on it? What, anything?
Chris: They do not have a mortgage on it.
Clyde: Oh, so they own the house. Legally. Interesting. Well, you got one thing going for you, you at least have a house. But I don't know, man if you can actually survive in it.
Chris: Tsk-tsk. You are so quick to under- to undermine a person. And underestimate them.
Clyde: I'm not being quick to undermine a person. I'm thinking of what a family man should do, okay?

It appears that Chris understands how to manage a household now about as much as he did 5 years ago, that is to say, he's still oblivious and incompetent.
There's a certain predictability about Chris, in that he never learns or changes no matter what.
I do take some small comfort in the fact that in some ways, it's easy to know what to expect from him: nothing at all.
If Chris Chan can be said to have even one virtue, it's consistency. His consistency in fucking up.
 
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skyraider91 said:
...
Clyde: Oh, so they own the house. Legally. Interesting. Well, you got one thing going for you, you at least have a house. But I don't know, man if you can actually survive in it.
Chris: Tsk-tsk. You are so quick to under- to undermine a person. And underestimate them.
Clyde: I'm not being quick to undermine a person. I'm thinking of what a family man should do, okay?
...
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Can you imagine how smug his face was when he was saying "Tsk-tsk...."
 
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Holdek said:
Can you imagine how smug his face was when he was saying "Tsk-tsk...."
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CheckYourPriv.jpg
 
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skyraider91 said:
It appears that Chris understands how to manage a household now about as much as he did 5 years ago, that is to say, he's still oblivious and incompetent.
There's a certain predictability about Chris, in that he never learns or changes no matter what.
I do take some small comfort in the fact that in some ways, it's easy to know what to expect from him: nothing at all.
If Our Pet Lolcow can be said to have even one virtue, it's consistency. His consistency in fucking up.
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Chris does learn, sort of, but only when he's directly punished. He'll understand that when he does [X], bad things happen to him, but ultimately it's due to the troll/Greene County/GAMe PLACe/Illuminati conspiracy. When Barb dies, and Chris finds himself unable to pay the bills, his thought process will be "The electricity was cut off, because I didn't pay the bills, because Mom never told me that I had to do that!/Because the gov'ment don't give me enough tugboat to pay the bills and buy essential stress-reducin' things like Legos!"
 
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butt in trouble said:
CheckYourPriv.jpg
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"Hmm, yeh, you know what dis is? Dis is me, playin da world's SMALLEST stradivarius fiddle. For sale now, buy it now! MY MOTHER AND ME REALLY NEED MONEY!!!"

Tragi-Chan said:
Chris does learn, sort of, but only when he's directly punished. He'll understand that when he does [X], bad things happen to him, but ultimately it's due to the troll/Greene County/GAMe PLACe/Illuminati conspiracy. When Barb dies, and Chris finds himself unable to pay the bills, his thought process will be "The electricity was cut off, because I didn't pay the bills, because Mom never told me that I had to do that!/Because the gov'ment don't give me enough tugboat to pay the bills and buy essential stress-reducin' things like Legos!"
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Shit, if Chris started getting tased by the cops for his stupid shit, you can bet your ass he'll stop trying to pull off his stupid shit. He'll bitch, sure, but he'll bitch from afar.
 
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One of the weirder things about his wishlist is that many of the Lego sets come from franchises he hasn't really shown that much of two shits about. Like, Tangled. Or Superman.
 
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Shiny Marshtomp said:
One of the weirder things about his wishlist is that many of the Lego sets come from franchises he hasn't really shown that much of two shits about. Like, Tangled. Or Superman.
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My original theory on this was that it was about getting the parts to recreate CWCville and the monstrosities that inhabit it. But I'm starting to think it's a combination of Barb's hoarding behaviour rubbing off on him and his natural greed. The thought process is "Sometimes people give me stuff for free therefore I will ask people for Lego sets I want and get them for free but if other people are buying them for me, then it doesn't really matter whether I actually want them or not, it'll cost the same so let's just ask for everything."
 
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Tragi-Chan said:
My original theory on this was that it was about getting the parts to recreate CWCville and the monstrosities that inhabit it. But I'm starting to think it's a combination of Barb's hoarding behaviour rubbing off on him and his natural greed. The thought process is "Sometimes people give me stuff for free therefore I will ask people for Lego sets I want and get them for free but if other people are buying them for me, then it doesn't really matter whether I actually want them or not, it'll cost the same so let's just ask for everything."
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He puts the ones he wants/needs first, and if people want to go beyond that, fuck it, just get him whatever else he finds even mildly interesting.
 
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