Lovequest Updated OKC Profile

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I will keep posting these unless the mods tell me to stop.

Brother, you are doing godbearjesus's work

 

[asperhes]

Would you pose nude for a magazine?

Yes If I got paid to do it.
(Well then for fuck's sake, sell your noodz on Ebay)



Do you see a pattern in the type of people you usually end up in relationships with?

Yes.


Would you, or did you, go to your 10-year high school reunion?

Yes It did not happen (F***ing, D***ed Facebook, Ruining Socializing and making Reunions considered outdated and obsolete). ]




Are you better looking than most people?

No


Death is:

We won't know until we die & then still might not.
(But in another answer he says he believes in an afterlife.)



When facing a complicated situation, can you easily put yourself in another person's shoes and consequently see things from his or her point of view?

Sometimes It would take a little while for me, but I do have empathy.



In terms of sex, how experienced would your ideal mate be (with people other than you)?

Slightly Experienced
(He keeps on waffling on this issue. He wants someone to teach him, but he doesn't want to be embarrassed by his own ineptitude.)

 

[BillRiley]

Enter the Gallery Of Hypocrisy.

Which are you better at remembering, names or faces?

Faces.

Do you tend to blow off your responsibilities?

No

Do you freak out when you get a little upset? (i.e scream, yell and cry)

No

Do you enjoy exercise?

Yes

 

[Someone in a Tree]

How much longer do we have to wait before he cracks out ?

 

[Holdek]

I bet he thinks his abs look great in this photo because of the light. Disregarding the fact that he's clearly sporting a gut... and a fucking bra.

Anyone know what build type he put on OKC? I think I remember reading he put down athletic. Please tell me that's changed.

He changed it to "average."

But...

"Diet: Mostly anything."

One of the few honest things on his profile. Cheers!

 

[Tootsie Bear]

 

[OBAMATRON]

I'm working from the back BTW.
You guys are killin' me. This is so much fun.

You witness your next door neighbors discreetly smoking marijuana on their own property. How do you respond?

I don't . I'm as friendly (or not) as always.
I'm not sure.

Does someone who refuses to take care of their body (e.g. diet, cleanliness, etc.) have the right to complain about not getting laid?

No

I find myself in fights with authority figures...

Rarely / never

Do you enjoy giving oral sex?

Love it!

If you borrowed a car with a handicapped plate/tag/sticker, but you were not handicapped, would you take advantage and park in a designated handicapped spot?

No.

Is that true?

End of page 116.

 

[Gothicserpent]

Does someone who refuses to take care of their body (e.g. diet, cleanliness, etc.) have the right to complain about not getting laid?

No

POT. KETTLE. MOTHERFUCKING BLACK.

 

[asperhes]

Overall, do you think that what you do (or plan to do) for a living makes the world a better or worse place?

No impact.



If you were to receive one month's salary as a gift, which of the following would come to mind first?

Pay off debt.
(The other options were spend it or save it.)



How often in conversation are you likely to use an exact quote from a movie, play, or TV show?

Once a day or more. TV! We talk TV! You talk some TV?
(What the fuck?)




Are people who believe in the paranormal (IE: Ghosts, Vampires, Aliens, ESP, etc.) all crazy or suffering from some sort of mental disorder/delusion?

No, I'm a very big believer in the paranormal.



Do you ever feel the need to get really drunk?

Sometimes


How important is money/wealth for you in a match?

Somewhat important I am just getting by.



Do you recycle?

Sometimes
(Too easy)



Have you ever cybered (had cybersex)?

Yes


Would you ever consider a relationship where you would take on an exclusive sexual role as master or slave?

Yes, as the master or the slave.
(There's a real pattern of accommodation in his answers.)


Suppose you're dating someone who seems to have long-term potential. You discover that they want to urinate on you during sex. Would you consider staying with this person?

Yes.
(Yep. Chris will literally let you piss on him if you'll just give him the time of day.)

 

[Artard]

You witness your next door neighbors discreetly smoking marijuana on their own property. How do you respond?

I don't . I'm as friendly (or not) as always.I'm not sure.

He doesn't even have to write the stress in anymore. You can read it there anyway, it's remarkable.

 

[CatParty]

I'm working from the back BTW.
You guys are killin' me. This is so much fun.





Is that true?

End of page 116.

Literally all lies

 

[BillRiley]

Would you pose nude for a magazine?

Yes If I got paid to do it.
(Well then for fuck's sake, sell your noodz on Ebay)

In spite of everything, he still thinks he's Carlos Chantor.

Do you see a pattern in the type of people you usually end up in relationships with?

Yes.

Fatty has had three kinds of relationships - imaginary, cartoon and fictional.

Would you, or did you, go to your 10-year high school reunion?

Yes It did not happen (F***ing, D***ed Facebook, Ruining Socializing and making Reunions considered outdated and obsolete). ]

Now he's blaming Facebook?

Are you better looking than most people?

No

Despite what mommy says?

When facing a complicated situation, can you easily put yourself in another person's shoes and consequently see things from his or her point of view?

Sometimes It would take a little while for me, but I do have empathy.

I think it's more likely that Our Pet ManBaby has learned when to claim to have empathy, rather than actually having it.

 

[Ghost Got Double Dipped]

Now that you mention it. I can imagine Chris learning how to cook form her.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=2RY2rsvWock

I wonder if anybody will make a live reading of these for a youtube video.

 

[tobacky_vapor]

Dear Lord, I haven't seen him leak this much information since his days when he tried to overload Ed with TMI. It's definitely attracting people but not the type he wants

 

[Pikonic]

In my time on the internet, I've come across people who are sexually attracted to balloons, dinosaurs, robots and even planets. Surely Chris must be someone's niche?

Perhaps, but Chris won't find them to be his niche.

 

[CWCTime]

Gotcha, but he needs to realize that wearing the ring on his wedding finger makes it look like he's married and looking for an affair... like he'd become so ugly and repulsive that his wife doesn't want sex with him anymore.

He took the photo in a mirror, so it's on his right hand.

 

[XYZpdq]

How often in conversation are you likely to use an exact quote from a movie, play, or TV show?

Once a day or more. TV! We talk TV! You talk some TV?
(What the fuck?)

It's from the Transformers movie from the 80s. There's a planet of exceptional robots that all quote tv for everything.

 

[OBAMATRON]

When you're not in a serious relationship, what do you prefer?

Dating one person at a time

One troll at a time.

Imagine your first face-to-face meeting with someone you met online has just gone well, but lacked the spark of your prior online contact. Would you want a second meeting?

Yes.
I prefer to meet in person Immedtately or ASAP.

Are you annoyed by people who are super logical?

No
I would get annoyed only if they boast about it a lot.

Are you careful with your money?

Yes

No, you aren't.

Would you date someone who kept a gun in the house?

Yes

Chris confirmed 2nd Amendment supporter.

Right this minute, how clean is your main personal bathroom, (say the one you use every morning when you wake up in your own bed)?

Clean-ish but could use a quick touch-up.

For which emotion is self-restraint the most crucial?

Anger

No means NO!

Always. Period.

 

[Pikonic]

I was going to go with Chumlee from Pawn Stars, but this fits better.

Dude, not cool. Chum lost a ton of weight.

Spoiler: This is what happens when you give a shit

 

[Holdek]

It's who he is. If he hid those things, he might increase his chances that some girl would reply to him, but then they would come out and she would immediately bail. I have always thought hiding a lot for online dating is kind of silly.

Yeah but there's the whole concept of "making a good first impression," "putting your best foot forward," and other folk wisdom that was apparently never passed down to Chris that is pretty key for trying to get a date.

He has a Grand Number of Free Adam and Eve DVDs.
(The fact that his answer is in all caps never fails to make me crack up.)

I'm curious if that's how that answer presents itself if you select it, or if he intentionally used all caps .