Lovequest Updated OKC Profile

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He loathe the jerkops because he thinks he was arrested and detained because they were interrupting his love quest and defending Michael Snyder for Charb throwing a temper tantrum and attempted manslaughter. Also, how old is OPL again? I mean, people on any dating site have to be 18+ and the majority of them do not censor themselves for swearing online.



I honestly do not think OPL understood this question. Also, unless a woman is extremely desperate, or they're aggressive, they will never ask his Tomgirl ass out due to him not bathing, being creepy/stalkerish, immature, and looking like Oscar the grouch who decided the best course of action when told to get in "touch with your feminine side" would be to start dressing and acting like a woman.



If his eBay project ends up making him enough money alongside the tugboat, hopefully he will consider getting a liposuction and/or sex reassignment.



Apparently, OPL does not think bathing daily and using deoterent (not AXE) is part of maintaining his armpits/body.



Wow. I wonder what his potential okcupid sweetheart would say if (s)he saw the JULAY video alongside him stating that he would record and show his first time.



Once again, OPL misunderstands the question, either that or once he saw the end of said question, he though they were speaking of his dreams.



Yeah, this is coming from the 32 year old man who in junior/senior year of high school, and probably into college, believed that Santa Clause would bring a sweetheart to him, alongside a sibling because he was lonely playing his video games.



I don't think OPL understands the concept of online dating. Of course the person who he is in contact with is going to be a "anon hiding behind their monitor", it's for their protection and privacy from people such as himself. Unless the man/woman is as mental or delusional as OPL is, as soon as he asks them to meet or travel to meet him, they'll probably cease all contact.



Such as demanding money/LEGOS and being a complete inconsiderate jerkoff when he receives gifts because he burnt down his house?? Nah, Christian Weston Chandler is a wonderful person and always helps people, homeless or not, he is the model human being everyone should strive to be like.



This is coming from the manbaby who used to have to stare at himself in the mirror in school because he couldn't remember what he looked like.



That's if said person is willing to meet a 32 year old autistic Tomgirl manbaby who doesn't know how to act in public, and doesn't know how to take care of himself.



Seriously? I guess he didn't go back to check his voice in any song he recorded. Boy, will he be surprised once he does. Or maybe he will still think he sounds like Frank Sinatra. See: Holding Out For A Hero or I Need A Cute Girl.



Yes Chris, having a dedicated wiki and forums makes it automatically yours. Remember he is the captain of his websites. Unless he honestly thinks that the CWCKIpedia is still up and not archived.



Once again, I don't think OPL understands the concept of a open relationship because he just basically described what cheating on someone is.



The only reason why he think cops should be censored and that they are corrupted is because of the multiple times he was caught doing something stupid or retarded in public. He has no concept of the word loitering, and will probably never bother to look up the meaning.



Guess Chrissy doesn't remember the time when Clyde Cash sent whores to his house and then when he was pretending to infiltrate Trollin Train, he asked Clyde's brother for their number. He probably doesn't remember hiring one of them to take his hated virginity away either. Maybe he should take his words to heart and feel pity for himself.



He is clearly delusional and very forgetful. Everyone, whether his friend or not, knows that if he started dating someone online, the very first thing OPL would do would be to go on FB and gloat about it, and honestly, for someone whom claims to have a lot of "random access humor", I don't see how rage faces/comics offend him, unless he thinks that every single one is directed towards him....dumbass.

Would you date someone you weren't crazy about if they took you on cool dates?

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Yes But I would be honest of lack of interest, or give a chance for better decision (obese doesn't count ).


One strong impression that I'm getting from his answers is that he would let his partner walk all over him. But I guess that's not surprising.

I get the strong impression that you don't like Chris.
 
Is art important to you?

Yes
What about bad art?
Which type of education would you prefer for your children?

Public.
Mainstream FTW.
When you fall in love with someone, do you go ahead and tell them, or do you wait for them to say they love you first?

I go ahead and tell them.
At least to state that I like her.
Do you think most people tell at least one lie most days?

Yes
What about constantly?
Do you Google someone before a first date?

No. Why spoil the mystery?
Hopefully they do likewise.
Do you typically speak and write in a clear, precise manner?

Yes, almost always.
Except for when I don't.
Do you want your partner to be kinkier than you?

Yes
How often do you wear underwear?

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Always
Panties and Sports Bra; I am a Tomgirl.
Is it easy for you to throw away things that you don't really use anymore?

Yes.
Sometimes difficult sentimentally.
 
Are you accepting of other people?

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I'm selective



Other than as an end to suffering, have you ever truly hoped that another person would die?

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No.
(Fucking liar. This is the most bald-faced lie I've seen him make.)



Would you ever consider having sex in a church?

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Yes.



How often do you use profane language?

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Often Mostly when I am feeling really stressed.




How does your maturity level compare with most people your age?

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I'm average



You've been chatting with someone and are hitting it off. They e-mail you nude pictures of themselves. What's your reaction?

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Sort of positive
(He had the option here to say he'd send nudes back. I guess he's saltier now.)



Do you play any musical instruments?

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Yes




Generally, do you enjoy being drunk?

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Yes



In terms of relationships, which of these is it the most important to find?

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Someone for whom you would do anything. Anything I am able to.
(The last sentence is his. In other words, someone with extremely low expectations.)




How many times do you usually hit the snooze button on your alarm clock?

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One or two times.
(Holy shit he has an alarm clock.)



I prefer to sleep…

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Embracing / cuddling my partner
(Barb, spooning, joke)



Do you think you have what it takes to be a successful actor or actress?

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No.
(That's not what you told Vanessa Hudgens.)



Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?

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Do not perform the surgery. If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).


Page 72, I guess Obamatron is working backwards.
 
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I guess no troll ever thought just to give Chris an endless questionnaire.

Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?

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Do not perform the surgery. If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).

You know what they say, those hermaphrodites get all the pussy.
 
Do you wish things like vampires, fairies, werewolves, ghosts, or something along those lines were real?

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Yes Specifically, my own Sonichu and Rosechu characters and my city of Cwcville.

I'm sure disclosing that you have an imaginary city is either the deal breaker for any potential sweethearts, or the catalyst that prompts any woman to immediately click on the "Message Now" button.
 
My match rating with Chris keeps increasing...:'(:deagleleft:
I guess no troll ever thought just to give Chris an endless questionnaire.



You know what they say, those hermaphrodites get all the pussy.
Almost spit my coffee out.


Do you consider yourself to be good at clear verbal communication?

Yes
Do you pick up after yourself? Be honest.

Yeah, when I have the time.
Should healthcare be funded by the government?

Yes, for everyone.
Do you like the taste of beer?

Yes
With extra sugar.
If someone intentionally damaged your property, would you be more likely to call the police, or to fight them?

Call the police
But hesitant; f***ing hate the Jerkops.
Potential suitor: What the fuck is a jerkop?
How many times would a person have to turn you down before you took the hint?

Just the once.
Tell Me Direct and Loud.
FUCK YOU MR.GRABBY-HANDS
Are you smarter than all your friends?

No
I am not sure, and I do not know Everything.
How many books do you own?

50+
 
There are so many I wish I could screenshot but I can't...
But there is one that says:
Which would you rather lose:
A) The ability to orgasm (or)
B) The ability to reproduce

Chris picked to lose the ability to orgasm.
 
Looking toward the future, which of the following do you see as most important for you in ten years?

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Being in a good relationship.
(Other options were health, wealth, etc.)



Do you have a desire (even if it's secret) to take part in sexual activities involving bondage?

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Yes



How often do you keep your promises?

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Whenever possible



How do you think your sex drive compares to what is typical for other people of your age and gender?

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My sex drive is about average.



Which superpower would you rather have?

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Flight
(The only other choice was invisibility. This American Life did a feature on this issue, BTW.)



Would you ever picket a business that you do not approve of?

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No.




Ideally, what portion of your total hobbies and other recreational activities would you like to share as common with a partner?

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More than one-half.



How would you describe your body?

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Average
(The choices were slender, average, athletic, voluptuous)




Other than when going to bed for the night, how often do you fall asleep while watching TV?

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Never. But I have it tuned to Music Choice Easy Listening.




Regardless of future plans, what's more interesting to you right now?

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Love
(The choices were sex or love.)




Do you think the government has the right to regulate the ownership and use of weapons?

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Yes
(So does he support the 2nd Amendment or not?)



Do you like coffee?

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Yes, but I can do without it.



Other things being equal, would you prefer a job that requires you to be mostly on your feet or mostly sitting down?

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Mostly on my feet.


These are getting repetitive. There's absolutely no reason to answer each and every question. The chicks will have gotten the message by now.




 
Once you're intimate, how often would you and your significant other have sex?

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Once or twice a week





Would you ever record a video of yourself having sex?

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No


Do you own any sexy underwear?

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Yes.


How often do you masturbate?

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A few times a month


Imagine you have a significant other who reveals they have a video of a sexual encounter from a prior relationship and offers to show it to you. Would you want to see it?

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Yes.

omfg...
 
I'm curious as to what the response men that aren't CWC get on a website like this. I always hear horror stories of men getting scammed and women meeting creeps.
I've used Match.com before. I've never thought of myself as super attractive but I did surprisingly well on there. But, after reading some of these posts I think it might be that because I didn't send a dick pic with the second e-mail that I was automatically going to be seen as more of a catch.

To be fair, men are looked down upon for flirting with women in our society. If we do we're seen as perverts and rapists.
:\ That sounds pretty loveshyish dude.
 
Group sex (with 3 or more people):

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It seriously interests me.With me and multiple women; NO OTHER MALES.

"it seriously interests me" is their answer, the rest is all him.
All I can say...ew.
 
Do you know how to swim?

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I am a swimmer
Someone bookmark this for the next time someone starts a thread asking this.

View attachment 3569
Fuck off Chris. Fuck Antonin Scalia. Fuck Clarence Thomas. Fuck Samuel Alito. Fuck John Roberts. Fuck Anthony Kennedy. Fuck the "Christian Scientists". Fuck the New Apostolic Reformation. FUCK ANYONE THAT THINKS THIS IS A GOOD IDEA!

Sorry, this idea is something that I hold a close, personal aversion to.
If it makes you feel better, Chris cancels out your vote! :)
 
And THIS:
Hypothetically, do you think you would be good at being a porn star?

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Yes


Is why I now believe that all of this OKCupid stuff is Chris just answering to try and please people but either not believing it or just fails... he fails so hard.
 
How frequently do you drink alcohol?

Sometimes
Would you do a striptease for your mate?

Yes
So Hot
Do you like watching foreign movies with subtitles?

Yes
Anime doesn't count.
Have you ever had sex with a person within the first hour of meeting them?

No.
While shopping at a superstore (e.g. Wal-Mart, Target, etc.), if you change your mind about buying something you've picked up, do you walk back to where you found it to put it back?

Yes
He just walks out the door.
In your ideal sexual encounter, do you take control, or do they?

I take control
Has anyone ever pressured you to marry them and failed?

No.
No proprosal ever.
Upon leaving a store, you realize you were not charged for an expensive item. Which would you do?

Go back and offer to pay.
BS
Do you usually feel the need to shower or bathe after having sex?

No.
or ever.

Top of 96. Do we have autism for doing this?
 
How Not to Write a Dating Site Profile inadvertently written by Christopher Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler.
 
:\ That sounds pretty loveshyish dude.

In his defense, flirting and making the first move is a total mystery to some people, Chris obviously included. Upon their repeated failure to get anywhere romantically, many such people, rather than keep hacking away at it until something clicks, eventually choose the more self-soothing route of rationalization and blaming others. I don't want to accuse the guy you quoted of being a kindred spirit to Chris, but his sentiments ring familiar for sure.
 
How important are academic achievements to you?

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Somewhat important.



How would you react if your lover called you by the name of their ex?

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I'd talk to him/her about it.



How does the thought of someone masturbating with you in mind make you feel?

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Aroused As long as the other person was female.
(Of course, Chris. Of course.)




How long does it usually take for you to decide whether or not you like a new acquaintance?

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It takes a few minutes of conversation.



What is your opinion concerning strip clubs?

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They can be fun every once and a while.



Have you attended a drag queen/king show?

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No, and I don't plan to.



Could you fall in love with someone you have only talked to online?

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No.
(I guess technically true; he didn't say "I love you" to Bianca or Ivy until he heard their true and honest voice.)



If a trusted partner asked you to submit to them sexually, would you? Assume that this would involve letting them collar you, command you, and have control over you during sex.

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Yes.



Do you prefer hardcore or softcore when it comes to your porn?

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Both!



Are you a collector of things?

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Yes, I have some collections.



Imagine that you have to move somewhere far away. You'll need to pack all of your stuff and take it with you. All your things could fit nicely inside...

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a big moving truck.
(Homelessness is going to hit him hard.)



As long as you both agreed that nobody else would ever see the video, would you let a partner film the two of you having sex?

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Yes.



Do animals have "souls" like humans do?

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Yes



How important is it to you that a potential partner continues to educate himself/herself as an adult?

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Very important. It is one's choice to further educate.




How do you describe yourself politically?

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As a an Independent/Something Else Moderate




What haircolor, or shade, do you prefer?

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I have no preference




Do you ever rehearse or plan conversations before actually having them?

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Yes.




Imagine you've been dating someone. After a year, they explain to you for the first time that they can see ghosts/spirits. How would you react?

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I'd be excited about the possibilities.



How do you usually feel toward authority figures (teachers/instructors, police officers, etc.)?

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Indifferent But SERIOUSLY Upset at the corrupted Jerkops.




Imagine you have a partner who is able to provide financially for you and any children. Would you consider taking a stay-at-home role?

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Yes.

Page 83.
 
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