Lovequest Updated OKC Profile

[Good Soothing Coffee]

JIOgidjiogiggfggsdkghh!!! Why the fuck is he sharing this with his potential sweetbolts? He really is the biggest troll in his life.

You know, I guess to his credit, he's putting it all out there. Most people wait until a relationship progresses to start sharing even some of the smaller skeletons in their closets, but there will be no surprises for the theoretical woman who picks up OPL on OKC. It narrows the dating pool severely for him but in theory it makes for the best potential sweetheart compatibility. She who chooses Chris will be totally fine with her homophobic, unemployed, panty-clad tomgirl manchild who seeks to be pissed on but not slapped.

This woman also doesn't exist.

 

[cheersensei]

The more I think about it, Chris with a ponytail looks like your common garden variety geek you could find playing Magic the Gathering or some other assorted RPG at your local comic shop or convention.

Until you pan down and realize he's wearing a woman's shirt and hiding God only knows beneath those clothes. He's got the non or occasional bathing part down to a science though.

Makes me grateful RadCon states on their badges the 3-2-1 rule: 3 full hours of sleep, 2 solid meals, and at least 1 shower.

 

[bradsternum]

It's like the deal with his past sweethearts. Sometimes they are real, sometimes they are trolls.

So 1/3 of the time Chris answered truthfully, 1/3 of the time he lied, and 1/3 of the time he didn't understand the question. I still hope *somebody* goes out with him, if only to score a free meal, because he needs the experience and honest input.

IRL example of Doublethink.

 

[Marvin]

You must be about 100x better at wget/curl/python/whatever you used than me. I took a look at it this morning, saw that it would require a bunch of work/research (I couldn't even figure out how to make OKC accept my cookies), and made a cup of tea instead.

Do you think you could scrape the category and possible answers for each question as well? The categories could be helpful in breaking them into groups when they go onto the CWCki, and sometimes the possible answers provide context (for example):

Oh, yeah, nah, fucking around with the cookies and headers and all that bullshit wouldn't be worth it for this. I mean, you could do that, but it'd be way too much work for a big site like okcupid. Unless they have an API (which they might, I didn't even check), I'm just using jquery and sending what I get once in awhile to a cgi script on my desktop.

I'll look into categories.

As far as scraping goes: http://pastebin.com/CiEk9uwk here's 1310 Q&A's. I've got more data too, if someone wants it. Like the range of possible answers and which pages the questions were found on. I've answered 1330 of his questions, so I'm trying to track down which ones I missed.

Edit: Ok, here's 1333 Q&A's, now I'm looking into categories: http://pastebin.com/Q94Wfv8W

Double edit: Here's all the questions, plus all the possible answers. I did write code to get the categories, but right as I go to test it out, chrome or something started getting fucky and it wouldn't work. But otherwise, here you go: http://pastebin.com/TZrs8vX7

 

[4Macie]

Has anyone else noticed all the contradicting he does with these answers? There's one that asks "Do you clean up right after sex" and he says "Yes, always" and then there's another one with "How often do you shower right after sex?" and he's like "Never" and then there is yet another that asks "How soon after sex do you want to get cleaned up?" he answers "Right away. Very important" but THEN, after all that; there's one that says "Is it important for you to shower and clean up after sex?" and he says "Not at all"... what the literal fuck?

Or the contradictions we know about too... those are fun. "Would you have sex within the first hour or so after meeting someone" and he says "No, unless there was an undeniably attraction" and "Have you ever had sex with someone within the first hour or so after meeting them" and he says "NO"... but the hooker. He had sex with her within the first hour or so after meeting her. Sooo Chris will count the hooker for sex when it comes to him not being a virgin, but a paid sexual partner doesn't count for an online dating site. Hmmm... suspect.

 

[Pinhead]

ID: question_1497
Q: Which would you rather choose: peace on Earth or loads of money?
A: Loads of money
- Total peace around earth is impossible.


Q: Do you talk to and or have conversations with yourself, either outloud or in your head?
A: Yes, both



ID: question_61083
Q: Would you ever picket a business that you do not approve of?
A: No.

BURN DOWN THE GAME PLACE!

 

[CWCTime]

Has anyone else noticed all the contradicting he does with these answers? There's one that asks "Do you clean up right after sex" and he says "Yes, always" and then there's another one with "How often do you shower right after sex?" and he's like "Never" and then there is yet another that asks "How soon after sex do you want to get cleaned up?" he answers "Right away. Very important" but THEN, after all that; there's one that says "Is it important for you to shower and clean up after sex?" and he says "Not at all"... what the literal fuck?

Or the contradictions we know about too... those are fun. "Would you have sex within the first hour or so after meeting someone" and he says "No, unless there was an undeniably attraction" and "Have you ever had sex with someone within the first hour or so after meeting them" and he says "NO"... but the hooker. He had sex with her within the first hour or so after meeting her. Sooo Chris will count the hooker for sex when it comes to him not being a virgin, but a paid sexual partner doesn't count for an online dating site. Hmmm... suspect.

I can't speak for the hooker thing, but maybe for Chris, "cleaning up" after sex doesn't always involve hopping in the shower.

 

[Ahffline]

ID: question_1497
Q: Which would you rather choose: peace on Earth or loads of money?
A: Loads of money
- Total peace around earth is impossible.


Q: Do you talk to and or have conversations with yourself, either outloud or in your head?
A: Yes, both



ID: question_61083
Q: Would you ever picket a business that you do not approve of?
A: No.

BURN DOWN THE GAME PLACE!

It's like Chris answers each question in terms of what he thinks at that exact time he read it. Consistency? Pshh. That doesn't matter. What matters is that he give his TRUE and HONEST answer for each question individually. At least that's my theory anyway.

 

[Donald Duck]

No Chris. You really, REALLY are. Want proof? This image alone says it all:

 

[Misto]

I guess for Chris answering these questions is the equivalent of winning a ton of meaningless PS3 trophies I guess. Not that I'm complaining, it has been very entertaining.

But in his autistic mind, the challenge is to fill out as many answers as quickly as possible, not making sure the questions he answers are the ones that cast him in a positive light (as much as possible).

 

[Owlflaps]

I've been up since yesterday. I was going to go to sleep but then Chris' stupid questionnaire kept me up through the night. They were so hilarious I couldn't sleep.

Fuck you, Cwcki Forums for keeping me up into the wee hours of the night.

But thanks for all the laughter.

 

[CrayolaFuckinModelMagic]

So......those bras are still a thing for Chris, I see.

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

Hmmm so Fatty still wants to dress like a girl but Barb won't let him eh?

I wonder what are the chances he goes all out trannie once Barb isn't controlling him?

As usual Fatty's mind is a mess, giving contradictory answers and generally showing the viewer how fuck up his life is.

How many times must he be smacked down before he realizes that he's not going to get what he wants this time. No super-model is going to swoop in and save the day like in his comics. Every moment he wastes playing Lego and hoping for his Fuck-Mommy to drop out of the sky is a moment less he has to get ready for life after Barb.

 

[Doctor Duke]

Hmmm so Fatty still wants to dress like a girl but Barb won't let him eh?

I wonder what are the chances he goes all out trannie once Barb isn't controlling him?

i'd say pretty poor. that shit takes effort, which i think is by far the bigger reason for not putting on makeup etc.

 

[scxthursday]

It is the cross-dressing itself that puzzles me, not the honesty about it. I know Chris is way too honest way too easily with a lot of things but cross-dressing is very public and obvious, so anyone who meets him in person would know it instantly. It is also the sort of fundamental thing that someone would be annoyed about not being told pretty early on. So given that he cross-dresses, I think it is reasonable that he is open about it.

But I have never quite understood his transvestism. I don't know to what degree he thinks it is attractive versus being something he is fundamentally more comfortable with. I think it is possible that his hatred of males has become a very real and fundamental part of his psyche, which has led him to loathe his own masculinity enough that it has led to transvestism and borderline trans-sexuality. Maybe describing him as a lesbian in a man's body is probably the best way of understanding his sexuality.

If I am right about that, we can't really blame him for cross-dressing or for being open about it. It is a fundamental part of him. He makes it really weird, but he makes everything weird. In a way it is one of the more courageous things he has done, particularly since his parents disapproved of it so much.

Granted it probably turns off a lot of women, which is unfortunate for him, but on the bright side it is not like they were turned on at all to begin with.

Well due to being a "high-functioning" autistic child, OPL has the tendency to take anything said to him literally. Back when he was going back and forth emailing Jackie Romy, she told OPL to "get in touch with his feminine side" because I think she assumed that OPL had no clue what women's rights actually meant, other than his interpretation of all women being sex slaves and shopping addicts like Rosechu is. So Chris being Chris decided to take that saying literally and to the extreme, thus becoming the tomgirl he is today. Now we have an autistic manbaby who wears Snorlax's old ass dresses while gallivanting around Ruckersville. When he revealed this to Jackie, he also told her that he was no longer comfortable using the men's restroom and thus, started using the woman's restroom, even after getting in trouble by a security guard. By him using the woman's restroom, he has made it very apparent that he is no longer comfortable being a man. We can blame him because he does take everything said to him literally. The only way this type of HONEST CONTENT will not turn off a potential heartsweet is if they had the same mentality and immaturity as he does, but I do not think that a woman, autistic or not, would find his honesty attractive. If okcupid asked how many times he bathed or showered in a day/week/month/year, we would probably have a answer similar to the following, "I bathe regularly, but the new AXE Orion Body spray takes care of the showering regularly, so ladies, you can orbit my belt anytime you wish."

So......those bras are still a thing for Chris, I see.

They never went out of style for him, remember when Anna made him that stupid Brassieres for Men page on FB? It only enabled his fucked up thought process more. That, and he likes to tell everyone that he vomits at the sight of mens chests. He would probably have a stroke if he went to a WWE event.

 

[Varis]

I can't recall whether Chris has ever expressed actual desire to *be* a woman. I just figured that Tomgirl was his justification for being a sissy boy.

And since we're doing the Q&A, here's a few more.

Would you consider having a relationship with someone who is married, but no longer has sex with their spouse?

Yes.

Would you consider dating someone who is in the process of getting divorced?

No.

Does the idea of flipping a coin to make important life decisions appeal to you?

Yes.

Is it okay for you to be irrational in making important life decisions?

Yes.

The life of one of your fellow citizens is more valuable than the lives of ten foreigners.

True.

Would you ever consider dating a Buddhist?

Only if he/she was non-practicing

Bless your heart, you autistic wonder.

 

[Picklechu]

I can't recall whether Chris has ever expressed actual desire to *be* a woman. I just figured that Tomgirl was his justification for being a sissy boy.

And since we're doing the Q&A, here's a few more.













Bless your heart, you autistic wonder.

So... He would date an atheist (from an earlier answer), but not a practicing Buddhist, and he would date a married person, but not a divorcee.

 

[Globe]

So... He would date an atheist (from an earlier answer), but not a practicing Buddhist, and he would date a married person, but not a divorcee.

I wonder how many of those questions he had to go through and how long it generally takes, because if it was any longer than 10-15 minutes, I'd bet all of the money in my bank account that he just gave up and went all "your input has been read fully" and stopped paying attention.

 

[timtommy]

So... He would date an atheist (from an earlier answer), but not a practicing Buddhist, and he would date a married person, but not a divorcee.

Well, it could be a justifiable position for someone who is moderately religious to be ok with someone without a religion, but not someone who was serious about another religion. The first might cause less conflicts than the second, particularly if he interpreted practicing as "devout". To be honest, if practicing was replaced with "devout" I might answer the same way.

The married/divorced makes less sense. The only possible justification would be that he saw the questions as basically equivalent, was on the fence about the topic, and happened to answer it differently when it came up on another day. I am really stretching here, and even if it were true, a normal person would probably have used the "skip this question" feature if they were really undecided.

 

[Donald Duck]

I'm confused... According to one of Chris's answers, he has never kissed a non-relative in a "more than friendly way". What gives? Did he not kiss the prostitute?

The poor woman had suffered enough as it was. Him kissing her would've been too much!.... and she'd probably charge him extra.