Updated Transcript Kacey Call 15

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skyraider91 said:
Y'all see, I'm from Oklahoma, 'an yew gotta be from dowwwn south 't understand how we southerners be talkin' 'bout things ya know 'an I waz thinkin' that this here original trans-criber was from eng-land or Australia or some other damn YANKEE territory, 'an therefore didn't really get this here southern speech that barb 'an Chris be a usin' ya got me?

TL;DR I can speak "Hillbilly" real good if I have too.
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I prefer to use the term "Redneckese". For a long time I had people in college convinced that that really WAS a language.
 
Barb isn't disturbed at all by the fact that her son has a sex doll.

Barb isn't disturbed at all by the sight of her son's sex doll.

BUT GOSH DARNIT! IF HE DOESN'T MOVE IT TO THE UTILITY ROOM THEN THAT'S JUST UNACCEPTABLE!

Edit:
Also this was my absolute favorite part.

Chris: I don't know what er whya-why d-you want me to do!:surprised:
Barbara: ANYTHING.:snorlax:
Chris: I don't even- I can't even ah-*sigh*
 
idk of all things barb is terrible about the fact she lets her son talk frankly about sex related things doesn't bother me

if it were the opposite and we had muffled audio of barb saying "gorramn it chrussun dat dere massurbatin will send you to hell" we'd be demonizing her for that too
 
TL;DR version:
Barb: Your Father is so mean to me and never gives me credit and never helps me with anything.
Chris: Wow mommy, that's really rough. I give you credit.
Barb: Which is why I'll need you to help me from now on.
Chris: What? Fuck you!
 
butt in trouble said:
Chris: I don't know what er whya-why d-you want me to do!:surprised:
Barbara: ANYTHING.:snorlax:
Chris: I don't even- I can't even ah-*sigh*
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What did you expect? It isn't like Chris wasn't going to jump up, clap his hands, and say with a big cheesy smile on his face "Great! Let's start by throwing out all of the crap you've brought into the house. We'll have uncluttered hallways, rooms we can actually sit in, and it'll be less of a fire hazard in here!"

And then Barb would croak "THAT'S ABUSIVE, CHRISSUN!"
 
I've always loved Barb breaking down how much energy she has to the hour. What a Snorlax.
 
Doctor Duke said:
idk of all things barb is terrible about the fact she lets her son talk frankly about sex related things doesn't bother me
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There's a difference between a frank discussion about sex and just plain old too much information. This is the latter.
if it were the opposite and we had muffled audio of barb saying "gorramn it chrussun dat dere massurbatin will send you to hell" we'd be demonizing her for that too
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It wouldn't be "demonizing", it'd be legitimately criticizing a messed up way of thinking.
 
There's quite a difference between parents having a discussion of sexual topics at the appropriate age of development and knowing in detail how much your autistic man baby likes to spank his bent pickle.
 
pickleniggo said:
There's quite a difference between parents having a discussion of sexual topics at the appropriate age of development and knowing in detail how much your autistic man baby likes to spank his bent pickle.
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Thing is, this latest transcript makes me wonder how much Barb actually takes in and understands the outside world any more. Entirely self-centred, she ignores everything and everybody until she needs something from them.

Chris has no filter on what's appropriate - sexual or not - this is the guy who told people who were laughing at him over the phone about his DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS. I imagine Chris burbles away about whatever and Barb just tunes him out until she wants something from him.
 
Maybe this is why Barb screams at him and treats him like a slave. Any time she asked him to help out around the house, he just ignored her.
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
Maybe this is why Barb screams at him and treats him like a slave. Any time she asked him to help out around the house, he just ignored her.
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It's also a good reminder of the fact that Barb is just as stupid and deluded as Chris. I speak redneck and I still have no fucking clue what it is she was trying to say there.
 
ChurchOfGodBear said:
This is surreal. First of all, I can hardly understand what Barb is trying to say. She's less intelligible than Chris, on one of Chris's bad days. At the beginning, it's almost like she's saying when you do work for someone, you're supposed to just do the work and not ever worry about getting credit or recognition, even if you get shafted in the end... because the good of your employer has to come first (wow, is that an outdated notion... Apparently Barb thought she worked at GM in the 1950s...)

Then just a bit later, she's bitching and moaning that Bob didn't appreciate anything she did, and all she did was slave over the two of them and guiltguiltguiltyerkillinmechristian... Gawddamn, this makes no sense at all.

Either way, I think Barb is pretty good about slanting any given story in her favor.
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It sounded like she was trying to use her example of "selfless" work ethic as a means of trying to influence Chris to do shit around the house because she eventually gets to...

"Y'know you, you learn to uh, do small work at home, um medium, house-work, outside work. It's just for your creative mind. And it makes things look nice. Okay, and that helps you live the way you live."

And then she makes an excuse for why the kitchen is shit. And another excuse. And then tries to guilt him by saying how dangerous it is for her to work on the house alone (but only when it comes to moving other peoples stuff). More guilt. Excuses mixed with guilting. Remember that the topic was originally Chris trying to copyright Sonichu.

I can see why Chris sucks at guilting. It generally doesn't work on him yet he was constantly getting bombarded with it. She used it so much that anyone would be able to block it out as white noise eventually.
 
At first Barb seems to feel guilty for not helping out around the house much, but then she rants about how Bob doesn't appreciate all the work she did before.
Four hours of energy should be enough to clean up a little clutter. At least she gave Chris ideas on what he could do to help.
 
Summary of the conversation:
Barb: I would like us to get our shit together, but you will have to take the initiative, as I am too old and tired.
Chris: I would also like us to get our shit together, but you will have to take the initiative, I am too stupid and confused.
Barb: Well, I guess this is going nowhere then. Let me tell you a long and pointless series of anecdotes.
Chris: Here is my sex doll.
 
butt in trouble said:
Barb: Your Father is so mean to me and never gives me credit and never helps me with anything.
Chris: Wow mommy, that's really rough. I give you credit.
Barb: Which is why I'll need you to help me from now on.
Chris: What? Fuck you!
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This reminded me of the Lars call.

Lars: You say you love Jackie, but what would you actually do for her?
Chris: Hmm... tell you what, I'll give her the moon.
Lars: Wow, that sounds really romantic.
Chris: Yeah, that's how much I love her. I would give her the whole moon, that's my devotion.
Lars: Well, she doesn't need the moon. How about something more practical? Would you get a job for her? Help support the household financially?
Chris: Wait, what?
 
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