Warhammer 40k

[Great General Ri Shin]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=tqN5JJniSVQ>Be the Eldar empire
>Fresh off the War in Heaven
>Old Ones are all extinct
>Necrons have fled into hiding
>Your empire is the uncontested dominant force in the galaxy
>Entire universe is served up to you on a platter
>You're the supreme beings of the galaxy
>Eldar master race
>Have unparalleled technology and accomplishments
>You can do whatever you want
>borednow.jpg
>Become depraved debauchery monkeys
>Blood orgy.mov
>You literally have nothing better to do
>Nothing at all
>Woe to anyone who crosses paths with you
>You keep other races as sex slaves
>No escape, not even death
>Treat them worse than you do each other
>Hated, feared and avoided by everybody
>But they can't stand up to you
>Everyone hoping you destroy yourself somehow
>Worse than the Necrons
>So bad that other Eldar are running away
>"What's their problem?"
>Something stirring in the Warp
>Ignore it
>Keep murderfucking
>Murderfuck harder
>HARDER
>*KABOOM!*
>New Chaos God just for you
>Worst orgasm ever
>Chaos Gods take eons across millions of sentient species to make
>So much time & effort that there was only three
>So much depravity with such regularity & intensity there's now four
>You speedran a new Chaos God
>Eldar master race
>Entire Eldar home-world planet cluster gobbled up
>All surviving Eldar enslaved to new Chaos God
>Eldar God pantheon decimated by new Gimp God
>Your entire race is basically extinct now
>The galaxy is finally free of you
>All it took was a new space Satan
>You could've done anything else
>But you had nothing better to do
>You still don't

>Some neckbeard on Reddit thinks the Imperium of Man is somehow the worst faction

Not even just the Craftworld eldar, the whole race (minus exodites I guess, they seem kinda neat) are totally balmy. The most hilarious thing to me is how monumentally cucked the Dark Eldar are. I haven't read a lot of their literature so I could be bullshitting here but as I understand it they are able to prevent their souls from being sucked out of their bodies by causing agony to other people, which they can substitute to Slaneesh, and also by hanging out in their webway/hell dimension Coommorragh. It's just funny because I have heard from others that the Drukhari 'actually totally hate slaneesh!' like at what point is one of them gonna notice that they're just massive degenerates who have been, totally coincidentally guize, doing the most fucked up sadomasochist shit and feeding souls to the sex demon spirit for the past 10,000 years and maybe, just maybe notice that despite all of their protestations they're pretty much just slaneesh's unpaid slaves. They literally do it for free, at least Chaos cultists are kinda getting something out of it, as degenerate and retarded as they are. "Ah jeez dude yeah I totally hate that slaneesh guy for real dude, anyway yeah the combination rape orgy - mass slave torture session is at 4:00, usual place."
There's also something very jewish to me about the whole soul-substitution legalese thing the dark eldar get up to, like how jews put their sins into a chicken and kill it at this weird festival they have every year, or the whole concept of a scapegoat. I might just be seeing semites where there aren't any though, for all I know it's a fairly common practice among many different cultures.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

Not even just the Craftworld eldar, the whole race (minus exodites I guess, they seem kinda neat) are totally balmy. The most hilarious thing to me is how monumentally cucked the Dark Eldar are. I haven't read a lot of their literature so I could be bullshitting here but as I understand it they are able to prevent their souls from being sucked out of their bodies by causing agony to other people, which they can substitute to Slaneesh, and also by hanging out in their webway/hell dimension Coommorragh. It's just funny because I have heard from others that the Drukhari 'actually totally hate slaneesh!' like at what point is one of them gonna notice that they're just massive degenerates who have been, totally coincidentally guize, doing the most fucked up sadomasochist shit and feeding souls to the sex demon spirit for the past 10,000 years and maybe, just maybe notice that despite all of their protestations they're pretty much just slaneesh's unpaid slaves. They literally do it for free, at least Chaos cultists are kinda getting something out of it, as degenerate and retarded as they are. "Ah jeez dude yeah I totally hate that slaneesh guy for real dude, anyway yeah the combination rape orgy - mass slave torture session is at 4:00, usual place."

The only thing Eldar hate about Slaanesh is they don't get a choice and the torture isn't solely on their terms. Murderfucking stops being fun when it's your job now.

Reminder they could all use spirit stones to cut themselves off from Slaanesh entirely like the craftworlders do but they seem to refuse that for some reason.

I think the big thing to hate most about the Eldar is how they just squandered literally everything.

If gatekeeping in 40K was as strong as before, Majorkill would have been bullied to the point of leaving the internet. The fact that this cunt is still on the platform is heresy.

Yeah bullshit, Majorkill went through a list of his own competitors in a video and when you see them lined up against him, it's really not a wonder why he's the most popular one when he has the fewest controversies, is the least boring and the least disgusting out of basically every WH40K lore channel.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

>Some neckbeard on Reddit thinks the Imperium of Man is somehow the worst faction

Because fascism

Reminder they could all use spirit stones to cut themselves off from Slaanesh entirely like the craftworlders do but they seem to refuse that for some reason.

I think the spirit stones are extremely hard to get, being in the eye of terror and all. Plus putting your soul in a receptacle for another DE to collect is probably not a big improvement from just dying/getting resurrected by a Haemonchus.

Yeah bullshit, Majorkill went through a list of his own competitors in a video and when you see them lined up against him, it's really not a wonder why he's the most popular one when he has the fewest controversies, is the least boring and the least disgusting out of basically every WH40K lore channel.

Did he mention Arch?

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

Did he mention Arch?

Listening through this and Majorkill does make a handful of decent points, but some are hypocritical, especially when he says he draws the line in the sand at jokes about child abuse. Am I the only one who remembers Timmy? How about all the Catholic schoolboy jokes he made about Lorgar?

 

[BrainProlapse]

Arch could be Hitler's Top Guy and I'd be fine with his videos, his actual sin is talking like a massive faggot.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

Arch could be Hitler's Top Guy and I'd be fine with his videos, his actual sin is talking like a massive faggot.

Likewise, Majorkill was just fine until he started a slapfight with Weshammer, but here we are.

 

[WULULULULU]

I got into it with Dawn of War 1, so likely 4th or 5th edition. Do pooners like 40k at all? There isn't any yaoi softboys in it. Guess they go for Dark Eldar?

I got into it via a mix between DoW: Dark Crusade, TTS and Space Marine so there is that. Sidenote, still haven't tried Reunification Mod in Soulstorm due to computer issues.

 

[KhorneFlakes]

Luetin09 remains the king of the lorehammer sektur by doing nothing but making videos and not interacting with any of the peons beneath him

 

[Miriam Margoyles]

I got into it with Dawn of War 1, so likely 4th or 5th edition. Do pooners like 40k at all? There isn't any yaoi softboys in it. Guess they go for Dark Eldar?

40k is swarming with troons and non-binaries (a.k.a. fat girls with dyed hair), but I have never encountered a single pooner who is into it.

Only real men, like Chad Howitzer-Milwall.

 

[I (Don't) Have A Gun]

Am I the only one who remembers Timmy?

The fictional autistic boy that he would verbally abuse in his skits in his videos and in one of his skits beat up and raped?
Yeah MajorKill is massive fucking hypocrite, a coward who when 40k started becoming woke immediately jumped on that bandwagon and started punching at other warhammer creators in the hope that no one would look to carefully at him.

 

[augment]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=tqN5JJniSVQ
>Some neckbeard on Reddit thinks the Imperium of Man is somehow the worst faction

The only path of thought I can think of to justify this statement is the belief that the Imperium cannot wait to become the next galaxy spanning dictatorship.
But yes the Eldar are (and have been) always capable of unspeakable horrors. Just swing by Commorragh any day of the week without a proper disguise. Part of the issue is that folks fail to understand what the webway and Commorragh truly are, and this is not their fault. This is lack of adept writing and general disinterest in the topic, in favor of publishing more books about what Dante was wearing when he met with Lion, or whatever the hell Asclepius Latin-name is going to do to the baddies with his fellow ultramarines company.

Reminder they could all use spirit stones to cut themselves off from Slaanesh entirely like the craftworlders do but they seem to refuse that for some reason.

Craftworld spirit stones don't work like that. They are a backup plan for when your ass is KIA and you are far away from the craftworld infinity circuit (your soul depository in general). It will hold on to you, preventing Slaanesh from eating your soul straight out, but if those stones break, or someone less scrupulous finds them, you'll be in a world of hurt. A psychic-atuned soul is needed, which is why the commorrites don't have them as they have atrophied their senses for over ten thousands years of sado-hedonism.
The exodites can escape by linking their waystones to a world-network so when they die they literally join with the planet's essence.
Harlequins are different in which they ritualistically give their soul towards the care of the Laughing god. No one outside of the Black Library knows whether this works or not.
Outcasts and corsairs truly live on their own terms, sometimes completely forsaking the stones which gives them the risk-high they seek (and is often unavailable in the safety of a craftworld)

There's a final, even more haphazard and mysterious way of subverting Slaanesh. Should a craftworlder give into his or her own desire for battle, bloodlust beyond reason and outright carnage, they will "trap" themselves on the path of Khaine and become aspect shrine exarchs. The end result being that those souls join a gestalt of previous exarchs, currently coexisting as an amalgalm of souls within the multiple stones embedded on the exarch armor. Not unlike a that jap tale of possessed samurai armor and bloodthirsty sword.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

The only path of thought I can think of to justify this statement is the belief that the Imperium cannot wait to become the next galaxy spanning dictatorship.
But yes the Eldar are (and have been) always capable of unspeakable horrors. Just swing by Commorragh any day of the week without a proper disguise. Part of the issue is that folks fail to understand what the webway and Commorragh truly are, and this is not their fault. This is lack of adept writing and general disinterest in the topic, in favor of publishing more books about what Dante was wearing when he met with Lion, or whatever the hell Asclepius Latin-name is going to do to the baddies with his fellow ultramarines company.

The Craftworld are only slightly better. At least the DE are honest about being egotistical bastards. Craftworld will let billions of non Eldar die if it will convenient their craftworld. Books like to use the Eldar waifu as a plot device, but there is a good reason why humans are insanely distrustful of Eldars while at least having some diplomacy with the Tau.

 

[augment]

There are super-hero minded craftworlds which will go out of their way to fight chaos. Their seers and rangers will manipulate complicated conflicts so as to avoid a confluence where too much Bad gets together and becomes unmanageable. And like you'd imagine, they have paid the price tenfold, like Iyanden, Altansar and Il-Kaithe. Some craftworlds truly go out of their way to remain as hidden as possible, or generally avoid fighting altogether. These aren't much fun so understandably not much has been written about them.

 

[East_Clintwood]

Craftworld will let billions of non Eldar die if it will convenient their craftworld.

Not just "let" but actively cause, from the 8E Eldar Codex entry on Eldrad:

It was his prognostications that resulted in the armies of Ulthwé moving suddenly and unexpectedly against the Ork tribes of Ghazghkull Thraka’s home world. As a result, the balance of power amongst the warring rival factions was changed in favour of Ghazghkull, rather than another OrkWarlord whose ambitions were more directly perilous to the Aeldari, and it was the world of Armageddon, that infamous bastion of Humanity, that felt the full wrath of the great Warlord’s Waaagh!.

 

[Male Idiot]

Eldar also put to rest that silly HH theory that killing of humans would stop Chaos.

Yeah, BL, Dark Eldar are a thing. Orks also like this thing called FIGHTIN'. So Khorne and Slaanesh would be just peachy.

 

[Penne Dreadful]

Craftworld will let billions of non Eldar die if it will convenient their craftworld.

This is true of basically everyone in 40k - how many humans would care about billions of Eldar or Tau deaths to save a single human life? Most would even consider that an upside. Eldar only get extra blame for it because (in the very unusual occurrences that they're not jobbing and actually get to accomplish anything) they actually have the foresight to act on it and arrogant enough to make it rankle.

 

[Snekposter]

Not just "let" but actively cause, from the 8E Eldar Codex entry on Eldrad:

I like /tg/'s description of him.

Where did Eldrad’s reputation for being such a dick come from?

He gives candy to young races.

And that candy will contain a slow-spreading gingivitis bacteria that will fester in the new race and slowly spread amongst their entire species. The gum pain will be considered a normal part of everyday life, and they will regularly take painkillers.

When the ’Nids invade them in 3000 years, they too will be infected by the gingivitis disease—but they are mindless beasts, who know nothing of painkillers. Living in constant pain, only worsened by eating, this massive hive of ’Nids will starve and become extinct, a result of their own adaptation abilities.

And of course, Craftworld Ulthwé would have been the next target for that particular hive to eat. Just. As. Planned.

As far as I'm concerned Saim-Hann are the real Gigachads of the Eldar. Unlike everyone else who is "Path this" and "Path that" to them its all about going fast and bringing honor to their clan. They also just generally do their own thing and pay no attention to their Seer Council, which given the perennial levels of fail and/or dickery those guys get up to is probably a good idea. They also tend to be the most chill of the Eldar when dealing with outsiders.

Besides, red and black is a kickass paint scheme.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

This is true of basically everyone in 40k - how many humans would care about billions of Eldar or Tau deaths to save a single human life?

When humanity has to make a decision, it's "I may have to drop a nuke on this dying planet or lose it to Chaos."

When the Eldar have to make a decision, it's "I could keep my dick out of this situation, or I could hit this hornet's nest with a stick really hard."

Even when their influence on the galaxy is severely reduced, they still wave around arguably a bigger dick than humanity does.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Eldar also put to rest that silly HH theory that killing of humans would stop Chaos.

Yeah, BL, Dark Eldar are a thing. Orks also like this thing called FIGHTIN'. So Khorne and Slaanesh would be just peachy.

Not really actually, DE don't actively worship slannesh and even if they did they far too small. While Orks don't feed Khorne, but Gork/Mork. That being said, there are plenty of races that worship chaos, though most of them were made extinct over the Great Crusade.

This is true of basically everyone in 40k - how many humans would care about billions of Eldar or Tau deaths to save a single human life? Most would even consider that an upside. Eldar only get extra blame for it because (in the very unusual occurrences that they're not jobbing and actually get to accomplish anything) they actually have the foresight to act on it and arrogant enough to make it rankle.

Humans would just ignore Eldar issues unless those would have future complications for them. Eldar foresight makes it look like they actively fuck over humans (which they do anyways). Doesn't help that "Eldar Diplomacy" is usually them charging in and killing everyone without even attempting to explain themselves to anyone in authority, while being extremely smug.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

While Orks don't feed Khorne, but Gork/Mork.

That's debatable, the only Ork who claims to have ever heard the voices of Gork and Mork is Ghazghkull and he's got a metal plate drilled into his brain, and Khorne actively resurrects an entire army of Orks so they can refight one of his own armies over and over. There's actually less narrative evidence for Gork and Mork being real than there is for Malal for the fuckall they do in the setting.