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I dread the EC update.
Hemaphrodite goonchariot-mounted Teminator-armored Chaos Lord wielding a pair of Charnabal Power Dildos pulled by a team of Seekers of Slaanesh as the HQ option.

We both know it's cooming, along with the Noise Marines blasting rap and rolling up in their pimped-out lowered Rhino with gold trim, firing slits for drive-by shootings and Dirge Casters cranked up so high the whole Hive City knows who's spitting the hottest bars.
 
Hemaphrodite goonchariot-mounted Teminator-armored Chaos Lord wielding a pair of Charnabal Power Dildos pulled by a team of Seekers of Slaanesh as the HQ option.

We both know it's cooming, along with the Noise Marines blasting rap and rolling up in their pimped-out lowered Rhino with gold trim, firing slits for drive-by shootings and Dirge Casters cranked up so high the whole Hive City knows who's spitting the hottest bars.
That first thing sounds awful but the the blinged-out Rhino?

That would mean a new Rhino kit in 40k and that’s good for everybody.
 
Hemaphrodite goonchariot-mounted Teminator-armored Chaos Lord wielding a pair of Charnabal Power Dildos pulled by a team of Seekers of Slaanesh as the HQ option.

We both know it's cooming, along with the Noise Marines blasting rap and rolling up in their pimped-out lowered Rhino with gold trim, firing slits for drive-by shootings and Dirge Casters cranked up so high the whole Hive City knows who's spitting the hottest bars.
Okay, but is any of that out-of-character for the most fucked-up people in all of 40k to the point even Horus found their shenanigans harder to stomach than DP Angron dawdling on his way to Terra as a result of needing to top up his bloodshed meter every other world to avoid getting kicked back to the Warp?

That is an absolute baller Rhino though, reminiscent of the 80's hair metal style the EC had in the earliest editions, and that GW has brought back. Bring out the Doof!
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"Witness!"
"WITNESS!"

And then that faggot Lucius just calls everyone mediocre like the buzzkill he is.
 
Okay, but is any of that out-of-character for the most fucked-up people in all of 40k to the point even Horus found their shenanigans harder to stomach than DP Angron dawdling on his way to Terra as a result of needing to top up his bloodshed meter every other world to avoid getting kicked back to the Warp?
No. But it makes gamers cringe, especially when their Keeper of Secrets proxy is just a scantily-clad 1:8 waifu figurine that costs more than the rest of their 3D printed genuine GW plastic army combined. Rock up to your local table with this:

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on its 95 x 95 mm hexagon stand when the Keeper of Secrets model from AoS is on a 100 mm base. That's close enough to legal for casuals, right?
 
What are this thread's posters' favorite and least favorite factions?
I'd be a normie and aay Space Marines. Yeah you have a lot of cool other factions, but SM are iconic for a reason. As for legion it's more dependent on the writer, some are absolutely cringe or awesome.

As for least favourite, it's 100% Tyranids. They are shit in every book and don't mesh well into the power struggle because logically Chaos would focus on them more than the Imperium.
This really always confused me, like saying how Tau are communists, yet the whole caste stuff flies in its face. Even their vague "Greater good" cannot be contribute to communist ideals.
Tau are more Nazis than Commies.
 
What are this thread's posters' favorite and least favorite factions?
Hard to choose, but I guess I generally tend to find myself being drawn to the Raven Guard. Jump pack units are my weakness, beakie vanguard veterans with lightning claws probably being my favorite models. I'm also one of the few out there who actually think phobos units are cool.

Least favorite is probably Tau. Feel they come across as inconsequential or irrelevant to the setting. Its lore identity doesnt translate to the table well. Mech faction that is totally actually a xenos soup faction we swear. Auxiliary species stuff feels tacked on.
 
The "Rumors" of chaos daemons being literally drawn and quartered into the god legions annoys me as a word bearer enjoyer with casual soup allies. Unless they give Belly a small condo apartment next to vashtor in the csm book and allow for multi-god daemon lists in that way, many of my fruity naked daemon mans are going to be homeless.
 
What are this thread's posters' favorite and least favorite factions?
The ones I run:
  • Dark Angels because I like their logo and color scheme, plus they're aspies like me.
  • Deathwatch because they're like a team of each chapter's All-Stars.
  • Kriegers because they're both badass and charming *happy gas mask noises*
  • Orks, because....
You have guys who can assemble the most wildest shit and make it work, combined they're the only faction who seems to have fun in the 40k world
...If you don't find casually-violent Cockney retards who can pose an existential threat to whole planets just by doing what they consider having a good time, then you're in the wrong hobby.

Ones I like, but don't play:
  • Emperor's Children, because seeing their Rekieta-like downward spiral in Fulgrim was funny as hell
  • Deathguard for being shamelessly revolting
  • Tyranids because Xenos should be fuckin' scary
Least favorite:
  • Thousand Sons, because their Egyptian theme is tacky and Magnus the Red looks like Satan from South Park
  • Tau, Eldar, and Necrons bore me
And then that faggot Lucius just calls everyone mediocre like the buzzkill he is.
I will always admire Garviel Loken for breaking that ponce's nose and humbling his pride.
Okay, but is any of that out-of-character for the most fucked-up people in all of 40k
Exactly. Even pre-Heresy, Fulgrim is already basically a femboy. They're supposed to be hedonistic degenerates that make Sodom and Gomorrah look like paragons of self-control.
 
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The ones I run:
  • Dark Angels because I like their logo and color scheme, plus they're aspies like me.
  • Deathwatch because they're like a team of each chapter's All-Stars.
  • Kriegers because they're both badass and charming *happy gas mask noises*
  • Orks, because....

...If you don't find casually-violent Cockney retards who can pose an existential threat to whole planets just by doing what they consider having a good time, then you're in the wrong hobby.

Ones I like, but don't play:
  • Emperor's Children, because seeing their Rekieta-like downward spiral in Fulgrim was funny as hell
  • Deathguard for being shamelessly revolting
  • Tyranids because Xenos should be fuckin' scary
Least favorite:
  • Thousand Sons, because their Egyptian theme is tacky and Magnus the Red looks like Satan from South Park
  • Tau, Eldar, and Necrons bore me

I will always admire Garviel Loken for breaking that ponce's nose and humbling his pride.

Exactly. Even pre-Heresy, Fulgrim is already basically a femboy. They're supposed to be hedonistic degenerates that make Sodom and Gomorrah look like paragons of self-control.
Seeing Rackets re-enact the Fulgrim novel was fucking insane. Both were equally hilarious, the first time reading Fulgrim it’s a good downfall story. I remember having to stop painting cause Balldo’s madness was too funny at times.

Successive reads? Good comedy, especially when Lucius is at the bar nursing his wounded pride (alongside base humans which is always funny) and that chick starts cutting herself in such a manner that even Lucius is wigged out.
 
Exactly. Even pre-Heresy, Fulgrim is already basically a femboy. They're supposed to be hedonistic degenerates that make Sodom and Gomorrah look like paragons of self-control.
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(The whole thing is actually a lot more badass on Horus' part and demonstrates exactly why he was chosen as Warmaster, but is far less memeable.)
‘YOU DARE RETURN to me in failure?’ bellowed Horus, the bridge of the Vengeful Spirit shaking with the fury of his voice. His face twisted in anger, and Fulgrim smiled as he watched the Warmaster struggle to hold his Cthonic fury in check. The Vengeful Spirit had changed a great deal since Fulgrim had last stood in the Warmaster’s inner sanctum, its once open and brightly lit hubbub replaced with something far darker.

‘Do you even understand what I am trying to do here?’ continued Horus. ‘What I have started at Isstvan will consume the whole galaxy, and if it is flawed from the outset then the Emperor will break us!’

Fulgrim allowed a smile of delicious insouciance to surface on his face, the excitement of finally arriving at Isstvan III, and the scale of the carnage wrought below, stimulating his taste for the excessive. Though the Pride of the Emperor had but recently arrived, Fulgrim had been careful to appear before the Warmaster as magnificent as ever, his exquisite armour worked with fresh layers of vivid purples and gold, with many new embellishments and finery added to complement the bright colours. His long white hair was pulled back, and his pale cheeks were marked with the beginnings of tattoos that Serena d’Angelus had designed for him.

‘Ferrus Manus is a dull fool who would not listen to reason,’ said Fulgrim. ‘Even the mention of the Mechanicum’s pledge did not—’

‘You swore to me that you could sway him! The Iron Hands were essential to my plans. I planned Isstvan III with your assurance that Ferrus Manus would join us. Now I find that I have yet another enemy to contend with. A great many of our Astartes will die because of this, Fulgrim.’

‘What would you have had me do, Warmaster?’ smiled Fulgrim, being sure to twist his words with a sly mocking tone. ‘His will was stronger than I anticipated.’

‘Or you simply had an inflated opinion of your own abilities.’

‘Would you have had me kill our brother, Warmaster?’ asked Fulgrim, hoping that Horus would not ask such a thing of him, but knowing that it was what he wanted to hear. ‘For I will if that is what you desire of me.’

‘Perhaps I do,’ replied Horus unmoved. ‘It would be better than leaving him to roam free to destroy our plans. As it is, he could reach the Emperor or one of the other primarchs and bring them all down on our heads before we are ready.’

‘Then if you are quite finished with me, I shall return to my Legion,’ said Fulgrim, turning away with a flourish calculated to infuriate the Warmaster. He was not to be disappointed, and felt his heart pound as Horus said, ‘No, you will not. I have another task for you. I am sending you to Isstvan V. With all that has happened, the Emperor’s response is likely to arrive more quickly than anticipated and we must be prepared for it. Take a detail of Emperor’s Children to the alien fortresses there and prepare it for the final phase of the Isstvan operation.’

Fulgrim recoiled and turned back to his brother, the disgust at such a menial role horrifying and repugnant. The exquisite sensations flooding his body at his baiting of the Warmaster faded and left him hollow inside. ‘You would consign me to the role of castellan, as some housekeeper making your property ready for your grand entrance? Why not send for Perturabo? This kind of thing is more to his liking.’

‘Perturabo has his own role to play,’ said Horus. ‘Even now, he prepares to lay waste to his home world in my name. We shall be hearing more of our bitter brother very soon, have no fear of that.’

‘Then give this task to Mortarion!’ spat Fulgrim. ‘His grimy footsloggers will relish an opportunity to muddy their hands for you! My Legion was the chosen of the Emperor in the years when he still deserved our service. I am the most glorious of his heroes and the right hand of this new Crusade. This is… this is a betrayal of the very principles for which I chose to join you, Horus!’

‘Betrayal?’ said Horus, his voice low and dangerous. ‘A strong word, Fulgrim. Betrayal is what the Emperor forced upon us when he abandoned the galaxy to pursue his quest for godhood and gave over the conquests of our Crusade to scriveners and bureaucrats. Is that the charge you would level at me, to my face, on the bridge of my own ship?’

Fulgrim stepped back, his anger fading as he felt Horus’s rage wash over him, relishing the crawling sensations that filled him at the excitement of the confrontation. ‘Perhaps I do, Horus. Perhaps someone needs to tell you a few home truths, now that your precious Mournival is no more.’

‘That sword,’ said Horus, indicating the venom sheened weapon that Fulgrim had been given at their last meeting. ‘I gave you that blade as a symbol of my trust in you, Fulgrim. We alone know the true power that lies within it. That weapon almost killed me, and yet I gave it away. Do you think I would give such a weapon to one I do not trust?’

‘No, Warmaster,’ said Fulgrim.

‘Exactly. The Isstvan V phase of my plan is the most critical,’ said Horus, and Fulgrim could feel the Warmaster’s superlative diplomatic skills coming to the fore as the dangerous embers of his ego were fanned.

‘Even more so than what is happening below us. I can entrust it to no other. You must go to Isstvan V, my brother. All depends on your success.’

Fulgrim let the violent potential crackling between them continue for a long, frightening moment, before laughing. ‘And now you flatter me, hoping my ego will coerce me into obeying your orders.’

‘Is it working?’ asked Horus.

‘Yes,’ admitted Fulgrim. ‘Very well, the Warmaster’s will be done. I will go to Isstvan V.’
 
Tithes episode 2
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** Tyrith Shiva Kyrus (the first three of a long list of honorific names earned fighting for the Emperor) has the privilege of being our first portrayal of a female Custodian Guard since the recent revelation that Custodians can be any gender. This fact came as a real surprise to many, since it wasn’t something previously explored. That, in and of itself, isn’t a particularly unusual thing for Warhammer 40,000 and its lore; there are simply loads of things the Warhammer Studios have never expressly stated, whether that’s ruling them in or out.***
It's joever.
 
Female custodians aren't real, it's Amazon investor pandering, it's intern going rogue, it's editor AND twitter intern going rogue, GW won't allow it to happen, Henry Cavill won't let it happen.
 
Eh. They were never going to be allowed to undo the change. Once they got female custodes in that codex, no matter how it happened, it was all over except the eventual capitulation. Them taking the most modern day vidya game female character man jaw tranny and saying "behold, a woman" is kinda the most hilarious way they could handle it, tho. Especially in an animation that is so shit I can't even find it online to pirate, no one cares that much.
 
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