Agent of Z.O.G.
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2016
Dark Souls
Warhammer 40k
- Thread starter Great Unclean Chris
- Start date
-
Want to keep track of this thread?
Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
Create account
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
Leaving things vague on purpose for college Philosophy dropouts to make money via overspeculating to a cripplingly autistic audience does not a series make.
That's why the correct answer to lore is ALF.
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2016
Star Wars has lore about woodoo hide, so if you want sheer shameless, mind-numbing volume, I'd vote SW.
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
Could you imagine this but with the Emperor's life support on the Golden Throne?
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2015
Sounds like Tolkien tier writing
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2014
Not necessarily 40k related but Anita Sarkesian has been invited to gencon as a guest of honour.
https://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/330/758032.page
https://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/330/758032.page
Kyria the Great
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2017
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2013
Ok...things havent been great for the past 2 weeks in 40k world so how about I do yall fagnigz a favour and link you the unreleased new episode of Emperor TTS
Zaryiu
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2017
Cool, thanks
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
Obligatory pouring of acid salt on the fans who demanded this be like an hour long and only one a year at best.
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2014
Yes he is / was as where the majority of the Teran Thousand Son's I think one or two may have been from other areas but that was more due to a issue with numbers, it was mentiond in some of the fluff that Iran got off lightly in The Unification Wars and During Old Night so where more pliable to the geen seed of Magnus because they where more stable and the theiory was the unstable seed of magnus wouldn't be as drastically variable as it could be with less pure humans.
This backfired as the base genetics where not as used to random strange bits of DNA breaking down, supposedly the best able to deal with this was the Dusk Raiders (Death Guard) but that's because of they where recruited from the polouted hives of Ursh (Russia) and where able to adapt better due to random DNA mutations happening and the genetics of the local population developing a resistance to this.
That's not exactly the case a lot of them look alike but can be told apart after a short period of time, it's mostly because of the PA they ware in most of there human interactions that throws people off. If your a Serf or a HH era human an you where exposed to them more regularly it was prety much on par with humans.
40k without a doubt.
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2014
Even serfs like those featured in Garro or the war for fang have trouble identifying marines other than those they are assigned to or members of the same squad and they mostly rely on squad markings or legacy weapons. That said space marines (other than a notable few) don't give a shit about serfs.
It's further complicated by the fluff/your dudes argument when you consider the codex chapters post HH have psychoindoctrination which was introduced to the recruitment process to remove free thought / the rebellious nature present in the old legions further reinforced by the chaplains and constant sermons. Space marines don't just look alike they even think alike and fight alike, thrown in the old "day of a space marine" from the 3rd codex and your average marine gets maybe an hour a day free time and they spend that in silent contemplation or reading the codex.
But this doesn't translate well to books so we get the "your dudes".
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2013
Ya know after soberly (well....mostly shitfaced but emotionally sober) reconsidering the whole "warhammer 40k adventures" thing I realised to my sadness that in theory the concept could well be salvaged.
When I was a kid there were books aimed at me that were full of violence, horror, and filth in the form of things like the "Horrible History" series which were universally full of blood and gore and shit and piss and genocide and worse (no rape or sex tho, which is ok since 40k skimps on this aswell) and they were really fucking successful and are still going to this day, with a TV show adaptation apparently being even more of a success. Given this was the 90s/early 2000s surely times have changed enough for this level of grimdark to be easily acceptable in a warhammer book....but then we already know this shit wont happen because they decided that instead of what kids actually like reading about (i.e. shit they think is edgy like blood and guts and horror and war) they will market the books to the overprotective "can I see your manager?" mom demographic who think that the only thing children need is clean and preachy "FRIENDSHIP IS AWESUMFUN GUIZ! DO YOUR HOMEWORK AND DONT GET INTO FIGHTS!" swill.
Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised and they will try and make these books just mediocre instead of pure cancer...but im not holding my breath
EDIT: also im increasingly hearing rumours that Sanguinius will be returning, to much nerdrage at how this apparently fucks the story up. Personally I hope if he does come back he comes back as a full on Super Black Rage infected psycho god since that would be a nice subversion of the saintly faggot he was before death
When I was a kid there were books aimed at me that were full of violence, horror, and filth in the form of things like the "Horrible History" series which were universally full of blood and gore and shit and piss and genocide and worse (no rape or sex tho, which is ok since 40k skimps on this aswell) and they were really fucking successful and are still going to this day, with a TV show adaptation apparently being even more of a success. Given this was the 90s/early 2000s surely times have changed enough for this level of grimdark to be easily acceptable in a warhammer book....but then we already know this shit wont happen because they decided that instead of what kids actually like reading about (i.e. shit they think is edgy like blood and guts and horror and war) they will market the books to the overprotective "can I see your manager?" mom demographic who think that the only thing children need is clean and preachy "FRIENDSHIP IS AWESUMFUN GUIZ! DO YOUR HOMEWORK AND DONT GET INTO FIGHTS!" swill.
Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised and they will try and make these books just mediocre instead of pure cancer...but im not holding my breath
EDIT: also im increasingly hearing rumours that Sanguinius will be returning, to much nerdrage at how this apparently fucks the story up. Personally I hope if he does come back he comes back as a full on Super Black Rage infected psycho god since that would be a nice subversion of the saintly faggot he was before death
Last edited:
S
SP 199
Guest
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
That reminds me, if you guys want to ever create a setting for your Army Men fights, why not try the Planet Generator from 1d4chan's wiki? It's quite elaborate and it can allow you to create entire sectors like what my tabletop group did.
Speaking of which, let me tell you the tale of the Kiwi Sector, named in honor of the tabletop group being pretty much only Kiwis. It is fittingly a complete and utter shithole.
Some celestial bodies of interest include:
The Death World of Mogash, a jungle hive world fighting for its survival against a WAAAUGH! trying to conquer/get off this planet. It's inhabited by nothing but the meanest of gangers, akin in tone to the Crips, MS-13, Hell's Angels, and the Triad gangs. All of this while being roided up on the naturally toxic plant and animal life that calls this shithole home.
A War Moon of the Pleasure World of Hyperion. It too was once a Pleasure World, but found that the semi-regular hostile takeovers of casinos and brothels brought bored nobles who wanted a taste of blood in a safe arrangement. Naturally they tried profiting off of it, but now have accidentally made their economy on a newly too serious war that threatens to destroy the planet. The play fighting became real, and now all suffer.
The War World of Calladax. It was a crumbling hiveworld that used to pump out hab block components, think of it as a shitty home depot. But then they went under a civil war when the winning dictator cheated in the "fair and public" elections for the governorship. The other dictator candidates got mad and have dragged the planet into currently 20 years of all out war, forcing business to its moon Haephestos, a far more stable Hiveworld.
The Inquisitorial experiment of Gardili. It was a near inhospitable Super-Pluto with low gravity that an Inquisitor (who fittingly we rolled and he came out much like Chris Chan) set as an experiment in "redeeming" people. He would dump random fucks onto the planet only armed with a knife and the Aquila of the emperor. This has resulted in a Feral world that has been claimed by a psychotic Space Marine Chapter and their "Sibling" order of Sororitas. Both of them are fucking lunatics that make the Black Templars look reasonable.
The Agriworld of Khazrak, which like many Imperial holdings has slid into a civil war. The three factions are the Governor's Men, the elite ruling class and humans of this planet who have subtly fell to Chaos. There's the Powderkegs, a sect of Hereteks who through cargo cult level of understanding of the Cult Mechanicus have set out to build the Machine God, and lastly the Loyalists, who hilariously enough we rolled as Beastmen.
The Frontier world of Karak Norn (or Krakorn); basically it's a restitution planet for the very few remaining Squats that survived their worlds getting eaten. They are the minority of this planet, with the clear majority being Ogryns. The Ogryns form the police force, while the Squats are the army. This planet is also toxic and frozen, because abhumans cannot have nice things. Also the Ogryns wear denim and flannel, with cowboy boots they buy from the Cowboy Moon of Gardili.
Then we have the crown jewel of shit; the epitome of GrimDerp... Acheron. I'm just going to post what the fuck we rolled here:
You read that right; it's a Xenos War World which is completely inimical to life for humans. Its oceans are semi-boiling ammonia, the atmosphere is thick as hell due to being a dwarf-Neptune, the gravity and pressure hurts all but space marines, and don't get me started on how the terrain is so geologically active the surface of the ocean floor reworks itself daily.
The creatures are a pacifistic Isopod-like creature that have no gain or desire to conquer worlds more fitting to human kind; they can only tolerate near boiling temperatures without protections and live in basic fluids. There is no reason to kill them, to the point where the main reason this 200 year shitshow continues is only because the Sororitas (who are true Bolter Bitches) are too stubborn and full of psychotic hate for xenos to just fucking stop. Like, to give you an idea, the world is so hostile it KILLS space marines like it isn't a problem just touching down on it!
The Inquisition in this sector do not see a value in killing them since they are non-threatening, their planet has no value beyond the somewhat less terrible moons, and one other thing: they are delicious. They are among the most delicious things in the galaxy when prepared (we rolled for this), to the point some nobles would bankrupt themselves just to taste a leg off one of them.
And I Quote: "The Crab Crock War: 4,931,00,000/181,196 over a 184 year period; the Glory of Humanity has no Bounds or Sanity"
The saddest thing? These critters have no concept of an afterlife. They would happily give their dead to humans if they were just left alone in their horrible hot tub planet.
Speaking of which, let me tell you the tale of the Kiwi Sector, named in honor of the tabletop group being pretty much only Kiwis. It is fittingly a complete and utter shithole.
Some celestial bodies of interest include:
The Death World of Mogash, a jungle hive world fighting for its survival against a WAAAUGH! trying to conquer/get off this planet. It's inhabited by nothing but the meanest of gangers, akin in tone to the Crips, MS-13, Hell's Angels, and the Triad gangs. All of this while being roided up on the naturally toxic plant and animal life that calls this shithole home.
A War Moon of the Pleasure World of Hyperion. It too was once a Pleasure World, but found that the semi-regular hostile takeovers of casinos and brothels brought bored nobles who wanted a taste of blood in a safe arrangement. Naturally they tried profiting off of it, but now have accidentally made their economy on a newly too serious war that threatens to destroy the planet. The play fighting became real, and now all suffer.
The War World of Calladax. It was a crumbling hiveworld that used to pump out hab block components, think of it as a shitty home depot. But then they went under a civil war when the winning dictator cheated in the "fair and public" elections for the governorship. The other dictator candidates got mad and have dragged the planet into currently 20 years of all out war, forcing business to its moon Haephestos, a far more stable Hiveworld.
The Inquisitorial experiment of Gardili. It was a near inhospitable Super-Pluto with low gravity that an Inquisitor (who fittingly we rolled and he came out much like Chris Chan) set as an experiment in "redeeming" people. He would dump random fucks onto the planet only armed with a knife and the Aquila of the emperor. This has resulted in a Feral world that has been claimed by a psychotic Space Marine Chapter and their "Sibling" order of Sororitas. Both of them are fucking lunatics that make the Black Templars look reasonable.
The Agriworld of Khazrak, which like many Imperial holdings has slid into a civil war. The three factions are the Governor's Men, the elite ruling class and humans of this planet who have subtly fell to Chaos. There's the Powderkegs, a sect of Hereteks who through cargo cult level of understanding of the Cult Mechanicus have set out to build the Machine God, and lastly the Loyalists, who hilariously enough we rolled as Beastmen.
The Frontier world of Karak Norn (or Krakorn); basically it's a restitution planet for the very few remaining Squats that survived their worlds getting eaten. They are the minority of this planet, with the clear majority being Ogryns. The Ogryns form the police force, while the Squats are the army. This planet is also toxic and frozen, because abhumans cannot have nice things. Also the Ogryns wear denim and flannel, with cowboy boots they buy from the Cowboy Moon of Gardili.
Then we have the crown jewel of shit; the epitome of GrimDerp... Acheron. I'm just going to post what the fuck we rolled here:
Acheron
War World(Xenos World)(Humans are invading these poor aliens)
Tech: Advanced Space
Large Star
There is no Adeptus Terra ANYWHERE, nothing
Size: 252,000 Kilometers (6 times Terra's size)
AXIAL TILT: 86-95 Severe (36-45o tilt)
Average Temperature: +451 o to 149 o
41 hour days
160 Days in a year
47 Satellites:
28 of have been claimed by human Mercenaries
1 held on by the Aliens
1 by Freebootas
1 by the Dorian Urchins (Traitor Space Brits from a Forge World)
Last But Not Least, 1 by Hargart's Harmbringers, a Dark Kabal who engineered this horrible war between the aliens and the Bolter Bitches
Gravity: Very Heavy (2x Terra's)
Atmosphere: Barely Bearable, near Tainted with the water having a Ph of 11(Ammonia)
Hydrosphere: Aquatic Temperature: Searing 300 Degree's+
Population: 25 Billion
NATIVE FLORA AND FAUNA: Horrible Leviathan (colonial organism that eats large prey and filter feeds), Knife Fish, Strangleweed (tough as shit seaweed that can tangle a man), Sea Snakes the size of Whales, and so much more
Government: Democracy
Defense: Enforcers: Small Size/Medium Quality
Militia: Huge size/Medium-Poor Quality
Armoured Force: Medium Size/Poor Quality
Titan Force: One(Crab version of Guren Lagan)
Private Army/Armies: Small Size/Medium-Poor Quality
Mercenary Force: Large/Medium-High Quality (mainly other Humans)
War World(Xenos World)(Humans are invading these poor aliens)
Tech: Advanced Space
Large Star
There is no Adeptus Terra ANYWHERE, nothing
Size: 252,000 Kilometers (6 times Terra's size)
AXIAL TILT: 86-95 Severe (36-45o tilt)
Average Temperature: +451 o to 149 o
41 hour days
160 Days in a year
47 Satellites:
28 of have been claimed by human Mercenaries
1 held on by the Aliens
1 by Freebootas
1 by the Dorian Urchins (Traitor Space Brits from a Forge World)
Last But Not Least, 1 by Hargart's Harmbringers, a Dark Kabal who engineered this horrible war between the aliens and the Bolter Bitches
Gravity: Very Heavy (2x Terra's)
Atmosphere: Barely Bearable, near Tainted with the water having a Ph of 11(Ammonia)
Hydrosphere: Aquatic Temperature: Searing 300 Degree's+
Population: 25 Billion
NATIVE FLORA AND FAUNA: Horrible Leviathan (colonial organism that eats large prey and filter feeds), Knife Fish, Strangleweed (tough as shit seaweed that can tangle a man), Sea Snakes the size of Whales, and so much more
Government: Democracy
Defense: Enforcers: Small Size/Medium Quality
Militia: Huge size/Medium-Poor Quality
Armoured Force: Medium Size/Poor Quality
Titan Force: One(Crab version of Guren Lagan)
Private Army/Armies: Small Size/Medium-Poor Quality
Mercenary Force: Large/Medium-High Quality (mainly other Humans)
You read that right; it's a Xenos War World which is completely inimical to life for humans. Its oceans are semi-boiling ammonia, the atmosphere is thick as hell due to being a dwarf-Neptune, the gravity and pressure hurts all but space marines, and don't get me started on how the terrain is so geologically active the surface of the ocean floor reworks itself daily.
The creatures are a pacifistic Isopod-like creature that have no gain or desire to conquer worlds more fitting to human kind; they can only tolerate near boiling temperatures without protections and live in basic fluids. There is no reason to kill them, to the point where the main reason this 200 year shitshow continues is only because the Sororitas (who are true Bolter Bitches) are too stubborn and full of psychotic hate for xenos to just fucking stop. Like, to give you an idea, the world is so hostile it KILLS space marines like it isn't a problem just touching down on it!
The Inquisition in this sector do not see a value in killing them since they are non-threatening, their planet has no value beyond the somewhat less terrible moons, and one other thing: they are delicious. They are among the most delicious things in the galaxy when prepared (we rolled for this), to the point some nobles would bankrupt themselves just to taste a leg off one of them.
And I Quote: "The Crab Crock War: 4,931,00,000/181,196 over a 184 year period; the Glory of Humanity has no Bounds or Sanity"
The saddest thing? These critters have no concept of an afterlife. They would happily give their dead to humans if they were just left alone in their horrible hot tub planet.
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
I'm gonna assume that the human mercs on the moons are basically just the 41st millennium version of these guys.
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
Kind of. Splice in poaching and add extortion though, since several merc units find it's more valuable and less trying to just go for the gems and precious metals the Crabs fly out as "LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE" money.
A good portion of the Imperium's casualties in this shitshow are the mercs squabbling over the inhabitants' bodies or the mineral offerings to go away.
Zaryiu
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2017
So much Hy has the inquisition not stepped in yet to tell the best lter bitches to calm th e fuck down and stop wasting the Empero's resources?