- Joined
- Feb 1, 2015
I have to say that it is a pretty weak argument to claim that Bob was a better parent than Barb. First off, that's holding Bob to a pretty low standard and second -- regardless of his age -- there were higher expectations of Bob. Bob was a college-educated engineer who had traveled to many foreign countries and been involved in some pretty cool stuff; Babs was a bar-hopping hillbilly whose greatest accomplishment was getting a job as a typist at a local utility company. Then, when you add in the facts that Babs is completely self-involved, only cares about herself, and is batshit insane, Bob needed to take the lead in raising Chris and, for the most part, he didn't.
And, yeah-yeah, I know Bob was already nearing grandparent-age when he had Chris. Not my problem. Apologies in advance for the crudity but if you stick your dick in a woman, you risk a kid popping out nine months later. As @Tragi-Chan has already pointed out, Babs may have refused to abort as a way to coerce Bob to stay with her. But, you know -- you do the crime, you do the time. When Bob and Barb found out they were pregnant, they needed to decide if -- at their ages -- they wanted to raise a kid or not. Once they made the decision to raise the child, they also accepted the responsibilities that go with having a child. Granted, having a special needs child was a bit of a kick in the nuts but, again, not my problem and that's a risk they took having a child at their age.
Now, where I think Bob truly failed Chris was in allowing him to behave in a way that made him the lolcow we all know and love today. It's not normal for an adult to walk around wearing a cartoon hedgehog medallion and, regardless of his age, Bob knew that. However, he still allowed Chris to wear the medallion. It's not normal for an adult to stalk women in public places by carrying around a giant sign and, regardless of his age, Bob knew that. However, he still allowed Chris to carry the sign. It's not normal for an adult to stay in his room and make a series of videos where he screams like a maniac into a camera and, regardless of his age, Bob knew that. However, he still allowed Chris to make his videos. Most of us agree that Bob did not understand Chris's autism and had no idea how to deal with it but there's no denying that Bob had some level of control over Chris and was occasionally able to get Chris to integrate into society (Wendy's, PVCC). It's just that there were a lot of other times that he failed to exert any parental influence over his son and allowed Chris to act like a complete imbecile.
I also think Bob was nowhere near as involved in Chris's day-to-day life and interests as a parent should be. For example, Bob knew of Sonichu and Chris's interest in drawing. If he were optimistic enough to think that Chris would someday actually be able to support himself, instead of steering Chris toward a CAD degree at PVCC (Seriously, what the hell are you going to do with a CAD degree in Ruckersville/Charlottesville?), he could have pushed Chris toward graphic design or an art school. Hell, earlier in life, he could have just brought home a handful of Archie comics and sat down with Chris and gone over storytelling techniques, page layouts, etc. with him, instead of just letting him sit in his room playing video games and watching TV all day.
This isn't going to be a popular opinion but, relatively speaking, I think Bob was a bigger failure of a parent than Barb, purely because the expectations for Bob were higher, and Bob should have been able to see the outcomes of his decisions, should have realized the damage he was doing, and should have known better. And, as so many other folks on this site have pointed out, Bob's other children have cut off all contact with him. Regardless of the reason, and even if you hate your parent's new spouse/children, cutting off contact with a parent is a huge decision. I hate to speak ill of the dead, but Bob was no saint.
And, yeah-yeah, I know Bob was already nearing grandparent-age when he had Chris. Not my problem. Apologies in advance for the crudity but if you stick your dick in a woman, you risk a kid popping out nine months later. As @Tragi-Chan has already pointed out, Babs may have refused to abort as a way to coerce Bob to stay with her. But, you know -- you do the crime, you do the time. When Bob and Barb found out they were pregnant, they needed to decide if -- at their ages -- they wanted to raise a kid or not. Once they made the decision to raise the child, they also accepted the responsibilities that go with having a child. Granted, having a special needs child was a bit of a kick in the nuts but, again, not my problem and that's a risk they took having a child at their age.
Now, where I think Bob truly failed Chris was in allowing him to behave in a way that made him the lolcow we all know and love today. It's not normal for an adult to walk around wearing a cartoon hedgehog medallion and, regardless of his age, Bob knew that. However, he still allowed Chris to wear the medallion. It's not normal for an adult to stalk women in public places by carrying around a giant sign and, regardless of his age, Bob knew that. However, he still allowed Chris to carry the sign. It's not normal for an adult to stay in his room and make a series of videos where he screams like a maniac into a camera and, regardless of his age, Bob knew that. However, he still allowed Chris to make his videos. Most of us agree that Bob did not understand Chris's autism and had no idea how to deal with it but there's no denying that Bob had some level of control over Chris and was occasionally able to get Chris to integrate into society (Wendy's, PVCC). It's just that there were a lot of other times that he failed to exert any parental influence over his son and allowed Chris to act like a complete imbecile.
I also think Bob was nowhere near as involved in Chris's day-to-day life and interests as a parent should be. For example, Bob knew of Sonichu and Chris's interest in drawing. If he were optimistic enough to think that Chris would someday actually be able to support himself, instead of steering Chris toward a CAD degree at PVCC (Seriously, what the hell are you going to do with a CAD degree in Ruckersville/Charlottesville?), he could have pushed Chris toward graphic design or an art school. Hell, earlier in life, he could have just brought home a handful of Archie comics and sat down with Chris and gone over storytelling techniques, page layouts, etc. with him, instead of just letting him sit in his room playing video games and watching TV all day.
This isn't going to be a popular opinion but, relatively speaking, I think Bob was a bigger failure of a parent than Barb, purely because the expectations for Bob were higher, and Bob should have been able to see the outcomes of his decisions, should have realized the damage he was doing, and should have known better. And, as so many other folks on this site have pointed out, Bob's other children have cut off all contact with him. Regardless of the reason, and even if you hate your parent's new spouse/children, cutting off contact with a parent is a huge decision. I hate to speak ill of the dead, but Bob was no saint.
, shake his head and live with it.
