Was Chris an accident?

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The Joker said:
CatParty said:
The Joker said:
I don't think so. Chris said that they had not slept tpgether in twenty years or something like that. They just stayed together for their adult autistic child.
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Don't forget that period of separation when bob live in a different city so Chris could go to a different school and barb stayed at Branchland.
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Was Chris just too dense to notice what was going on?
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Yes. In high school he said he wanted his parents to have another child just so he could be a big brother, and especially wanted a younger brother. Chris was an accident, didn't realize it, and didn't realize they didn't divorce just so they wouldn't stress out their special snowflake. Bob even got out of the house every day just to get away from Barb before his health declined, even if he was just going over to their little garden and greenhouse.
 
Anchuent Christory said:
The Joker said:
that is pretty sad actually. Makes me almost want to pity Bob at least.
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Yeah, at least Bob displayed some redeeming qualities on occasion. Barb is just terrible human being.

Unfortunately for Chris, the wrong parent died on the 6th of September 2011 :cry:
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Bob at least kept him under control. The lesser of two evils.
While he should have been living out the end of his life surrounded by his family (if Barb and Chris can be considered that) he instead was in a garbage dump covered in bug bites and in pain, all while dealing with his tomgirl son bawling about trolls.
 
I can see Barb intentionally getting herself pregnant, in order to secure Bob (and his pension). That's day-one Trashbag Whore 101 material.

I can also see Barb - and I don't think it's beyond Bob's character to consider - having a child so late in life, so they could have someone to take care of them in their twilight years. The already were, and/or in the process of being, estranged from the rest of their families. Another kid could have been their last hope, and fate saw fit to give them Chris.
 
Kosher Dill said:
calicojack said:
I think the real question is, was Cole Smithy an accident?
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Who knows? What with all those scurrilous scoundrels slouching in and out of Barb's life, the father could be anyone.
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cole's real father was either too smart or not too old enough to run away from barb's "pregnancy scam"
 
Chris is the First Impact of Lol-cows, his failure spiled all over the world creating new Lol-cows organisms, maybe in the distant future we’ll have a Second Impact were scientists will try to combine human DNA with CWC’s navy, awakening the dormant manbaby and causing a world wide catastrophe.
 
calicojack said:
I think the real question is, was Cole Smithy an accident? Probably not since he's coined as "The Worlds Smartest Film Critic".
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It's amazing how Barb managed to spawn offspring with such incredibly misplaced ego's.

It's also amazing how Cole manages to be infinitely more punch-able than Chris.
 
hal9000 said:
Chris is the First Impact of Lol-cows, his failure spiled all over the world creating new Lol-cows organisms, maybe in the distant future we’ll have a Second Impact were scientists will try to combine human DNA with CWC’s navy, awakening the dormant manbaby and causing a world wide catastrophe.
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Careful, this forum considers such talk to be, "A-Logging."
 
Also, let's not jump to conclusions about Barb's intentions. Barb definitely isn't winning any Mother Of The Year awards, but we don't know much about her besides the influence she's had on Chris. Maybe Bob and Barb wanted the child for whatever reason. Maybe they didn't (more likely). We can speculate from the situation and what we know, but some objectiveness should be retained. As seen with Chris (before Marvin and Alec cleared some things up) assumptions about him become memetic to the point where everyone's saying it down the line.

Besides, accusing Barb (for her many, many flaws) of being a trashbag whore who purposefully entraps men with pregnancy is just a little bit in bad taste, I would say. If we ever get confirmation that she did, then that's that. The Barb of today is abusive, lazy and a bad influence on Chris, but for now the Barb of over thirty years ago is more mystery than not. I'm just advising this in the spirit of faithful discussion.

Carry on.
 
Niachu said:
Barb definitely isn't winning any Mother Of The Year awards, but we don't know much about her besides the influence she's had on Chris.
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she does have the one from 2001
 
Bob and Barb married in 1980. Chris wasn't born until February of 82, so Chris was conceived around May of 81.

They were married 5 to 17 months before Barb tripped on Bob's ax handle, so she couldn't have "trapped" him.

So for whatever reasons they married, it involved mutual feelings; not because Bob felt obligated.
 
BALLZ-BROKEN said:
Bob and Barb married in 1980. Chris wasn't born until February of 82, so Chris was conceived around May of 81.

They were married 5 to 17 months before Barb tripped on Bob's ax handle, so she couldn't have "trapped" him.

So for whatever reasons they married, it involved mutual feelings; not because Bob felt obligated.
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Those 5 to 17 months were very likely a whiskey haze for the both of 'em, which, to their credit, just isn't how gold-digging Jezebels operate.
 
Marriage absolutely does not secure longevity in relationships. We've intelligence suggesting Barb met a 50-year old Bob while they were both sloshed at a bar, and had to throw herself at him. He'd already been estranged by his family, and described as an abusive cur. Based on this, I'm going to stick to my assumption their relationship was not idyllic Disney fairly tale materiel. Without a security plan, the only thing I can see keeping them together for any period of time is that misery loves company. They further defined their character - or lack thereof - in this period, through how they left their special needs child alone with some kid for hours, so they could go drinking.

Throughout documented Christory, the entire clan has proven time and again that whenever folks assume the worst, we're usually underestimating how much worse the truth is. I'm not even trying to be an asshole here... As sincerely as I possibly can be; nothing in their known history compels me to give Bob, Barb, or Chris any benefit of the doubt.

Henry Bemis said:
BALLZ-BROKEN said:
Bob and Barb married in 1980. Chris wasn't born until February of 82, so Chris was conceived around May of 81.

They were married 5 to 17 months before Barb tripped on Bob's ax handle, so she couldn't have "trapped" him.

So for whatever reasons they married, it involved mutual feelings; not because Bob felt obligated.
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Those 5 to 17 months were very likely a whiskey haze for the both of 'em, which, to their credit, just isn't how gold-digging Jezebels operate.
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Are you kidding? You ride the gravy train for all its worth. When you've overstayed your welcome, and you don't have a better future prospect, you do whatever it takes to sink your claws into him. Am I seriously the only one who paid attention in class?

I'm not doxing myself... Just take my word for it, I'm an expert in the subject of gold-digging. Many of you would be surprised to learn just how many of us were one or more of our parents' "insurance plans" in some way, shape, or form.
 
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