Was Chris' dry-up inevitable?

[A-№1]

I'm not entirely sure Chris believes in other people at all. From his treatment of other field agents, and McDonald's employees, it's really as if everyone else on Earth is merely a pokayman for Chris to encounter.

I wouldn't go so far as to call them pokemon, but I think he definitely thinks of every other person on the planet as characters in The Chris Show. Some are main characters, some are occasional guest stars, some are villains, and a lot are uncredited extras, but all of them only exist to him in how they relate to him. I don't know if Chris can conceive of a universe that isn't Chris-centric.

I'm not suggesting Chris be trolled, but if someone were so inclined, what would be the chances of this?

There are ways of doing it, but the results would not be worth the effort. Chris is at his best when he does weird, random shit all on his own, but you can't control that sort of thing. Do we really need more videos of Chris whining and complaining, because that's what you'd get from poking him at most.

Yeah, heh, the issue wasn't whether Chris had a bedroom. He had a bedroom at 14BC, Barb just didn't let him sleep in it.

I thought people were asking about the house State Farm is renting for them. We all know about Chris' sleeping situation at 14BLC, but people were wondering if that was continuing at the rental, and if it was would State Farm have bothered renting a bedroom and bed for him. Well State Farm is renting a room with a bed for him, but just like at 14BLC it's probable Chris isn't using it for sleeping.

Like with Anna, Anna gets a message from Chris maybe a few times a year. Shit, at that level of activity, she could just ignore him. Or write up a five minute asspatty response. Either or, it's not a big impact on her life.

I would not be at all surprised if Anna has a file of prepared stock responses for Chris. It would explain a lot of her correspondence with him.

Watching Chris react to disasters that are unequivocally NOT caused by trolls is always fascinating, because he just doesn't know HOW to react when he can't blame someone else.

He would find someone to blame almost immediately, especially if the obvious culprit is himself. I think he still blames Kuerig for burning down 14BLC. In the most extreme cases he will blame God if there isn't a better target available, but Chris will find someone to blame.

Sadly, only the house did.

Where do bulldozers fit into that equation?

 

[Backwards Harvester]

I've been thinking about this recently; I'll lean towards yes, because as the saying goes, "All good things must come to an end." Phenomena such as Chris tend to come and go, I guess (even though we still discuss him to death). However, I somewhat expected the golden age of trolling to go on a little longer. Bob's death pretty much ended all that.

Indeed, the Lumberjack's death played a big part. But the Game Place incident could have been a factor contributing to OPL's cowering away from the internet

Yeah dry ups are inevitable for everyone really because even someone as dumb as Chris can learn after awhile. But I think without Bob's death its likely that we could have gotten much more content out of him.

What has he learned, may I ask, aside from shying away from the internet? Please, do tell.

 

[Daario Naharis]

What has he learned, may I ask, aside from shying away from the internet? Please, do tell.

That random people who claim to want to be his sweet heart may just be guys/trolls?

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I wouldn't go so far as to call them pokemon, but I think he definitely thinks of every other person on the planet as characters in The Chris Show. Some are main characters, some are occasional guest stars, some are villains, and a lot are uncredited extras, but all of them only exist to him in how they relate to him. I don't know if Chris can conceive of a universe that isn't Chris-centric.

Chris views his life like a video game, everyone else is just DLC.

I would not be at all surprised if Anna has a file of prepared stock responses for Chris. It would explain a lot of her correspondence with him.

She probably uses a Mass Effect-like conversation wheel with him.

 

[Mondo Zappa]

She probably uses a Mass Effect-like conversation wheel with him.

"Hello dere, Anna how... how're you this fin- today?"

• [SAY NOTHING]
• "Ugh... Hi Chris,"
• "Oh. You again."
• "What can you tell me about the Reapers?"
• [PAT ASS]
• "I should go."

 

[Marvin]

I thought people were asking about the house State Farm is renting for them. We all know about Chris' sleeping situation at 14BLC, but people were wondering if that was continuing at the rental, and if it was would State Farm have bothered renting a bedroom and bed for him. Well State Farm is renting a room with a bed for him, but just like at 14BLC it's probable Chris isn't using it for sleeping.

Oh yeah, I understood that. Like, I just took it as a given that State Farm rented a house with a bedroom for each inhabitant. Maybe they might not give a pair of spouses separate bedrooms.

With that assumption, I was just saying that whether Chris had his own bedroom or not wasn't what motivated Barb to force him to sleep with her, it was just that she always had to have him on hand. So, it'll depend on if they're on the same floor or not. Or how easily she can yank his chain and get him to come to her.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

I dunno whats with Marvin needing to point out they stopped trolling Chris when Bob died, when the reality is that Chris had really been drying up on a regular basis since the Wallflower incident.

Let me tell you something, he was genuinely upset and this was the first time his trolled life had gotten in the way of his real friendships. None of us actually know what could have been if the trolls didn't interfere with the Wallflower. All his threats to remain off the internet that Spring were true and honest. He only came back when prodded and when he wanted to bitch about the Cleveland Show.

But on the flip side, I want to point out something concurrent that was happening on the internet, the destruction of the CWCipedia. Post-Wallflower, Chris seemed to have a little interest in continuing Sonichu, as in one of the Post-Wallflower videos (the Abstinence one) he mentions "Updates are to come on the CWCipedia."

However, thanks to that fucking Mao's scheme to constantly vandalize the CWCipedia, Chris just gave up because it was the easy way out. Again, we don't know what could have been if CWCipedia was just left alone.

And honestly, Jackie and Thorg did not live up to the likes of Ivy and Liquid and Asperchu.

Point is, Post-Wallflower, none of the content was continuous enough, and when it was, it was clearly all scripted.

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

Chris views his life like a video game, everyone else is just DLC.


She probably uses a Mass Effect-like conversation wheel with him.

While Chris' dialog tree is from New Vegas:

[Speech 6/35] Wait... what?
[Charisma 1/6] Mmmm... Yeah...
[Explosives 12/60] *Shit pants and do nothing*

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

"Hello dere, Anna how... how're you this fin- today?"

• [SAY NOTHING]
• "Ugh... Hi Chris,"
• "Oh. You again."
• "What can you tell me about the Reapers?"
• [PAT ASS]
• "I should go."

Goddamn, now I can't unsee Chris as an Elcor. The only difference is that the emotive statement comes at the end.

I am very sorry for EVERYTHING! Please, Either be my Friend FOR REAL In Person, or Please, Please, Please Shut the hell up EVERYWHERE ONLINE and OFFLINE and Leave Me Alone. —

feeling sad, distressed and upset.

"Much-upuh---much put-upon stress sigh: well, that's your din--dang opinion."

 

[Lefty's Revenge]

What has he learned, may I ask, aside from shying away from the internet? Please, do tell.

For a lolcow, especially one as dense as Chris, learning to shy away from the internet is a big step. Hes also learned that he shouldn't be so trusting of people online. Those two things combined with the inner circles decision to not troll him anymore are basically why apart from the housefire we've had very little content from Chris for years.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

For a lolcow, especially one as dense as Chris, learning to shy away from the internet is a big step. Hes also learned that he shouldn't be so trusting of people online. Those two things combined with the inner circles decision to not troll him anymore are basically why apart from the housefire we've had very little content from Chris for years.

I think Chris' "learning" to minimize his online presence is akin to putting a shock collar on a dog---once it gets zapped enough times, it "learns" not to leave the yard.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

I'm content with passive-aggressive Facebook statuses, really, but I always get really antsy when he vanishes for a while.

But rest assured (or "rest-assured," as he would say), Chris will still continue to be Chris---that Imgur dump was pretty amazing. . .& it was leaked by Chris himself. We'll never have our medallion-wearing "Classic Chris" again, but he still manages to come out with something entertaining every now & again whenever life "trolls" him. Even if it's something small.

As one forumer said, you can take the cow out of the lol, but you can never take the lol out of the cow.

 

[A-№1]

With that assumption, I was just saying that whether Chris had his own bedroom or not wasn't what motivated Barb to force him to sleep with her, it was just that she always had to have him on hand. So, it'll depend on if they're on the same floor or not. Or how easily she can yank his chain and get him to come to her.

Unless I'm greatly mistaken about the floorplan of their rental house, Chris' bedroom is upstairs, and so is Barb's, technically. I don't see Barb climbing a whole staircase every night to go to sleep, though. I'm guessing she and Chris nest in the downstairs front room (which also explains the sheets blocking the windows).

 

[homerbeoulve]

It's the inevitable CWC El Nino. We haven't got any juicy content in like what, almost 2 months? No activity whatsoever?

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Hes also learned that he shouldn't be so trusting of people online.

That's ridiculous. The internet is full of pretty sweethearts-to-be.

 

[garbageraider]

No doubt he is still something of a local celebrity. After all, a greasy, overweight crossdresser is going to inspire conversation, especially when he does something stupid like attempting to shoplift

He really doesn't stick out much in Ruckersville, due to the pervasive inbred rednecks and white trash that fill local businesses. Chris, dressed like a crazy homeless tomgirl, blends in. Also, as Marvin has said before, Chris is a huge pussy. When he goes out, he's usually very quiet, and wary of strangers, paranoid of the trolls. Sure, every now and then he'll act out, like his vandalism at Walmart, but for 99% of the time, he's not noticeable at all unless you recognize him.

 

[Broseph Stalin]

It was going to happen eventually. It'd be a miracle if he came back in full force, but given his paranoid stance and living in constant fear of the trolls, I wouldn't hold my breath for his return. But if there was a troll posing as a sweetheart that could bring Chris out from the shadows, that bastard/bitch would go down as a fucking Internet Legend.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Does anyone actually want a return to his random online insanity? There's frankly very little he could do that wouldn't just be variations on what he's already done. He isn't exactly a renaissance man. He can talk about a handful of things. What I find far, far more interesting is what he gets up to entirely on his own, without internet influences, without people pulling the strings, and without anyone else to blame but himself. Finding out how he got banned from Walmart was better than anything that people feeding him lines ever achieved.

He's going to get himself jailed left to his own devices. I've said it in the past, I think that he was kept out of a lot of trouble in his twenties because of the amount of time he spent online living in the fantasy world of Clyde Cash, Pickle People, and Innernetsweethearts.

 

[A-№1]

I've said it in the past, I think that he was kept out of a lot of trouble in his twenties because of the amount of time he spent online living in the fantasy world of Clyde Cash, Pickle People, and Innernetsweethearts.

To say nothing of all the nigerian princes and other scams the trolls have inoculated him against through developing his paranoia.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Does anyone actually want a return to his random online insanity? There's frankly very little he could do that wouldn't just be variations on what he's already done. He isn't exactly a renaissance man. He can talk about a handful of things. What I find far, far more interesting is what he gets up to entirely on his own, without internet influences, without people pulling the strings, and without anyone else to blame but himself. Finding out how he got banned from Walmart was better than anything that people feeding him lines ever achieved.

I would. Was it always interesting? No. But a lot of it was Chris being Chris and the idiocy there is always amusing.