I gained a ton of weight over the past two years, mostly loaded into the past year. It's not that I'm heavier than ever, it's more that I just regained a bunch of weight I lost long ago. I've been feeling more distressed about it lately because for the first time in a long time I actually feel so loaded down that it feels like it's impacting me. It could be other things too. In this past Spring I fell apart, and it got much better at the start of Fall but the feelings come back. Just not as all-pervading as it was. I don't know why it's come back, other than maybe that I've gotten so settled in to my promotion that now things are genuinely much better, but they're not perfect of course, there's still big flaws of this life. Then throw in what I'm pretty sure is another round of COVID that hit me at the start of Fall, and has now hit again, I feel physically sick all the time and it feels like all of the different factors are reinforcing each other. I go to work for just a few hours (what I do only requires me to be at the workplace a few hours, and it's not physical), and I come back and feel drained. And I'll often drink some alcohol, like a bottle of white wine or a pint-and-a-half of beer. Of course that's a lot of extra drinks to add calories, and it's not good but I do obey the limitations to not go over two drinks per day (monthly average), nor binge drink. I think it's still taking something out of me, though.
I used to go on walks, but the landlord allowed the path to get completely overgrown and at this time of year every monster spider in this subtropical shithole swamp called Dixie comes out to fill the woods with webs, it's too hilly to be enjoyable bicycling, it's a pain in the ass to kayak and I've grown bored of it.