Weird and Cringe things you've seen while working in IT - Since everyone is too lazy to make such a thread where IT bros can vent

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The Last Stand said:
This is cliche, but of all the things that annoy me with background noise (children crying/playing, muffling, loud televisions, people talking in the background), the chirping smoke detector drives me up the wall. When I hear it, I cannot unhear it, even when I'm not around it.
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There's this one deli I pick up from when i do Uber Eats deliveries that ALWAYS has the chirp. It's entirely run by spanish women... don't know if that's a factor.
 
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HahaYes said:
When they get breached they are so absolutely fucked it's unreal, that's a massive risk of insider threat as well. All it'll take is one pissed off employee and a badly configured backup schedule, impact for days
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Don't worry, we solved the rogue employee problem. Just higher the biggest idiots and basket cases (our politicians have many friends like that) who can't get a job anywhere else, let them do the bare minimum, and they wouldn't leave that job if the building was on fire.
 
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The difference between Indian managers and anyone else is night and day. You have a team managed by a competent bearded white guy former developer with some social skills, and working under him is so well-oiled. He (rightly, in my opinion) sees his job as filtering requests from the wider organization, fending off the more ridiculous ones, and properly involving himself in scoping the better ones. He also wants to make sure you do as little stupid paperwork as possible. Let you work, leave you alone, keep an eye on you in case something's going south. Excellent.

Then you get an Indian manager, and it's all upside-down. YOUR job is to make MY metrics look good so I get a promotion next year taking credit for your successes. I need you to write your own tickets and put them through the process so my senior managers see the beans being counted. An insane request from above? Yes of course my underlings can do it. Now all of you hurry up and figure it out, I can't be bothered to know what it is you're working on. I'm going on vacation next week, I need you to make a presentation for me.
 
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This is really minor but I just started a new job, going from Tier 3 help desk to Tier 1 and despite knowing how to image pcs, and having done it at this job 10 times, my team lead wants me to image my own PC to use like I'm a fucking viking who needs to forge his own battle-axe. Its easy but tedious (4+ hours) and also retarded. They have like 20 PCs sitting on a rack but I have to forge my own because every true warrior images their own PC apparently. They also issued me a ticket (3 day SLA) and expect me to do it without a PC which is retarded.
 
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666FUCKEDUPMETHADDICT666 said:
This is really minor but I just started a new job, going from Tier 3 help desk to Tier 1 and despite knowing how to image pcs, and having done it at this job 10 times, my team lead wants me to image my own PC to use like I'm a fucking viking who needs to forge his own battle-axe. Its easy but tedious (4+ hours) and also retarded. They have like 20 PCs sitting on a rack but I have to forge my own because every true warrior images their own PC apparently. They also issued me a ticket (3 day SLA) and expect me to do it without a PC which is retarded.
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It's illegal to fire someone for being an idiot so he's probably devised an anti-pajeet filter that you have to clear.
 
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I work as an IT Assistant in a Public School. We had a kid turn in a computer for diagnostics because it wouldn't charge as well as had a software issue. Fixed the port, but when we turned the laptop on to check and see what was going on with the software glitch, the kid had downloaded furry porn onto his computer and had it as his desktop background. It was the most awkward shit looking this eighth grader in the face while I told his parents why we wouldnt be giving him a new computer.
I'm not sure how admin didnt catch that before we did.
 
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fist_of_khonshu said:
I work as an IT Assistant in a Public School. We had a kid turn in a computer for diagnostics because it wouldn't charge as well as had a software issue. Fixed the port, but when we turned the laptop on to check and see what was going on with the software glitch, the kid had downloaded furry porn onto his computer and had it as his desktop background. It was the most awkward shit looking this eighth grader in the face while I told his parents why we wouldnt be giving him a new computer.
I'm not sure how admin didnt catch that before we did.
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Fucking classic shit.
I got suspended for downloading a bunch of shock images and showing them to people.
 
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Enterprise support is slowly becoming less and less rational somewhat understandable problem statements and more and more "Hello Sar, kindly check now and revert. attached logs" I've watched these morons work during remote sessions, they type 10 WPM tops, and honestly anytime they are supposed to perform some action, it's like they sit and stare at the screen trying to figure out what I want them to do. Problem isn't with what we support but another vendor? No problem sir, I call them and get them on phone too, then you can talk to them and tell them the issue.
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Huh? No, Surrinder, I will not do your job for you. You're going to have to give the same 40 IQ jeetspeak description of your problem to them, I'm hanging up.
 
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burntKale said:
Curious for people who worked as an IT support/helpdesk/something similar.

Which department usually gives the most unhinged top of the line retarded request/ticket and why?
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In my case it was pretty much department agnostic, but if I'd say the most retarded request are the ones where you get curveballs thrown at you whenever some poorly/proprietary/deprecated solution isn't working anymore.
Also departments who don't pay for support for these solutions and then maybe having jeets remote into the affected devices itself was icing on the cake.
 
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Haven't worked in IT but I was the IT Deer at home for the family (as I am a hobbyist) so whenever someone's tablet or phone or computer needed something, they'd come to me. Mostly software-related.

Do not give expensive hardware to emotionally challenged foster kids; they will go Bossman Jack on their keyboard and then wonder why their laptops don't work. Same kids would smear vaseline on their webcam (full-on cameras) and then cry to me about the image being weird.

Still had to actively remind old assholes to not click on shit in their mail inbox without reading the email address or even checking if it was in their fucking spam folder at first.

As English is not spoken here natively, I had a weird ass conversation with one foster parent because she thought she had been hacked. She had not, she just got an English scam mail that contained the word "epic". The Pic part is pronounced very closely to our slang for dick if you don't pronounce "epic" correctly.
Had to educate some assholes about that.

On a funny note, getting a call in the middle of the night from one foster kid about a scam email, saying they were caught jerking it to CP, and that Interpol will be coming for them. Love Interpol CEO.

It was fucking funny because a quick google search would tell them that Interpol President is a sand nigger, not some fucking Norwegian called Björn.

Or:
"DEER, MY PHONE BROKE. ITT'S QUIET! THERE'S NO SOUND!"
You tapped "Do Not Disturb" on accident.
"HOW DO I FIX IT?!"

????????????

In hindsight, I should have been cheeky and asked for payment.
 
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McKennai said:
In my case it was pretty much department agnostic, but if I'd say the most retarded request are the ones where you get curveballs thrown at you whenever some poorly/proprietary/deprecated solution isn't working anymore.
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Uhh let me be a smart-ass for a while, is it an in-house made SAP applications that barely fucking functions and has a shit-ton of legacy middlewares tangled up on it?
 
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burntKale said:
Uhh let me be a smart-ass for a while, is it an in-house made SAP applications that barely fucking functions and has a shit-ton of legacy middlewares tangled up on it?
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Their legacy IBM ERP was a pretty solid, which fortunately I hadn't to deal with
It being a Factory , lets just say in house and custom ordered solutions/hardware were all over the place.
 
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DenseDeerFather said:
-snip-
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I mostly gave up when trying to help some family member with computer issues. When they ask me to do something, I do it the way they dont expect it, I get berated, even though all roads leads to Rome.

If people are asking for help, dont bite the hand that feeds them.
 
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Gatdam Animal Person said:
I mostly gave up when trying to help some family member with computer issues. When they ask me to do something, I do it the way they dont expect it, I get berated, even though all roads leads to Rome.

If people are asking for help, dont bite the hand that feeds them.
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Goodness, you remind me of the time I spent half a week sitting through a family member's Facebook album because they were the type of person to take pictures and videos of everything and everyone all day, every day due to some fuckery with other people's children. So I had to sift through at least four years of pictures and selfies and baby pics and what the fuck else.

Whenever I took a break because fuck me trying to prevent my brain from leaking out of my ears, I'd get berated because "Hurp durp, aren't you done yet?"

Do it yourself then, you cunt.

The whole thing was so fucking stupid because deleting photos from fucking Facebook is easy as piss. They fucking saw me do it.
 
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