Weird and Cringe things you've seen while working in IT - Since everyone is too lazy to make such a thread where IT bros can vent

[Kheapathic]

Somehow, this shitshow of a tard farm company has been on Business in Canada's top ten list of Best-Managed Canadian Companies for over a decade.

Is it CGI? You don't have to tell me, but I did time with CGI Federal (US sub company to do things for the US Government, like the Obamacare website). I'm out in a remote site, while there are others, per the company, there's only 3 of us, and I'm the tech guy who's supposed to keep shit running. One day the Internet goes down, it's through a puck via Verizon. I go to troubleshoot, and get a splash page telling me to pay the fucking Internet Bill. Call my boss, who's all the way across the country, fucking 6 months go by before we get Internet back, and all it was, was someone wouldn't pay the fucking bill.

 

[The Last Stand]

This one call I've received has the customer uses a live AI interpretor to speak for them. Okay, fine. The customer loves to pull the disability/queer card, now they have the AI speak on their behalf to lecture me on whatever social issue of the day in a persistent, condescending voice when THEY called for help.

I'll be damned if I let a COMPUTER tell me off because some dick wants to be self-absorbed.

 

[Nice Stick]

This one call I've received has the customer uses a live AI interpretor to speak for them. Okay, fine. The customer loves to pull the disability/queer card, now they have the AI speak on their behalf to lecture me on whatever social issue of the day in a persistent, condescending voice when THEY called for help.

I'll be damned if I let a COMPUTER tell me off because some dick wants to be self-absorbed.

"Hi, I think your AI interpreter is broken. It keeps says that you're a degenerate, attention seeking faggot."

 

[SouthernBitchBob]

"Make sure you update your Jira tickets and provide information on your tasks".

I did. Yesterday. The thing is, I'm not terribly proactive with doing so because you clearly don't read them. This is a central issue with Indian management: they are in no way proactive. They never have any clue what's going on under them. Then they fire off orders when prodded by their supervisors. The image of a manager yelling at a factory floor to "keep working" while they're working. There is no relationship between what's actually going on and what they order you to do. Never hire an Indian. Ever. This is what it leads to.

 

[SouthernBitchBob]

I hate my one-on-ones. I swear my manager is having a different conversation with an imaginary person every week.
Me: I'm working on changing our authentication for X, ran into a snag where the new auth service seems to have an expectation that the old one didn't as far as scope requests. I'm talking to the auth team to get that cleared up. At least the error message is pretty clear.
Him: Oh good! So how is your work on changing the auth going?
Me: .........It works in the happy path, but is hitting an error when an automated service hits it.
Him: Is there an error message it gives back?
Me: *more confused* ...Yes. Let me read it to you.
Him: Okay, just make sure you're talking to the auth team to get that cleared up.

Were you...on this plane of existence for the first part of that conversation?

 

[Samuel Fuller]

I hate my one-on-ones. I swear my manager is having a different conversation with an imaginary person every week.
Me: I'm working on changing our authentication for X, ran into a snag where the new auth service seems to have an expectation that the old one didn't as far as scope requests. I'm talking to the auth team to get that cleared up. At least the error message is pretty clear.
Him: Oh good! So how is your work on changing the auth going?
Me: .........It works in the happy path, but is hitting an error when an automated service hits it.
Him: Is there an error message it gives back?
Me: *more confused* ...Yes. Let me read it to you.
Him: Okay, just make sure you're talking to the auth team to get that cleared up.

Were you...on this plane of existence for the first part of that conversation?

Sounds like you have a jeet manager.

 

[Jang Joo]

I hate my one-on-ones. I swear my manager is having a different conversation with an imaginary person every week.
Me: I'm working on changing our authentication for X, ran into a snag where the new auth service seems to have an expectation that the old one didn't as far as scope requests. I'm talking to the auth team to get that cleared up. At least the error message is pretty clear.
Him: Oh good! So how is your work on changing the auth going?
Me: .........It works in the happy path, but is hitting an error when an automated service hits it.
Him: Is there an error message it gives back?
Me: *more confused* ...Yes. Let me read it to you.
Him: Okay, just make sure you're talking to the auth team to get that cleared up.

Were you...on this plane of existence for the first part of that conversation?

How do these people get hired to begin with

 

[Samuel Fuller]

How do these people get hired to begin with

In IT, usually Jeet nepotism if outsourced, or regular nepotism if IT is internal.

 

[jeff7989]

Working with manager pretending to know my job and trying to argue about solutions while everybody around knows he's full of shit. It feels like talking with a hallucinating LLM. I love nepo hires.

 

[cleanerfromvenus]

not IT, but related. At my old job when I was working QC at a system integrator the CEOs autistic son would "work" after hours, ie: he didn't work during office hours and would only come in to talk to the girls that worked in marketing and annoy the IT/ MES guys. He was chinese, like 6'2" about 340lbs and had an incredibly high annoying voice. He would ask every girl at the office for a hug, ever single one. He would even ask the guys for a hug but then squeeze really fucking hard. He also smelled like shit and would throw temper tantrums if he didn't get his way.

One day he pushed me in the forehead and I was so fucking mad a few days later I just resigned. I already hated my job but I had no more patience working overtime while being harassed by an actual giant retard.

 

[skunt]

Were you...on this plane of existence for the first part of that conversation?

Seems like a typical manager interaction to me. Pretend to ignore everything you say, then repeat it back to you as an order so they feel like they accomplished something.

---

I used to have to work with indians and some of the highlights were one of them sending me an xvideos link as a thank you. Another time we had a zoom call where one participant was clearly watching porn. The camera was off but yeah.

 

[Samuel Fuller]

I am dealing with some fun today because one of our clients limited the privileges of the generic admin account for their MS365 tenant and the only guy allowed to have full access is also the only one with the MFA for the generic account, and he and the client's internal IT guy are both on vacation, so I can't forward their service desk email to ours and can't run the monthly reports I need to do on the first business day of every month, which I normally just get our embedded guy there to run and send me because the generic admin account can't run reports! Fun!

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

I once had to help a boomer sign into his work email with 2 factor authentication and it was like sorcery to him. He could barely grasp such arcane concepts as “you get a text with a code thats a second password” and “open this browser to get to your email”.

This man was also a retired mechanical engineer that used to build turbines at a dam. Boomers are something else.

 

[jeff7989]

Things break in production pretty much every other week, API changes without a heads-up, things just mysteriously stop working. One of big boy corpos.

 

[SouthernBitchBob]

Things break in production pretty much every other week, API changes without a heads-up, things just mysteriously stop working. One of big boy corpos.

You know exactly the sort of practices that would prevent these things, but you don't want to get into it. The way (large ossified corpo) works is backward, and the entrenched management will get pissy and give you a thousand reasons why they "can't" work correctly, mainly because doing so would make a bunch of people who don't like working do work. So instead you get to listen, week after week, to bewildered management wonder aloud why you silly developers aren't just doing the needful and getting things to work.

 

[Nice Stick]

mainly because doing so would make a bunch of people who don't like working do work

It would also require crossing organizational boundaries, which any competent manager will avoid.