Weird Dreams Thread

[Night Owl]

I had a dream about a 1960's styled buddy cop/spy movie. The main character was a male spy disguised as a famous actress and his partner was a cop but also actually an exiled prince from a small country. Neither were aware of each other's secret. They did the usual quirky things like fighting commies in Europe and infiltrating secret super villain compounds. One of these plans being; sneaking into a country through a water tunnel, crashing the boat, wait for the guards to come inspect their dead bodies and then fight the guards anyway because sure, why not. Then you had the comedy bits with the spy guy beating off other men with a stick, including the cop/prince character, though he genuinely seems to fall for "her" eventually.

Scenes of random fake movies tend to be around a half of my dreams, though I've on occasion tried to search for the movie/TV show just to see if it actually exists or not (most of them don't, of course.)

 

[Dufe]

I was in a relationship with a smoking hot asian girl. With horrifying backne.

 

[Francesco Dellamorte]

There was a marten at an amusement park who'd take you to the front of the bungee jumping line if you bribed him with a snack.

 

[Dilf Department]

I usually don't have dreams, they only appear when I sleep in the wrong position, but ok, today I had the most weird ass dream, i'm going to use 4chan's green text format because autism

>the dream starts on the first page of kiwifarms, I look at the presented content tab
>there's a link with a name ''I'm fucking a student girl''
>my dream self decides to click on this weird link
>the link redirects to a stream, a man, which i assume is null was having sex with a pretty girl
>they were in the most disgusting bathroom, the girl had her hands submerged in a giant toilet, inside the toilet there was water full of piss
>I don't remember the rest, but then the sex ends and there are 2 other girls, a child and a woman
>still in the bathroom, null films them and says something I don't understand
>at the end, null gives a small laugh and the dream ends
>I wake up trying to understand the shit my brain made me experience while I slept
>I decide to write this shit on the weird dreams thread, still trying to understand what I experienced

 

[Meat Target]

I usually don't have dreams, they only appear when I sleep in the wrong position, but ok, today I had the most weird ass dream, i'm going to use 4chan's green text format because autism

>the dream starts on the first page of kiwifarms, I look at the presented content tab
>there's a link with a name ''I'm fucking a student girl''
>my dream self decides to click on this weird link
>the link redirects to a stream, a man, which i assume is null was having sex with a pretty girl
>they were in the most disgusting bathroom, the girl had her hands submerged in a giant toilet, inside the toilet there was water full of piss
>I don't remember the rest, but then the sex ends and there are 2 other girls, a child and a woman
>still in the bathroom, null films them and says something I don't understand
>at the end, null gives a small laugh and the dream ends
>I wake up trying to understand the shit my brain made me experience while I slept
>I decide to write this shit on the weird dreams thread, still trying to understand what I experienced

I've had dreams where Kiwis all get doxxed. In my case, it was because I did something to piss off Null.

 

[drfuzzyballs]

In a DPH and alcohol fueled dream Shaggy2Dope stole my car and my pants, which contained my wallet and phone.

 

[AnOminous]

I've had a fun recurring one recently, involving most of the human race being killed, and I'm one of the few survivors, and we're desperately trying to avoid being killed by bizarre yellow robots. They can change form to move on rails, just move around normally, or smash buildings by standing up straight.

They're about 200 feet tall when they do stand up straight, and in that form, they just smash the entire building you're in.

Despite that, they're super weak to just getting hit with stuff, so if you gather a mob together, and just grab random objects, and hit them with it, you win.

Fuck you, yellow robots.

 

[Revo]

I had a dream involving Chantal (not a sex dream). Me and two other Kiwi Farms users- they were a collection of user identities- visited where Chantal lived. In the dream, it was a hotel based in New York but I haven't been so it looked like Paris. Her friends were Williamsburg style but in that Bohemian way you imagine Hemingway to have lived like (or Withnail). We kept "pranking" her by buying food and placing it on her doorstep whilst we ate popcorn (it being on my mind since I watched IT Crowd a few days ago) and watched from a distance laughing. You get, she's fat. At some point one of the Kiwi Farms user bought her a cookie, but rather than be offending, she took it as a nice gesture as that style of cookie was rare and she hadn't had it in years. In fact, she screamed excitement if I recall rightly. This is when my gaze focused on that Kiwi Farms user and the realisation he was a gay furry (a yellow lion). Rather than simply documenting Chantal, he wanted to be her friend and the cookie was a gesture of goodwill in hopes of joining her clique. I ran away in fear and eventually woke up after falling into another nightmare.

 

[Preferred Penne]

This one's a few weeks old, but I still remember it.

I was swimming in a very large public pool, about the size of a small lake, and I see this very cute redhead girl in a yellow bikini waving over to me. Then I realize I'm wearing a fuzzy bathrobe and the lifeguard tells me I can't wear it in the pool, so I get out and take off the robe. When I turn around to look for the girl, there's this massive space station looming over the horizon, charging its laser weapon. Everyone looks on in horror as I say "Oh my God, it's actually happening! It's real!"

The laser fires, creating a massive explosion, and a wall of flame rushes towards us.

 

[Michael_Jordan_Peterson]

I had a dream where I was in a foreign country anx trying to coordinate the logistics of the flight out. Rental car, travel mates, getting there on time. It was damn stressful. But there was some random chick there and we were getting it on a lot so it was kinda cool

 

[The Lawgiver]

A few days back up to now I had a lot of weirdly realistic yet out there types of dreams. the ones with coherent narratives that kinda softly pull you into the out there concept type shit that keeps your subconscious suspension of disbelief from turning it lucid. I've forgotten the plots of most of them save for the first one which eventually shifted to a "trapped in a simulation like the matrix or spykids 3d but without any cool powers" shit. The dude in charge of the thing would like fuck with the people trapped in the simulation by doing fucked up shit like altering their "avatar" bodies forcefully and when that shit happened to me I could actually feel the bone hurt type stuff. Being forcefully stretched to ghoul ass height, shrunk to manlet height, the works. it always happened at the worst possible opportunities. Because it was a digital simulation and not reality my ass didn't go " oh I'm having a dream!" I was kinda like "get em the fuck out of this nightmare hellhole so I can kick the dude behind it's ass". At one point I literally got temporarily physically shifted and crunched into a weirdly specific anime character. Wasn't goku but some other poor bastard got the goku treatment. No powers or anything he just looked like a fucking animation cel/stock art goku pasted into real life. Felt like one of those drip goku shitposts looking at the guy. Goku wouldve technically been better than what I got when that shit happened to me. My sorry ass ended up with fucking Uzaki chan. Identity politics obsessed types on social media or dream analyst hacks would probably have a field day taking some greater meaning from that since dreams are just hyper-real feeling simulations cooked up by your subconscious. Can't remember if the dream ended before I got out of the simulation and kicked the guy behind it's ass or not, but that fake brain-simulated guy still deserves a good ass kicking. If i have another dream like that and he's in it my suspension of disbelief will 100% go off and I'll lucid dream demolish him.

There was also an unrelated dream that was a bit more recent than that one I forgot all the plot of other than one moment where JK simmons was sitting in an office chair being licked by some freak and looking incredibly uncomfortable about it.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

The weirdest of my recent dreams saw my former boss showing up at my home office. When I said something to the effect of, "Shouldn't you be dead?" she replied with a variation of, "Rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated," and expressed her desire to work with me again. I told her that I had assumed ownership over most of her old business under a new name, but that didn't seem to bother her and she started to look around for something to work on like it was no big deal. Meanwhile, I wondered what I was going to tell people about this, especially the clients.

If that wasn't weird enough, another older woman appeared seemingly out of nowhere. She claims she worked for the boss about 20-30 years ago and was wrongfully fired. Even though the statute of limitations for any legal action likely expired long ago, she insists she won't make an issue out of her dismissal if the boss hires her back in my place. As the two of them bicker, I'm off to the side thinking, "This is my business now and I'm not going anywhere."

 

[Preferred Penne]

I used to work in this family-owned restaurant that closed years ago and I still have recurring dreams about it. They usually have roughly the same format: the place is reopened for "one night only" and the reopening is so successful that it becomes permanent. I'm always the only one working and getting overwhelmed, to the point where if someone asks for a glass of water, I can't find the glasses, or the ice, or even the water.

Then I wake up and thank God that I'm not there anymore.

 

[AnOminous]

All my jerb-related dreams seem to involve the one I actually liked, when I just touched computers and turned things that weren't working into things that worked. I thought this sucked at the time, especially the part that involved dealing with humans, but my dreams tell me I miss this time.

 

[A Beached Whale]

Fell asleep reading Chantal's thread and had the weirdest dream that Mr. Whale and I got stranded at her gross shitheap of a home.

She kept hitting on him and if course he was nauseated so when we finally got out, she raged on live stream about only 'retarded fags' say no to her smokin hawt balding self.

 

[Picklechu]

Had one of those dreams that keeps changing premise ad nauseum despite being a single dream. I only remember the last part, in which the witches from Hocus Pocus came back to life, were now immune to sunlight, and needed to drain the life force of a good witch, who had no idea that she was a witch, they referred to as "the Golden Crinkle." They were scooting themselves around in wooden wheelbarrows, until they realized that the woman they were talking to was the one they were looking for. They hopped out and went in the ground like alligators in the water, with their eyes poking out, and "swam" towards her. They then summoned a big loaf of bread that acted like a tentacle and came out of the ground to grab her. After that, it was a lot of running and screaming until all of the various characters got to an abandoned warehouse/office building, then I woke up.

 

[Baby Jane Hudson]

I used to work in this family-owned restaurant that closed years ago and I still have recurring dreams about it. They usually have roughly the same format: the place is reopened for "one night only" and the reopening is so successful that it becomes permanent. I'm always the only one working and getting overwhelmed, to the point where if someone asks for a glass of water, I can't find the glasses, or the ice, or even the water.

Then I wake up and thank God that I'm not there anymore.

I keep having recurring dreams about a house we used to live in. We lived there for 10 years before we moved into our apartment (it was my Mother's house and she had to sell it after my father died and so she moved into my apartment with my husband and me). Anyway, I dream about being back there often. Sometimes it's my husband and me living there, sometimes it's just my parents and me.

I guess dreaming about it makes me some times regret not buying it from my Mom, but my husband and I didn't want the hassle of taking care of it (it needed a bit of work-new roof, new electrical, updating). I'm happy in our apartment, we don't have to mow the grass, shovel snow, when an appliance breaks down they replace it and if we have a maintenance issue we just call the office and they send someone over to fix it. But I do miss the feeling of the house, when my parents were there.

 

[AnOminous]

I have lots of dreams about a house I used to live in. It was one of the favorite places I've ever lived, even if the events that happened there weren't. My landlord there was such a great guy he was actually a friend. My life there ended in such a bad way that most of my dreams about it are boarding up the windows for an impending zombie invasion, or whatever.

I recently had a dream with Terry Davis in it. I met him in an old style movie theatre with the seats cramped close together and he seemed uncomfortable. I sat down next to him, well, sort of next, I left a seat between us, if you remember those seats, and put something in the seat between to discourage anyone trying to sit down there.

We had a conversation, and obviously, I can't remember it, because would God allow his secrets out? But it made perfect sense at the time. The only thing I remember is at the very end, when he said "the truth can be terrifying." And then he started twitching and looked like he was going into a seizure.

I tried to call for help but he just vanished out of existence at that moment.

And then I went and ate a couple doughnuts. Why are dreams so stupid?

 

[Cow-Chan]

I used to have these weird recurring dreams where I was chased around a jungle gym in the middle of the night by Grey aliens, it was super weird and I still to this day have a primal fear of Greys.

I also used to have this other recurring dream where I would go to school, and it would be one of those embarrassing "You forgot your pants!" dreams, but with a twist. At some point in the dream, I would fall on my butt and start sliding, and I'd start picking up speed, sliding through the halls of the school until I flew out the front door, and then I'd continue down the road and then into town, sliding faster and faster like I was on some fucked up water slide. I'd eventually hit something at terminal velocity like a building and wake up abruptly.

 

[Lathe]

When I was younger, I used to have short dreams about future events. I still do sometimes. People have said it’s deja vu but I can clearly remember them when waking up and when they happen I get the context for what it meant.