I'd love to work harder, but I need to get hired somewhere first. Full Disclosure:
I live in Astoria Oregon at the moment and I'm lucky to get an interview due to my nearly six years of being unemployed and on disability. I previously lived in Huntsville Alabama and worked my ass off for 15 years starting the summer after my sophomore year in high school. I covered for all the cool kids while they went out partying and getting laid. I went to college and burned out after 2 years because I had to work at my jobs so much. I ended up working in electronics manufacturing from 1997-2000, most of that time on perpetual 12 hour shifts 7 days a week until Y2K passed. I had another short stint at college in that time. Class at 8 AM after working till 3:30 AM. Then the company had major cutbacks and got rid of tuition reimbursement. I joined the Navy in 2000 despite having battled mental illness the entire time prior. By the grace of God I passed Basic Training and finished Basic Submarine school in the top 10% of my class. It didn't last and I ended up discharged with a personality disorder just before VA benefits would kick in. I had bet my entire life and all my possessions on it and lost. My father and step mother couldn't deal with me so I went back home and got a similar job to what I had before. Worked more ungodly hours at night while going to school full time during the day. I graduated with honors and a year later after a failed engagement found myself living with an abusive thieving meth addict and his semi responsible pushover roommate. I slept on the couch with a knife under my pillow and 911 on speed dial on my cellphone. The experience gave me psychosomatic partial paralysis. I could barely walk at times and there was a constant dead feeling in the right side of my head. My right eye would only partially open and now right side of my mouth permenantly drooped downward and my speech was slurred. But I still went to work every single day because it was all I had left and I was so damn good at it that my coworkers always had my back. I didn't survive the next round of layoffs and spent six months drawing a check, but I found work again.
During all of this I was uninsured since I was a temp so I was not able to get adequate mental health care. So in 2006 I had another major breakdown. I tried to keep working, but it was sporadic. The last job I had before I moved was stocking shelves at Kroger. I was supposed to get a transfer to the Fred Meyer in my new location, but I was terminated instead. That was in 2008.
My cousin convinced me to move here. Once I got here though, I was on my own. I could not get work and I was losing my mind. I found myself on the streets 2500 miles away from everything and everyone I knew. I was lucky to get put into a group home and signed up for the

.
I now live in subsidized housing.
Almost everything I own was well used and abused before it became mine.
I don't drink. I don't do drugs that were not perscribed to me and I take those as directed.
I have no ink or piercings.
I don't have a cell phone, smart or otherwise.
I have no Cable TV.
I try to avoid junk food, but have a soft spot for Mtn. Dew
I might go out to eat once a month.
I do not Gamble
My computer is a 10+ year old dumpster rescue on it's last legs
I do not own a vehicle
I do volunteer work when it comes up.
I get a little extra money helping people move, clean, or fix their computer
I am working with supported employment and signed up for vocational rehab.
I had some success selling arts and crafts at a show a few weeks ago.
I never ask for help from anyone since the whole country chips in for my $1021 a month income. I might at most ask for a smoke now and then.
While I never ask for help, I give it freely when I have the means.
So, am I doing the whole worthless mentally defective thing right?