What are some shitty things you've done? CONFESS. - Come on, none of us perfect; in fact that's why we're all here.

[Caesare]

Never done anything wrong, or never gotten caught?

What's the difference?

I'm the coworker who steals food that isn't locked up.

Ppl get murdered over this.

 

[H4nzn1]

I used a temp email instead of actual email on this website, which was possibly a dumb mistake I'm going to regret later.

 

[Dymentia]

about a year ago I faked having a crush on a guy for attention.

 

[DICKPICSRUS]

during elementary school I got picked on by a couple of black kids they kept stealing my stuff.

So one day I got up to sharpen my pencil and came back and stabbed one of them in the arm , but it was more of a poke. He cried like a little bitch
And they didn't mess with me ever again.
The End

 

[Picklepower]

When I was kid once in like 5th grade at a summer program, I accidently sharted in my pants, so I went to the bathroom and threw my underwear away and went commando for the rest of the day.

 

[MW 002]

I kicked a mini donkey once in rage when it refused to move forward when I was leading it out to pasture.

Even though it was a long time ago, I still feel guilty about it.

 

[Clownfish]

I give free beers to people who graduate alcoholic anonymous

 

[DuckSucker]

When I was a kid my friends were into phone phreaking and we used to hang out behind movie theaters and blue box and call up blockbuster or any other old ass teen-run business, and my one friend was really good at being charming, so he would get them to tell us their credit card numbers under the guise that he was a victim of identity theft and wanted to verify and update his credit card data, so he needed the old data and CVV code in order to update it or whatever. We bought some shit that way. Honestly Dynastia reminds me of the one dude.

They nearly got arrested a few times but I was the fall dude because Im an idiot, and I held their shit so when they got in trouble they didnt have any evidence on them and we were able to weasel out.

It's real fun to be holding a class b felony's worth of telecommunication devices but worm your way out because youre 15 and white and you just happened to lose your quarter and were ironically trying to dismantle the phone booth further than it already had been.

I give free beers to people who graduate alcoholic anonymous

Give me one pls.

 

[Pina Colada]

11-year-old me killed one of my pet goldfish by squeezing it because I thought it was getting too fat from the fish flakes (which it wasn't, but I was dumb). My mom didn't get any more afterwards.

 

[The Great Chandler]

Reward me for my sins!

 

[NailsOnAChalkboard]

This happened all the way back in high school but I still remember and feel terribly guilty about it.

My closest friend at the time and I had a class together that I constantly forgot to do the homework for, but that he always had ready. You were supposed to hand it in at the beginning of class and you were not able to hand it in late, leaving you with a zero in the grade book if you didn't turn anything in.

One day (the day after an assignment had been handed in) the teacher pulls me aside and shows me a piece of paper. He asks if it is my homework because there was no name on it. It was my friends. We had almost identical handwriting and were prone to doodling the same weird shapes in the margins, so there was no way for him to tell if I was lying unless my friend came forward and claimed it.

I said it was mine.

Teacher never bothered to ask him.

He took the zero and later complained to me that he had sworn he turned it in. All I could do was avoid eye contact and go "huh. Weird."

 

[Whatdidyousay?]

Used to dabble in illegal activities. Word got around that someone I knew was slagging my product off. Unlucky for him he didnt know it was my product. And I didn't like him anyway.

So I got buddy buddy with him over a few weeks. Few beers here and there. I then spiked the beer with raw sewerage from a treatment plant. Not just any sewerage tho. Concentrated sludge.

He was hospitalised. Throwing up black stuff. Feel bad about it now days. I could have given him anything.

 

[Doug_Hitzel]

I come here to feel good about myself. Also, I knowingly infect negative nellies with HIV.

 

[Morose_Obesity]

I get incredibly verbally abusive to bill collectors, shit that would give Gordon Ramsay pause

 

[AtrocityVoyeur]

I was nice to the special ed kids in elementary school (gee, I wonder why) but one of them followed me like a puppy, dashing my hopes of hanging out with anyone halfway neurotypical.

When he tried pulling this shit in front of a girl I liked, I kicked the crap out of him. I can still hear his blubbery moans all these decades later.

 

[doubledigitgendergap]

I volunteered at a marathon event and was responsible for distributing beverages to the runners.
Instead of handing the paper cups to them however, I threw them at them. They couldn't stop and complain or else they'd sacrifice their pacing/place in the race, and they went a few extra miles without a drink.

 

[tehpope]

I don't hold doors open for people.

 

[Morose_Obesity]

I give free beers to people who graduate alcoholic anonymous

I haven’t graduated aa but I’ll take anything but Pete’s wicked ale. That is pretty much skunk piss.

 

[DrJonesHat]

When I was 17, I was a goddamn menace on the road. One night, my friend was following me in his car as we drove to my house. He kept honking his horn so I turned around to see why, but kept my foot on the gas. I jumped the curb into someone's yard and took out their mailbox. I gunned it and disappeared into the night, followed by my friend. Nothing ever happened to me, and I passed off the damage on my car as someone hitting me while I was parked. The mailbox was replaced with one of those solid brick varieties so I never did that again. However, karma eventually got around to crossing me off her list, as years later, someone drove across my lawn and took out my mailbox, along with the tree next to it (small tree).

 

[cunt bucket]

I have a cunty transtrender friend who thinks she's male. She was stupid enough to give me her password once, so a month ago I hacked into her accounts and changed her gender to female, and put her full name everywhere. When she found out, she posted statuses about how she was hacked and that she was "literally shaking."

I don't regret it lmfao

EDIT: Btw, the only reason I'm friends with her is so I can take screenshots of the stupid shit she says and show it to my friend so we can laugh and make fun of her.