What are your restaurant red flags?

[Nick Gars]

When I can smell something that isn't food.


General rule of thumb, avoid buffets. I get that they seem like a good deal (well, not so much these days, $30-$40 a person on average), but I can personally attest that almost all of them do not follow health and safety standards whatsoever. ServSafe standards are the bare minimum a restaurant should be following, and most buffets don't even do that. Oh yeah, the food ain't fresh (though I doubt many of you were under that illusion), more often than not its reheated leftovers or food well past the acceptable hold date.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Making tips mandatory. I almost always tip when eating out, but if you’re requiring patrons to tip instead of it being a gratuity for excellent service, something’s wrong

A long-defunct Chinese Restaurant abruptly instituted a mandatory 18% gratuity for parties of six of more. The serve was so poor that it didn't merit any sort of tip and it felt like they were trying to get away witht he bare minimum of customer service knowing they'd still get a sizable tip. Needless to say, that resuarant was removed from our rotation list and eventually went belly up.

Having manners is important, older black ladies love that.

Have to agree from experience. Whether as business owners or business clients, older well-mannered black ladies love being treated respectfully and don't forget who treats them right.

Just to chime in, every Subway in Canada seems to be owned by Indians, too.

I think it's a toss-up with Indian-owned Subways that depends on how much pride and effort they put into making the store successful. At a former job, there was an Indian-owned Subway a mile away and the family that owned it took pride in what they did and did whatever they reasonably could for their customers - especially the regular crowd. Others care more about making money and it shows in the customer service that ranges from indifferent to shitty.

I believe I posted it in another thread, but a red flag for my dad had to do with cleanup and sanitation. As a retired food service professional who had to maintain certification in sanitation and food safety, he was rightfully grossed out when a local restaurant's busboy used the same rag to wipe both his brow and a table. He refused to patronize the place ever again even after it changed hands.

 

[Water Helen Water]

when the name and menu.
is all lower case and periods.
like this.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

I've yet to run into this, but if and when I ever do, I'm walking out or at the very least not ordering anything. If they can't be fucked to provide menus, it just shows how lazy, tech-obsessed, presumptuous, inconsiderate, cheap and hipstery they are IMO. I don't give a dead moose's last shit who it is or what service they provide, I'm not downloading an app or scanning for bullshit that they can't be be fucked not to cut corners over. God help the poor retards who tell me that I need to download an app just to do business with them, and I could see some restaurants possibly going that far. Has anyone run into restaurants that require you to download their app?

I've literally never heard of this, even in nyc where you'd expect something like this to exist. I mostly eat at unpretentious and/or ethnic places though.

 

[PandaChai]

Pictures of the food on the menu (except for Wimpy Burger, RIP)

 

[Goyslop Muncher]

Pictures of the food on the menu (except for Wimpy Burger, RIP)

I actually like pictures of dishes, but you never see it at restaurants that are more expensive than $15 a plate.

 

[A-Stump]

When I walk in and hear a violin sting

 

[A valid name]

Dirty bathrooms.

 

[Sarah Connor]

If you go into a restaurant and it's empty on a Friday night - leave.

 

[InsulindianPhasmid]

Posh restaurants that serve flavoured foam on the side of dishes. It looks like someone has spat on your dinner (which they may have done anyway but at least have the decency to hide it!)

 

[Mango Cobra]

If it has 'House of Pizza' in the name is a huge red flag. I don't mind Greek pizza, but [Town] House of Pizza is generally pretty shit.

Chinese Food places where they this certain menus hanging up. Generally they're pictures of food, but they are the same exact menu and it makes me wonder where they order them from. I'll attach an example.

I've yet to run into this, but if and when I ever do, I'm walking out or at the very least not ordering anything. If they can't be fucked to provide menus, it just shows how lazy, tech-obsessed, presumptuous, inconsiderate, cheap and hipstery they are IMO. I don't give a dead moose's last shit who it is or what service they provide, I'm not downloading an app or scanning for bullshit that they can't be be fucked not to cut corners over. God help the poor retards who tell me that I need to download an app just to do business with them, and I could see some restaurants possibly going that far. Has anyone run into restaurants that require you to download their app?

I went to a (genuine) mexican place that had replaced their menus with a QR code scanner because they were concerned that the menus could spread covid or some shit I don't know. Food was fucking amazing but my phone at the time couldn't scan QR codes for some reason so they had to bring me a menu lmao

 

[thejackal]

I've literally never heard of this, even in nyc where you'd expect something like this to exist. I mostly eat at unpretentious and/or ethnic places though.

it's everywhere around me. 90% of restaurants do the QR code now no paper menus. I totally get it, it's cleaner, less waste (thus cost) and just generally is one less thing for servers to worry about.

I'm old fashioned I prefer a paper menu but if that was the "red flag" well I wouldn't have many restaurant options.

My big red flag is just poor service right off the bat. taking forever to come seat or greet me will have me walking out.

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

You guys are fucking weird.
Here's the proper red flags:

If the wait staff isn't young and don't all have big tits, go home.

Check the bathroom. If it's a wreck go home.

Do they offer fried pickles? If not, go home.

And avoid anything that has restaurants in more than 3 states.

It's really that simple.

 

[DeadwastePrime]

You guys are fucking weird.
Here's the proper red flags:

If the wait staff isn't young and don't all have big tits, go home.

Check the bathroom. If it's a wreck go home.

Do they offer fried pickles? If not, go home.

And avoid anything that has restaurants in more than 3 states.

It's really that simple.

tldr if your hooters is shit dont eat there

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

If it has 'House of Pizza' in the name is a huge red flag. I don't mind Greek pizza, but [Town] House of Pizza is generally pretty shit.

Chinese Food places where they this certain menus hanging up. Generally they're pictures of food, but they are the same exact menu and it makes me wonder where they order them from. I'll attach an example.


I went to a (genuine) mexican place that had replaced their menus with a QR code scanner because they were concerned that the menus could spread covid or some shit I don't know. Food was fucking amazing but my phone at the time couldn't scan QR codes for some reason so they had to bring me a menu lmao

Hood chinese like that pic can be secretly delicious if you know which ones to go to

 

[The Wicked Mitch]

Any place that forces or at least is difficult about having you install some fucking app or scan a QR code to see the menu and/or order. Get fucked you absolute nigger.

Michelin restaurants that don't even allow you to order, get fucked nigger im not eating whatever the chef needs to get rid of by the end of service.

Anywhere with over 5% ethnics/non-whites.

 

[Mango Cobra]

Hood chinese like that pic can be secretly delicious if you know which ones to go to

Oh absolutlely. I stumbled into one place where the lady who owned it had a perfect memory and remembered my orders from months before, so I'd walk in, and she'd ask if I wanted 'the usual' and I'd get it. I wouldn't go for like, 4 months, and sh'd remember what i liked. Was great.

However they're the exception.

 

[PeggieBigCock]

Ideally you want a restaurant full of customers of the country of origin, you want a ramen spot full of Japs, a Peruvian spot full of mestizos, an Italian joint full of fat loud goombas, that’s the food you wanna eat. White & black people are not known for their good taste in food generally in America, just look in any Applebee’s or TGI Friday’s, it’s full of pasty white fats & ape nigs.

 

[EnemyStand]

You guys are fucking weird.
Here's the proper red flags:

If the wait staff isn't young and don't all have big tits, go home.

My guy, a 50-year old waitress who calls you "hon" will give the best service out of anyone. Also, those big tittied young ladies aren't going to have sex with you.

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

My guy, a 50-year old waitress who calls you "hon" will give the best service out of anyone. Also, those big tittied young ladies aren't going to have sex with you.

I don't want to have sex with young retarded big titty ladies. I want to stare at their tits like the pervert I am.