What cool shit are you going to do when the cops are gone?

[AnOminous]

Run over jaywalkers finally.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Get a brick to smash a window so I can steal crowbar to break open the OnlyFans servers and upload it all using bittorrent. Twitter will hate me more than Hitler.

 

[Bender]

McDonalds is open again, so I don't need to go raiding them for Big Mac sauce. So I guess I'll raid the local and drink enough to feel like I should raid McDonalds for their Big Mac sauce.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Start a private security firm consisting of an all-girl army of kung fu killers.

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

Physical removal.

Or Killdozer 2.0

 

[Rosemary]

Rob a Victoria's Secret, of course.

I'm sure there will be bitches trying to steal my panties and shit, so I'll have to come up with a way to kill as many bitches as needed.

 

[Meat Target]

Rip the "Do Not Remove" tags off of mattresses at IKEA

 

[Truman the Jewman]

Engage in premarital missionary position sex with a member of the opposite sex who is also around my age whilst not wearing a condom and never contact her again afterward, especially for child support inquiries.

 

[Meat Target]

Take a nap. Then forcefully corner the market on mayonnaise. You want mayo, you come to me...

If you're a Miracle Whip guy, I'll have you assassinated. Just a fair warning...